Need help of reviewing my transfer application essays to B-schools

Hello Professionals,
I am an international student who is currently a sophomore at a community college in WA state.
I am preparing my transfer applications to several b-schools for undergraduate study specialization in accounting and finance. And my target school is Haas.
Though I know my chances is low, I still one more supplemental essay that I need to complete. Does anyone of you be willing to review my essay?
As for now, many of you would have understand that I do not write well.
I need you help, Senseis..
Let me know if this is something you are interested in, I will pm you very soon.
Thank so much.

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