Never been in a fight. Not a man?

Non-target senior. 22-year-old Asian male. Investment sales intern. 

The closest I came was in sixth grade when I got into an argument with this kid and threw my heavy-ass book bag at him, hit him right on the head. He was crying and I kept calling him a bitch until the gym teacher came over and made me apologize. Ever since then I've been a true neutral.

I just can't get myself angry enough over social media to really have beef with someone. Even if someone tries to start with me (happened once or twice) I resolve the issue with words. I'm not afraid to fight, I just can't bring myself to throw hands over petty things... how do I change this? I've been listening to bad/hard music to help think King Von, Poo Sheisty, and the like. I think it'll help me become a more violent person. Any suggestions here would be appreciated.

Everyone likes me, I have a lot of friends but I just don't seem manly because I've never been in a proper street fight. I also think it's why I can't lose my virginity. Thoughts?

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Comments (111)

Funniest
  • Analyst 2 in IB - Gen
Jul 26, 2021 - 10:58am

This is the most WSO post of them all

  • Intern in RE - Comm
Jul 26, 2021 - 11:46am

I don't really see how the post is the "best of all time" 'm just looking for advice and thought I'd come here.

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  • Prospect in IB - Restr
Jul 26, 2021 - 11:50am

If this is satire, you made me laugh. If it isn't satire, you've got bigger problems than being at a non-target ;) 

  • Intern in RE - Comm
Jul 26, 2021 - 11:55am

Satire!? Listen Prospect, I have better things to do than troll on WSO. I'm a discord admin, I can easily go on there and get real work done but I need some advice, and not one person who has replied has given me any! I have an urge to walk outside and punch the first person I see though I feel that'll be frowned upon.

Most Helpful
Jul 26, 2021 - 12:01pm

Not sure how serious this post is. Anyway, I'll bite.

When I was a bit younger a few mates and I started working out and discuss options for other sports. Judo was phasing out, MMA was big on TV. Muay Thai was getting more prominent and we joined some local dojo in our hick town. After a few weeks we thought we are the reincarnation of Bruce Lee. Walked around town with pumped up chests and fairly anti social behavior.

One night a bunch of idiots threw a beer bottle towards us and out of nothing a street fight started. Nothing serious, as luckily nobody was carrying their gun and nobody had a knife on them. I accidentally left my dagger under the car seat. After a few minutes of yelling and shouting, a friend kicks this guy who immediately falls and won't wake up. We called EMS and this dude seriously almost died. He had some brain issues anyway  and my friend was arrested at his parents' place and had to go to court for this. With a criminal conviction for a violent crime, he never worked a decent job in his life.

Lessons?

1) Nobody knows who carries what kind of weapon. Gun, knife, .. anything is possible. Don't pick a fight when you have nothing to gain from it. If someone calls you names, ignore it and keep walking. All of my friends and I learned this lesson.

2) If you do pick a fight, make sure the other side starts. Not you. Be ready to defend yourself, but don't be stupid enough to start the entire thing. De-escalation techniques are worth more than a gunfight. A fight avoided is a fight won. This is especially important if you have family and/or children in the vehicle or that rely on you.

3) Be ready to be arrested after the fight, regardless of jurisdiction. Police have the ability to find you quickly. And anything in your possession becomes evidence for the lawyers, meaning it's gone for a while.

4) You are responsible for every bullet that leaves the chamber, for every stab you make and for every kick or punch that comes from you. Another guy's idiocy is  never worth going to jail for.

5) In today's world there are plenty of fools who have nothing to loose. Any petty argument can lead to a situation where you will get stabbed or shot. Nothing in this world is worth more than your life, don't forget that (with the rare exception of defending your own family or serving your country, of course. But that isn't what you asked).

Jul 26, 2021 - 1:22pm

I was dating this insanely hot girl and I'm....not exactly God's gift to women. I walk in with this insanely hot girl to this bar in D.C. and she's definitely the hottest girl there. I hear these guys yell over to us, "Dang, he must have a huge Wang." I smiled and felt like a billion bucks. I. Was. The. Man.

A few weeks later it dawned on me that he was insulting me--saying that I was too troll to be there with that girl. 6 months later she randomly brings up this incident where she said she thought I should have defended my honor and her honor. I was like, "Well, first of all, in the moment I thought they were complimenting me for being the man and you for being hot. Secondly, I have a real job. If arrests are made and this goes to the papers that pretty much means I lose my job. Finally, I don't have a right ACL, which means I would lose fights to 12-year-old girls because I can't pivot and, surprisingly, I can't throw a punch. You'd be surprised how important the plant foot is in throwing a punch."

