Nepotism pisses me off

I'm a first-gen student at a top target and I can't stand the amount of nepotism I see. It pisses me off that I have to put in 10x more effort to find opportunities while my classmates have parents getting them top internships like nothing. I understand that working this hard teaches me to hustle but it's so frustrating to see my classmates breeze through while I'm working my ass off just to have a chance.

Comments (68)

  • Prospect in IB-M&A
Aug 12, 2020 - 12:05am

First gen college student at a target here. Participated in GS diversity events for it from March until July.

Got one of their "special diversity" superdays through it. In my superday, there were mostly kids who were non-diversity/definitely not first gen college students/all of the kids went to prep schools. They gave out offers to like 1 or 2 people out of 30-40 - kids who had offers already and were at typical supertarget schools. Know how many people they gave offers to in their first round of normal recruiting? TONS. Probably closer to 30-40% of people. Read the 2021 GS superday thread to confirm.

I wasn't even considered for the normal round because I had one of their superdays already. I honestly would've had a better chance if I had never done their diversity process. GS might count first gen as diversity but they definitely don't give a crap about it past the events.

Most Helpful
  • Analyst 1 in IB - Restr
Aug 11, 2020 - 11:52pm

Let me get this straight. You, a diversity candidate from a top-target, want to complain about bias in IBD recruiting? Talk about glass houses...

  • Prospect in IB-M&A
Aug 12, 2020 - 1:41pm

Wait this is important to address because it seems like everyone is under the impression that first-gen = diversity. This is not the case at the vast majority of firms out there. I wish it was but diversity only includes Black and Latinx

Aug 13, 2020 - 9:58pm
grieze, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Stop being an idiot and just say Latino. People in Latin America will think you're some sort of pussboi if you say that there.

Aug 13, 2020 - 1:49am
UFOinsider, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Yes because they hire 2 black kids the whole fucking system isn't tilted against them?

Get busy living
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  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
Aug 12, 2020 - 12:00am

The point about them being your classmates is that you can reach out and bridge some of the gap between you and the privilege they have. You shouldn't take it as an affront, and rather it would be a lot smarter to look at it positively and recognize the opportunity. They don't have to be your best friends, as you keep the relationship as classmates in context, but it is an opportunity and should be taken advantage of as that is supposed to be part of the experience.

This generation is so sensitive about everything. AA doesn't have to offend anyone as much as the kids who get in through legacy don't have to either, nor anyone else. People are too busy trying to protect their itty bitty sense of pride instead of being big and proud enough to withstand what's thrown at them. Be happy about the opportunity, make the best of it, and stfu.

Aug 18, 2020 - 1:55am
Talia Al Ghoul, what's your opinion? Comment below:

It's really hard to "reach out" beyond superficial friendships.

If it's like anything like the UK, them typpa circle people tend to stick together in the long term and are very cliquey.

  • Intern in IB-M&A
Aug 12, 2020 - 12:07am

"First-gen at top target". Come on. I have no doubt you're a smart person and have worked very hard to get to where you are. But I'm sorry, there are thousands of kids who would kill to be in your shoes and you're complaining about students with connections getting jobs? The industry of finance has always been about who you know and always will be, it's the name of the game whether you think it's fair or not. Good luck to you in your process and just keep in mind the position you are in currently to land a job is at your fingertips. Keep up the hustle because it's respect

  • Prospect in IB-M&A
Aug 12, 2020 - 12:11am

fair point, things could be a lot worse for me. This post was more of a rant than anything. It's not something I am passionate about but rather something that has frustrated me the past couple of days

Aug 12, 2020 - 1:37am
BabyAcquisitions, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I feel ya, OP. Lots of non diverse kids end up applying and getting in through diversity events.

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Aug 12, 2020 - 10:41am
Steve Wibble, what's your opinion? Comment below:

So I am first generation from a shit poor family at a semi-target who isn't diversity. Yes it is harder for me, a lot harder but what drives me on is the desire to make a better life for myself and my family. If I do make it and if I do have kids, I know I will do everything in my power to give those kids the best start in life possible. When I see my friends parents swooping in to give them a boost it pisses me off but I know in 30 years time I will be that parent. You can't stop people loving and helping their kids there are greater injustices in the world.

Aug 12, 2020 - 3:18pm
Finance Amigo, what's your opinion? Comment below:

it may not when your kids are the benefactors

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Aug 12, 2020 - 3:29pm
anthro123, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Also first gen at a top target. Unfortunately, we don't get to pick our parents nor the circumstances that we're born into. However, we can try to make the best of what we do have, which, given that you're at a top target, is A LOT, even without super rich parents and family connections. Looking back at my college experience, my "target" opened so many doors that my high school / younger self did not even know existed and would have never foreseen. Life is certainly unfair, and yes it'd be nice to instantly have jobs/opportunities lined up because of who your father is, but please don't overlook the fact that you're in an amazing position too.

Do not fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others!! It only fuels resentment and insecurity, and you'll never win. Be grateful and enjoy the grind.

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Aug 12, 2020 - 3:31pm

Mate, I grew up poor too and, frankly, if you're gonna vent on anyone then blame your (our) parents, or grandparents, or ancestry or whatever. Part of why we hustle so hard is so that our kids can have bright futures ahead of them; our older generation didn't do that. Maybe there were extreme circumstances for them bla bla, but at some point back in time, humans were equal, and our ancestors blew it. Don't take it out on the rich kids, they didn't choose their parents either.

Edit: I didn't say you have to blame someone, just saying if you did want to...

