Never Enough
A few years ago as a starry eyed 19 year old, I walked into a Citi branch and applied for a credit card. I would be starting my first internship in a few months following my freshman year of college. At the time, I had a certain bravado about myself, knowing I’d landed the highest paid internship in my freshman class, and I wanted a way to spend that money on all the trappings of New York City. If you’re not from the area, I will be the first to inform you that there is an entire industry here dedicated to getting college students into clubs and separating them from their money.
That summer and the following year I spent more money than I had ever even seen in my previous small, suburban, strikingly normal, pre-collegiate life. Rinse and repeat the following summer, but add a jaw dropping, spendthrift girlfriend, expensive restaurants and clubs, and eventually finding myself in 8 thousand dollars of credit card debt at 20 years old. Maybe you could say that was the best thing that ever happened to me, because I worked like a dog to land a better internship — the best internship (for me). I landed a gig at a top tier (JPM/GS/MS) investment bank and dumped the toxic girlfriend before I started working and she could coerce me into spending all my money on her. This year is a rebuilding year for me now, both financially and mentally.
Still, when I go out to I find myself buying drinks for strangers and paying for fashionable drinks with sparklers to get the attention of strangers on the sidewalk for a hollow, unfulfilling 15 seconds. Every time I look at my credit card bill I know I have a problem. A problem that I’ve been able to solve only by working harder to get more money so that I can spend more and work harder to get a better gig to make more money and well....repeat again. It sounds absurd, I’m 21 and all caught up in the Manhattan rat race when I should be slurping beers with with friends and enjoying senior year of college before returning as a full time analyst. Truth be told, I’m scared out of my mind because I just don’t know how this cycle will ever end. I can’t ask my parents for advice because they don’t grasp the “nyc lifestyle” being life long suburban dwellers, and my father humblingly admitted that my starting salary will be higher than any salary he’s made throughout his whole career (it’s really nothing exceptional, but I’m just emphasizing how little my parents “get it”).
Those on this forum who are still reading and understand New York and dating and money:
- How much money does pregaming at your apartment before the bars really save you in the long run?
- Do you ever reveal your job to women in the first few dates?
- How many nights a week/month do you HONESTLY go out? What do those nights look like in terms of expense?
- How much money is “enough” for you to sustainably enjoy life in New York? What sacrifices need to be made to enjoy New York before that point?
Feel free to leave any additional pointers. I obviously need the guidance. Thanks to everyone for your serious advice.