We broke up 10 days later lol. She clearly was stewing over that incident for 6 months. 

Array

  • 6
Jul 26, 2021 - 1:32pm

A person who expected you to start an argument over that is clearly a girl and not a woman. Immature at best or worse, dangerous. If every guy would start a fight for every word said, every city would be named Chicago. Just ignore the haters and live your life, get a girlfriend who is more mature and understands this.

source: I am a law abiding citizen and second amendment supporter who has *never* needed to pull my gun for anything.

self defense source https://open.lib.umn.edu/criminallaw/chapter/5-2-self-defense/

To successfully claim self-defense, the defendant must prove four elements. First, with exceptions, the defendant must prove that he or she was confronted with an unprovoked attack. Second, the defendant must prove that the threat of injury or death was imminent. Third, the defendant must prove that the degree of force used in self-defense was objectively reasonable under the circumstances. Fourth, the defendant must prove that he or she had an objectively reasonable fear that he or she was going to be injured or killed unless he or she used self-defense. The Model Penal Code defines self-defense in § 3.04(1) as "justifiable when the actor believes that such force is immediately necessary for the purpose of protecting himself against the use of unlawful force by such other person on the present occasion."

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Gen
Jul 28, 2021 - 9:40am

Memberberries

I was dating this insanely hot girl and I'm....not exactly God's gift to women. I walk in with this insanely hot girl to this bar in D.C. and she's definitely the hottest girl there. I hear these guys yell over to us, "Dang, he must have a huge Wang." I smiled and felt like a billion bucks. I. Was. The. Man.

A few weeks later it dawned on me that he was insulting me--saying that I was too troll to be there with that girl. 6 months later she randomly brings up this incident where she said she thought I should have defended my honor and her honor. I was like, "Well, first of all, in the moment I thought they were complimenting me for being the man and you for being hot. Secondly, I have a real job. If arrests are made and this goes to the papers that pretty much means I lose my job. Finally, I don't have a right ACL, which means I would lose fights to 12-year-old girls because I can't pivot and, surprisingly, I can't throw a punch. You'd be surprised how important the plant foot is in throwing a punch."

We broke up 10 days later lol. She clearly was stewing over that incident for 6 months. 

I don't see how "he must have a huge wang" can be anything but a compliment.. to both of you. Unless you look like a bum (dirty or unfit clothes or maybe even screaming extra cheap), who cares what a guy looks like? I think any man would rather look well kempt and like he's packing an 11 incher than to be considered "good looking".

Jul 28, 2021 - 2:54pm

parisbudhndrx

watch american psycho

He doesn't get into any fights in this movie - he just kills people. Fight Club is a better movie pick.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Jul 26, 2021 - 12:30pm

Getting your nose bashed in will not make girls want to sleep with you more lmao 

I'm from Europe 

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  • Intern in AM - Equities
Jul 26, 2021 - 1:28pm

People who go into martial arts cus they think they'll have an upper hand when they go out are such fucking losers. No amount of man to man grappling is going to help in a real life altercation lmao.

Jul 26, 2021 - 2:07pm

People who go into martial arts cus they think they'll have an upper hand when they go out are such fucking losers. No amount of man to man grappling is going to help in a real life altercation lmao.

This is false. Learn Muay Thai and elbows and striking will enable you to win any fight. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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  • Intern in AM - Equities
Jul 26, 2021 - 3:53pm

Elbows maybe but striking with fists seems pretty stupid without gloves. Like I said below size and intimidation are the most important factors for fights outside of a ring.

Jul 26, 2021 - 4:38pm

I know about five jiu jitsu moves and they have saved my ass in the few fights that I've been in.  When you put your opponent in a super simple lock that will break their arm if they resist any further the fight is over.

Also, things like jiu jitsu are super important as they actually END a fight. If your game plan is punch each either other 20 times until one person gives up, that's a very very bad plan even if you're the bigger guy. Put someone in a lock and it's over. Apologies are made and people go home.

Jul 26, 2021 - 7:07pm

Elbows maybe but striking with fists seems pretty stupid without gloves. Like I said below size and intimidation are the most important factors for fights outside of a ring.

You're wrong - a quick uppercut or hook to the jaw will drop someone. A quick pop to their nose will break it. If you know how to punch, you'll primarily be striking with the first two knuckles on the index and ring fingers.

With that being said my knockout strike would be an elbow to the orbital. I've practiced this move for hundreds of hours on the heavy bag.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 2
Jul 28, 2021 - 4:27pm

Maybe your muy thai helps you. but in the end, Stronger Than U Fu is the best mode of martial arts there is. 

