Overheard in the elevator

I'm on the elevator this morning, woozy from not enough sleep, headed up to my floor. There are two older women on the elevator with me. They're talking.

"... But you have to watch what he eats. You can't let him have McDonald's for lunch or anything."

"No, I try to give him something lighter. Keep it healthy, right?"

"And I try to schedule all his activities in the morning, not too soon after breakfast, but not too close to lunch. I think he has a longer attention span without food on his stomach."

"Right. Anything after lunch is just... roll the dice, you know? All that digesting. He gets cranky, I've noticed that."

"Yes, and you have to watch out for caffeine and sugar -- even a little bit and he'll be bouncing off the walls all day. Give him water instead. Lots of water. You can't give him too much water."

"So that big basket in his office...?"

Office? I blink. Twice. I suddenly realize that they're not talking about taking care of a toddler.

"You'll need to make sure the basket's always full of water bottles, yes. Fiji is what he likes. If he's going to work late then make sure it's full because he hates running out in the middle of the evening."

I rub my eyes. Jesus. This whole world I'm in is bananas.

 

that's pretty good.

somewhat unrelated, it seems a handful of assistants are productive and have decent value-add (in the capacity of their function) but, without sounding chauvinistic, i really wonder how many got their jobs (especially those with less than average looks)

 

Vel qui qui est dicta quibusdam ratione eaque corporis. Impedit placeat doloribus error non consequatur id. Veritatis nostrum eius sit qui alias in.

############ ############ ############ The time is now, seize the day ...

Career Advancement Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. New 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (87) $260
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (14) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (205) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (146) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
3
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
4
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
5
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
6
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
7
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
8
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
9
numi's picture
numi
98.8
10
Linda Abraham's picture
Linda Abraham
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”