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Aug 16, 2020 - 1:10pm

Lol at the MS. People need to stop acting like victims and feeling entitled to equality. You chose a career in finance, of all things, where all is fair as long as you can execute.

  • Prospect in IB-M&A
Aug 12, 2020 - 4:37pm

I think it's easy to assume you're outworking everyone because you're so focused on what you're doing and not paying attention to others hustling. In my experience, the kids with connections are just as hard but the connections are a boost.

  • Prospect in IB-M&A
Aug 12, 2020 - 5:04pm

Lol I meant they often work just as hard. And statistically have more success because their connections give them a higher ceiling and more opportunities to prove themselves

Aug 12, 2020 - 4:42pm
Jeff Skilling, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Diversity is the engine that drives this country. We are an immigrant nation! The first generation works their fingers to the bone making things, the next generation goes to college and innovates new ideas, the third generation... snowboards and takes improv classes. - Jack Donaghy

Aug 12, 2020 - 7:30pm
BBCinIB, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Mate, you're very tense. Nail some tail to the cross and release that tension.

  • Associate 1 in IB-M&A
Aug 12, 2020 - 9:40pm

God, you're a whiny bitch. There are so many people like you that would be more than happy to put their head down and grind. I was a first-gen student too, but did I complain when my friends got their jobs and I didn't? No, I shut the fuck up and worked my ass off. You should be thanking the stars you're at a target.

Aug 13, 2020 - 1:54am
UFOinsider, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Stick to the non-legacy crowd, it's bigger than you think. For now, leverage any relationship you can any way you can because YES you are changing your legacy and that's a hard thing to do. Once you start working, of course be cool with everyone but realize you are going to do much better by associating with people who earned their way in on merit alone, you will respect them more and they will teach you more.

Once you're actually in industry for a while it all evens out. People stop caring where you went to school, who your dad is, what sport you played as a kid, they REALLY don't care what your grades were.....people just care what you will do for them, that's what they pay you on.

Get busy living
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Aug 13, 2020 - 2:41am
ElitistPopulist, what's your opinion? Comment below:

hahah, I've got a friend who got a guaranteed summer analyst spot at a BB without communicating a word directly to any person involved in that bank. similar thing is about to happen to another friend with a smaller bank.

  • Prospect in 
Aug 13, 2020 - 2:56am

WSO: diversity is absolutely disgusting. People should be hired based off of merit only.

Also WSO: haha loser, nepotism is just the way things are. It's always been like this, merit has nothing to do with getting hired. Stop crying about things you can't change, big baby.

  • Intern in Other
Aug 13, 2020 - 3:08pm

Welcome to the real world dude. Shits never gonna change and you're never going to get away from it

Aug 13, 2020 - 6:29pm
Zemora, what's your opinion? Comment below:

OP, I would have agreed with you being a first-gen student a while back but you attend a top target.

Only 3% of 17-18 years old U.S. high school graduates who go to college even attend a selective university that admits fewer than half of their applicants (i.e. have an acceptance rate of 50% or lower).

You're already privledged by virtue of the university you attend. There's no doubt nepotism might exist in some forms at targets but recognize you've already "skipped the line". You're ahead of 97% of U.S. high school graduates (i.e. almost certainly attending non-targets) who are going or currently attending college.

Aug 13, 2020 - 10:08pm
diverse_kanga, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Nepotism is a form of meritocracy. The thinking goes if you are extremely good at what you do such that you have earned respect from powerful people in your network, your offspring should benefit. In that sense, if you are competing against a nepotism hire, you are really competing against their parents.

  • Intern in IB-M&A
Aug 13, 2020 - 11:36pm

Even though I grew up rich, I still realize that I didn't achieve any of the things my dad did. I am still happy to have benefited from it though. Companies, especially banks, take advantage of nepotism because we still live in a relationship driven world.

Aug 14, 2020 - 4:54am
Telemachus, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Nepotism sucks, but the higher you climb the less of an issue it becomes.

I've seen ppl w/ rich parents end up at great UGs, great BBs and then great MBAs....and after that??? Epic fails at cushy jobs. If you're that 35+ something spoiled rich kid w/ a CV of continued failures for the past 5 years, what's next? Even your rich parents aren't going to help.

Aug 17, 2020 - 7:54am
sandals.com, what's your opinion? Comment below:

You're probably a big fan of the estate tax then too huh?

Money can purchase freedom, if you have the guts to buy it

Aug 17, 2020 - 8:08am
jay_ay_why, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Absolutely agree OP. Now that I do some recruiting from my firm, I get extremely frustrated the amount of resumes that get forwarded from MDs about their friends' kids

We often give them a first round interview. No networking or pre-screens etc. Sometimes they are late in the process too and it doesnt matter

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Aug 18, 2020 - 5:13am

Curious to know how many even make it to superdays and convert.

Aug 18, 2020 - 2:00am
Talia Al Ghoul, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I get OP

Whilst sometimes you'd recognise that because you face unsimilar hurdles, it's hard not to compare your achievements against theirs and not feel behind on some way or inadequate or even unacomplished.

A lil solace is looking at how far you made it, you're in a better position than a lot of disadvantaged kids, but you are still the top candidate at the bottom of the ladder, and when you look up the ladder is going through a whole glass ceiling that's a lil bit unattainable.

As for diversity and social mobility initiatives, they're jokes, kids who really don't need those programs tend to saturate it because a) they know about it and b) they have the entry grades for them. It rarely reaches out to the intended audience .

Aug 22, 2021 - 9:58am
chipotle99, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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Aug 22, 2021 - 3:39pm
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Aug 22, 2021 - 4:20pm
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