Life is more than dollars
  • 1
  • Intern in AM - Equities
Jul 26, 2021 - 3:52pm

stature/size and intimidation are far more important factors in fights outside of an organized setting.

  • Intern in AM - Equities
Jul 27, 2021 - 2:16pm

I highly doubt some man child Brazilian would have a "license to kill" me Bc he practiced some arm bars in a studio. 
 

source: 6'6" and 245 lbs.

Jul 26, 2021 - 2:11pm

I've only been in two street fights. I wouldn't recommend them. There are so many things that could go wrong, including accidentally killing someone and getting manslaughter chargers and hard times, or even getting assault charges even if you didn't throw the first punch. A lot of shady people carry knives and you don't want to get stabbed in the stomach or organs. 

Suck up your pride and deflate the situation like a civilized man. If you want to fight to prove yourself, join an MMA, boxing, or Muay Thai gym and take up sparring or get in the ring for sanctioned legal fighting. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 4
Jul 26, 2021 - 6:44pm

kootcapital69

Isaiah, aren't you the one who told a guy he could either fight you or do push-ups because he was in your path while you were riding your bike? 

He purposely taunted me and I almost crashed and he laughed. I'm not gonna let that shit fly. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 1
Jul 26, 2021 - 2:46pm

I think if anything this makes you a smart man, like the Sun Tzu maxim I think that the battle is won/lost before it even began. Def the best way to "win" any fight is to avoid fighting as much as possible in my humble opinion. But I could be very wrong about this stuff…

Jul 26, 2021 - 3:33pm

You are fortunate enough to never really be in a fight. Some of us it has been the opposite either someone thinks they are physically stronger or intellectually. I just cannot count the times when someone comes along and thinks they are intellectually superior to me. As, I get older the less the physically the more the intellectual fights. I am just better at managing them.

SafariJoe, wins again!
Jul 26, 2021 - 3:47pm

"Confront your enemies, avoid them when you can; a gentleman will walk but never run"

No idea why you want to change your calmed, balanced and civilised self for a sparking fight-picking attitude, based on random half-wisdom.

While imo a troll, still: if you want to develop awareness for aggresivity and how to channel it, the options mentioned above are the right way to go. I would only add BJJ and if you even think of something with more flow Capoeira.... But the latter will deprive you of the joy of spitting blood.

Buddy, the cemetery is full of heroic stupids (testing themselves, their immature manliness and their luck on random fights).

  • Intern in RE - Comm
Jul 26, 2021 - 7:19pm

I love that song.

Ive been a good neutral all of my life, I want to be a sigma male now, I won't that mindset and that grindset. My friend (a Reddit mod and Disocrd admin) told me about "sigma energy" he says I need some. 

Jul 26, 2021 - 4:52pm

Is it a joke post or not? In any case, I will try to give some comments.

Fistly, I don't understand why you mentioned things like being in non-target and internship. By the way, congrats for that internship.

Fighting a lot does not make more manly, or fighting less does not make less manly. Fighting can mean a lot things; starting from fighting over keyboard ending with UFC style fight.

Fighting over keyboard does not make you more manly.

Arguing with everything does not make you more manly.

Getting aggressive every 2 minutes does not make you more manly.

Doing martial arts can make you more manly.

Remaining calm, confident, not losing your temper and still being using your brains while arguing is more manly to my opinion than getting offended after 1 harsh sentence and starting to "fight".

Jul 26, 2021 - 7:11pm

Best advice here. Training BJJ will take less of a toll on you than striking. It is also more effective for self defense. You will get the rush of fighting and knowledge to handle yourself without a busted nose and brain damage. Kickboxing is cool but not for everyone. 

Jul 27, 2021 - 1:38pm

T30Graduate

Best advice here. Training BJJ will take less of a toll on you than striking. It is also more effective for self defense. You will get the rush of fighting and knowledge to handle yourself without a busted nose and brain damage. Kickboxing is cool but not for everyone. 

I don't think this is true. You're likely to get more random BJJ injuries than Muay Thai.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 1
Jul 26, 2021 - 5:14pm

This has to be a troll post.  How would being a 22 year old non target Asian be relevant to anything you wrote.

Jul 26, 2021 - 8:29pm

I deemed it relevant because if I were a black male, I wouldn't have this problem. 

Not only are you a dumb ass but you are also a racist.

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  • 1
Jul 26, 2021 - 7:05pm

Posting shit like this is why you're a virgin.

