Only girl, help?

If you really were alpha, you wouldn't be asking this question.

Here's what you should do....

Act like a normal person.

Or just walk in and pull a reverse Caitlyn Jenner, and bam, you're a guy just like everyone else.

How is this a problem? Literally any woman I I am friends with has confessed to liking working with guys much better than working with women. I think women just stress each other out.... This is my takeaway from a reasonably big sample size

Am I the only one who sees the full extent of the text as "I have recently started at a hedge fund,"?

Does the OP actually have an issue or problem? I was the only person ordering Taco Bell for breakfast this morning with an IQ above 80 and a BAC below 0.2% but I'm cool with that.

Not a girl but I work in risk right now and I'm the only non-socially awkward person on my entire side of the floor...just make sure you have a social circle outside of just work.

Be a leader, and don't wait to get included in social events. Figure out when the head of the social hierarchy has free time for drinks, and invite him to your favorite spot... everyone else should follow. If you make an effort to get to know them, although you're the fresh blood, you can win them as friends.

What a whiny thread.

"No one asks me about anything in my life"? hahaha

You come off as a little needy.

"I need direction"? Sit down with the PM and asks him what he wants "I never get invited to any of the outings"? F***ing invite yourself or at least ask.

"Lean in" like the book says, dammit! lol

And stop with the "I am the only girl" sob story. Every desk I have been has a full stable of horn dogs willing to hire any girl > 5, with at least half a brain. Just make sure they respect you (which you say they do) and stop crying like a.. well you know.

This

I have never had such a lack of direction in my life. He has admitted that he doesn't know what I should be doing. What's worse is that no one has made any attempt whatsoever to integrate me into the team.

seems like it contradicts this

I am well-respected. My ideas are taken seriously and incorporated.

As a woman and a software developer who has worked in finance and tech I have been in your shoes (and probably still am lol). Have you made an effort to reach out to your coworkers? If no one is inviting you to lunch have you tried taking the initiative and inviting them to lunch? I remember at my last job I became good friends with one of my coworkers who was African American. We were both minorities so gravitated towards each other. If you have made an effort to invite your coworkers to lunch and try to connect with them but have been rejected or refused, then it may be time to look for a job somewhere else (preferably where there are more women or people closer to your age).

I have never been a “joiner”, meaning I am not good at trying to be a part of a new clique, which is essentially what a new company is like. So, my strategy at a new company has been to reach out and make individual connections with people who seem nice. And when other people are feeling ambivalent about you, your new friend might step in and say “she’s great, we went to this new lunch place and tried x, y, z!”

If you have tried to reach out to the coworkers who are closer to you in age and background and have still been rebuffed, then I recommend that you start interviewing at other places. If you get along well with your boss and he values your input, then you could stay and see if you can crack the social ice. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide if this company is worth all that effort. Myself, I don’t need a lot of friends at work because work is too busy, but I like to have a few friends that I can go to lunch with now and then. But TBH those friends at my last company were the two other women who worked there and just a couple of men, so I hear your pain.

Some of the comments here about you needing to be "alpha" are very immature, I'd ignore them. I have also had plenty of platonic friendships with male coworkers who ranged from 25 years my senior to 10 years my junior, so if inviting someone to lunch is awkward you can just chat it up all day in the lunchroom or water cooler. When you get to know them better, you can invite them to coffee first and then lunch. To make sure they understand it's a completely platonic thing, talk about stuff like tech gadgets or something, but nothing personal at first. If they start to seek you out too much and get a little too interested, just back off and stop talking to them for a while so they get the hint.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck!

I wouldn't invite you for a drink if you are half as annoying/whiny in real life as you come across in this post. I kind of want to slap you.

Ignoring the misogyny above, I think the real issue is most likely a lack of much socializing in the office, period. A lot of financial analysts are closet nerds. At my last shop everyone ate lunch at their desks even though we weren't that market-oriented and there wasn't any reason people couldn't take an hour to chat with their coworkers.

If there are a bunch of events happening that you're not invited to - or if it's a strippers and blow every night kind of fund - then maybe you have a problem. More likely than not, it's just a somewhat quiet, antisocial culture. You might need to make more of an effort to schedule 1:1 lunch or coffee meetings to get to know your coworkers over time.

I am not a woman, but have had the experience of working at small hedge funds where I was by far the youngest person and working in small teams at larger hedge funds where again I was the youngest by a wide margin. a few things:

1) Older people do not want to socialize outside the office as much as young people, so this likely wont change. I would expect a holiday party and maybe some drinks once or twice a year, but other then that you are going to have to get over this issue. Work on getting friends outside of work. 2) People do not get put in front of clients lightly at a small hedge fund (and definitely not at a large one either, where there is a large and professional IR team specifically to keep yo away from investors). Most investors do not want to talk to junior analysts they want to talk to person whose name is on the door and at a smaller fund just about any client can turn out the lights so throwing a young person out there is unlikely to happen. Focus on adding value for the fund and let others worry about raising and keeping the capital. And actually if you progress in the industry one of the benefits of working at a large hedge fund is that you generally DONT have to meet with clients...the business is about making money not about having to do that stuff so be happy you can focus on the part that matters. 3) The lack of direction at the job is a different topic entirely. Hedge funds are places where often you have to find your own way and use your imagination about how to add value, but you still should have some guidance on what to do on a day to day basis. I would ask for further guidance on this but I would stay away from the other social stuff.

I have had this exact experience of being youngest in the office for quite a number of years and so I get where you are coming from. However, (and I dont mean to be callous) you aren't in college or an analyst program anymore...people at work will want to be personable but they don't come to work in order to form new friendships. I suggest you focus on making friends outside of work through other activities. Believe me, eventually you will come to enjoy not being in a situation where everyone is forced to go get drinks regularly and be buddies.

You idiots fall too easily for these new member troll posts.

SB Dingdong for actual useful advice.

I do think a lot of this is just the combination of small fund and older personnel. Investing skill != people management skill, so anyone joining a small/new hedge fund needs to consider that their boss is very likely to be a shit manager.

The only thing to be here is to be proactive in two ways: + Proactively try to set up social events/meetings with your co-workers. If they resist, then maybe they're just too busy being 40/ just don't care so you lay off a bit and have your social life outside of the office (perhaps networking with your sellside counterparts). + Take advantage of your hands-off boss to push the limits. Push areas/ideas you want to focus on. Drive conversations around investing strategy. Schedule, plan, and manage your own reviews and bonus conversations. The lack of structure can be annoying when you're young and don't quite know what to do, but you'll figure out and might be glad you got to carve your own path.

General good career advice: see a vacuum, fill it. If no ones going to stop you then its do-wtf-i-want o' clock.

Obviously, none of this subsumes the cardinal rules of hedge funds: 1) Don't lose money 2) Make money

I work at a fund where I'm >20 years younger than everyone else. I don't socialize outside of the office and my co-workers do. It might just be an age thing.