Meet me in front of Penn Station (W 32nd & 7th) 9:30pm tonight.  I'll be wearing a Citadel Hat, and a MS shirt. Wear your favorite finance swag. If you don't have any, I'll bring some. (and NO don't wear a Fidelity shirt like a virgin) That way everyone knows we're from WSO. Bring a friend who can take you to a hospital once we're done.

PS: Your mom asked me to make a man out of you last night when she stayed over at my place.

Jul 26, 2021 - 7:50pm

Been in a few back in my day, at least half a dozen i can remember. Luckily none ever got really bad. I never got my ass beat, and I never kept it going when the person was clearly done. I guess I didn't wanna take it that far. A bunch ended kinda in a stalemate, where me and the other guy were both kinda beat and decided to call it a day. Others were just broken up.

I may sound like a soyboi here, but getting hit in the face really hurts and I generally don't want to experience it again. No fights for prob 5 years, try to diffuse with words now. Much better strat. Plus if u beat someones ass bad, u got no way of knowin they aint gonna come back strapped the next day. Not worth the risk man, a person who had their pride hurt will shoot first and think later.

Dayman?
  • 4
Jul 26, 2021 - 11:49pm

Nightman Cometh

I never got my ass beat, nor did I even not stop when the person was clearly done. I guess I didn't wanna take it that far. 

This triple negative sentence confuses me - "nor did I even not stop" - so you didn't stop and took it too far?

I had one fight end like this. Person was unconscious and a cop pulled me off of him. I had bloody knuckles, but he ended up going to jail, not me.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 2
Jul 27, 2021 - 12:48am

Haha my bad, I'm dumb man. Oof. I meant that I would never take it that far. Fixed it for future readers sake. There was one time the guy really deserved a beating, but I somehow managed to hold off even though I coulda put his lights out.

Dayman?
  • 1
  • Intern in RE - Comm
Jul 26, 2021 - 9:02pm

TBH the subway isn't so bad. In my experience, it's all normal people riding it. I keep to myself but have never felt threatened or uncomfortable.

Jul 26, 2021 - 11:51pm

AttackSnail

Love the troll, but as someone who has been in a real fight, it is terrifying

Yeah - big difference between a street fight and training MMA is the hard concrete and getting slammed into brick walls and onto the ground. One bad hit and you could get a Traumatic Brain Injury and permanent brain damage.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 1
Jul 26, 2021 - 10:26pm

Sucks to be you, can't relate.

By the time I was 16, I had already broken my neck in a street fight, gotten scarred on my face with broken glass, and jumped a guy that one time in the backyard of a McDonalds in Brooklyn. What did he do to deserve that vicious beating? IDK. I just felt like fighting. 

Go wash the sand out of your v*** and get into a street fight already. Time is running out.

  • Analyst 1 in IB - Cov
Jul 26, 2021 - 11:21pm

99.9% sure this is bait, but in case its not

  1. being in a fight does not make you more of a man. In fact, it can make you less of one depending on circumstances. Especially if you could have taken the high ground or were childish.
  2. Usually the fight instinct comes from life experiences where that gets ingrained in you. You can take combat sports lessons which may help, but be thankful your life was not shit enough to make you have that instinct.
  3. The fact that you have not been in a fight, or the "energy" that comes from that is not why you have not been laid. Its you second guessing yourself and putting out that energy that there is something wrong with you. Negative self-image leads to poor outward projection, not the fact you didn't go ape shit on someone.

Source: A dude suspended for fighting in HS

  • Intern in PE - Other
Jul 27, 2021 - 1:20pm

I was kind of that kid early in my college career always trying to start shit, I never got my ass beat even if I deserved it.

It is almost certainly not worth the hassle to get into some kind of street fight or bar fight. The odds of one or both of you to get some form of injury are gigantic, and it takes one bad fall for one of you to have a TBI. Some guys started shit at a party I was hosting in my apartment and I put some dude in a camel-clutch. It's not worth it in any way even if you end up on the winning-end. 

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Jul 27, 2021 - 3:11pm

Since we are on the topic of fights-

Was at a bar once and a dude weighing 40 pounds lighter than me points at my arms and says, "wow big man huh, bet you could beat my ass, just kidding, I'd kill you". He was drunk, alone, and there were 6 guys with me all outweighing him by 40-70 pounds. We all look at each other, one guy looks at the guy and gives me a look like are you going to swing? I nod and say no.

If you are smart, this situation plays out 3 ways, none of which are fun:

1) he has a gun, a knife, or a ton of friends and was baiting you 

2) he is a loser, and you beat the crap of of the guy, get roughed up by the bouncers/ kicked out, and spend the rest of your night trying to find a new place while trying to explain why your hand is swollen to double its normal size at work the next day. Also, your favorite shirt got ripped when the clown tried to grab it, so you are out $120+ In addition to the cover.

3) You beat the crap out of the guy, he sues and or you go too far and end up facing criminal charges.

Here's why fights suck: you either get your ass beat, which sucks for obvious reasons. Or you beat someone else up, in which case you need to make sure you throttle back enough that they won't swing back at you, but also aren't severely hurt enough to file a charge. This is actually pretty hard to do.

Fights suck for adult professionals, you have everything to lose and only gain an ego trip for a night.

Jul 27, 2021 - 4:06pm

Not having been in a fight is not the reason you haven't lost your virginity. Nor is it the reason you don't seem "manly". You can pick up a martial art to see if that gets you the confidence or the attitude of being more "manly", but as someone who practices martial arts this wasn't really the case for me.

I'm not sure what else to say, but you have to work on your attitude if you think that's the problem. This won't happen by punching someone in the face (more likely you'll be knocked anyway) or listening to violent songs. Your looks also have a lot to do with why you haven't lost your virginity. Lastly if you are this delusional about how thinking "not being a fighter" didn't get you laid, I would say you're a weird person to be around to begin with. Sorry if that's mean, but that's the truth.

  • Analyst 1 in CorpFin
Jul 27, 2021 - 7:30pm

Here's how I look at it - 

Certain race/races are know as "tough"/looking for respect/fights a lot etc...However, such race/races also have the highest single-mom rate. So you tell me if leaving a single mom is a "tough" action or not. 

I am not trying to point fingers or play the race debate. I simply want to say "fighting" doesn't necessarily make a man more manly. Your biggest and most difficult enemy is not the boss yelling at you or random dude at bar. Instead, it is LIFE. I think a real tough guy is a man who takes responsibilities and provides for the family. 

It's ok if you haven't got into a fight or haven't lost your virginity or w/e. Just keep in mind, LIFE will always find a way to mess you up. When it's that time, don't cry like a baby or run away like those "tough guys" from those races. 

  • Intern in RE - Comm
Jul 27, 2021 - 7:38pm

Here's how I look at it - 

Certain race/races are know as "tough"/looking for respect/fights a lot etc...However, such race/races also have the highest single-mom rate. So you tell me if leaving a single mom is a "tough" action or not. 

I am not trying to point fingers or play the race debate. I simply want to say "fighting" doesn't necessarily make a man more manly. Your biggest and most difficult enemy is not the boss yelling at you or random dude at bar. Instead, it is LIFE. I think a real tough guy is a man who takes responsibilities and provides for the family. 

It's ok if you haven't got into a fight or haven't lost your virginity or w/e. Just keep in mind, LIFE will always find a way to mess you up. When it's that time, don't cry like a baby or run away like those "tough guys" from those races.  

 LMAO this kinda racist ngl. But thanks for the advice, I appreciate it my g.

Jul 27, 2021 - 7:47pm

OP, to achieve peak masculine energy and a complete liberation of the senses, do the following:

1) Drive to your nearest urban city.

2) Roll down the windows and play "Took Her to the O", "Hellcats and Trackhawks", "Bouncin", or other drill music flavor of choice.

If you are feeling particularly belligerent, experiment with flashing various controversial hand signals and shouting various head turning irregularities. 
 

You will find what you are looking for.

  • Intern in RE - Comm
Jul 27, 2021 - 8:03pm

I've done this believe it or not. I went to my nearest hood and shouted rather crude things at passerby's and it felt like something was going to go down but I ended up reverting to natural neutrality and we all become friends. My best friend is actually black.

Jul 27, 2021 - 7:53pm

-

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 3
Jul 27, 2021 - 7:55pm

😂😂😂😂😂😂

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

Jul 27, 2021 - 8:19pm

To the people saying it's a good thing to have never been in a fight - no it is not.  How much can you know about yourself if you've never been in a fight?

Personally, I had never been in a fight, spent my nights buying Ikea furniture and going to testicular cancer support groups.  Then I got involved in a secret fight club, started a new project called Mayhem, and began having steady sex w/ a nice girl named Marla. 

I come from down in the valley, where mister when you're young, they bring you up to do like your daddy done

  • 2
Jul 27, 2021 - 8:33pm

#winning 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • Associate 3 in PE - Other
Jul 29, 2021 - 12:44am

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"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • Intern in PE - LBOs
Aug 4, 2021 - 12:09pm

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October 2021 Investment Banking

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