Pick Two, They will defend you and the rest are coming to kill you. x50 eagles, x10 Crocidiles, x3 Grizzly Bears, x7 Bulls, x1Man with Gun, x15 Wolves, x10000 rats, x5 gorillas, x4 lions

Pick Two, They will defend you and the rest are coming to kill you. x50 eagles, x10 Crocidiles, x3 Grizzly Bears, x7 Bulls, x1Man with Gun, x15 Wolves, x10000 rats, x5 gorillas, x4 lions



Who Do you got?


Comments (51)

  • Analyst 3+ in IB - Ind
Sep 23, 2020 - 3:29pm

I feel the obvious answer is man with gun plus 5 gorillas however I think it would be a disservice to not acknowledge the sheer quantity of rats in this scenario...10 fucking thousand rats is a force to be reckoned with 

Sep 23, 2020 - 4:05pm

The gun and the eagles, not cause 'merica, but because how are the rest going to stop the eagles from killing the ever living shit out of you...they fly at speeds of over 100mph, turn on a time and have razor shaarp talons with 2 ich claws that could pierce your heart.  What animal above is going to protect you from that, even with the gun.  Even with a shotgun you can't take down 50 eagles.

Sep 24, 2020 - 5:54pm

You can't fly, the man with the gun can't fly, 50 eagles can't take out 10k rats that quickly, so this is a time game as well. Assuming the man kills every large animal before they get to you (being generous here) how do you survive 10k rats before the eagles can clean up?

Sep 23, 2020 - 5:12pm

The man with a gun, assuming he has a rifle. Now, for the second option. I'd go with the eagles but feel like they would get wrecked by the gorillas and bears. The 10k rats is a huge amount, just the sheer number of them could overwhelm everything else. Imagine 'A Plague Tale' but even worse.  

The main thing about money, Bud, is that it makes you do things you don't want to do.

Most Helpful
Sep 23, 2020 - 5:31pm

I've had this debate many times, and here's what I stand by:


The first thought is that you have to have a man with a gun (in the picture version of this, it looks like a hunting rifle) because otherwise he just shoots you. Remember, this is not a "Who would win?"-- it's a "How do you not die?" The man with a gun isn't super useful for defense though-- I'm guessing he can't draw a bead on 50 eagles screaming at you. Because there's no other way to defend the air except for the man with a gun, who we just said can't defend you from the eagles, you have to take the eagles.


So great, we're essentially forced to have eagles, we have one more choice left. 50 eagles can't take out the big animals (including the man with gun, there are 45), and definitely can't take out the 10k rats (for obvious reasons). Eagles + man with gun don't have the power to take out all of the big animals (most of the big animals are quite fast too), so man with gun is eliminated. However, our choice still needs to be able to defend us from the man with gun, at least until the eagles get to him. Two words: rat wall. You hide behind the rats for long enough until the eagles get to the man with gun, and then you have ~222 rats per big animal, with an eagle to attack from the air for each as well. I'm quite positive that 222 rats (or more, depending on how you allocate rats attacking each animal) are definitely enough to at least hold the big animals off while the eagles gouge out their eyes. Blind animals = no huge threat to you anymore and the rats could continue to take them out one by one until you're victorious.

Sep 24, 2020 - 10:44pm

Did you know if you were to start counting from when the universe was created to now, you could only count up to 434 quadrillion - it would take you like 5 times the age of the universe to count all the way to googleplex the largest named number. Isn't that crazy.

I'm not high... just thought that was SUPER interesting.

The main thing about money, Bud, is that it makes you do things you don't want to do.

  • Associate 1 in PE - Other
Sep 23, 2020 - 7:06pm

The man with a gun + 10,000 rats. No matter what you choose, there is no way eagles, gorillas, bulls, lions, crocodiles could kill 10,000 rats. The man with a gun gets a posted up position with a .50 cal and tears through the big predators, while the rats easily take on everything left in between.

Sep 23, 2020 - 7:07pm

wolves and rats. A pack of 15 wolves can take down all of the big game, even in groups of 3 or 4. They might struggle with the man but not if he's getting attacked by rats. I'd then take the man's gun and figure out an environment-based solution for the eagles and whatever else hasn't been stopped by the superior teamwork of the wolves and sheer number and ferociousness of the rats.

Sep 23, 2020 - 7:13pm

All y'all thinking of logical solutions to remove the man with the gun need to understand that if you don't pick him, a man with a gun is going to be shooting at you, something he can do immediately and from a distance, thus killing you before your rats or eagles even get there.

Sep 24, 2020 - 12:17am

I'd honestly just take the rats.

Every other animal (including the man) would have to kill ~105 rats each. I'm not sure how even man + gun can take down 100 determined rats, so how can the non-target animals like Bulls and Wolves possibly take down their share.

You may be thinking, "Hey Redman (White people call me Redman), eagles will dumpster the rats, as their bodies are specialized for eating rodents." I'll respond that having the land war solidly won by the vermintide, I can simply shoot 50 eagles, which must kill a total of 5250 rats before they get tired or full. an eagle that catches and eats a rat is going to fuck off for a few hours. The eagles aren't too game changing, especially when you factor in the odds that a rat takes down an eagle in a fluke.

Sep 24, 2020 - 10:45am

1 eagle could kill about 10-25 rats a minute, they just need to fly low and grab and let go of the rats with their talons.  so 50 eagles could kill up to 1,250 rats a minute.  Even if they could only kill 500 rats a minute, all rats are gone in 20 minutes.  Eagles could blind bulls and pierce their jugulars., same with bears.  But a gun is good for killing most of the large creatures.


And Nightman Cometh said you have to pick the guy with the gun because he would kill you pretty easily.


So, again, eagles and guy with gun.  Plus I' pretty sure you could make some sort of contraption where the 50 eagles attached with a harness on the guy could fly him over the large animals....it would be like shooting fish in a barrell.  Just like LOTR, always just take the eagles to modor

Sep 24, 2020 - 10:53am

Pick the man with the gun and have him give you a painless death because there are no two choices that can stop the onslaught of overwhelming force.  

Sep 24, 2020 - 12:37pm

How much prep time do I have? Enough to train the gorillas in gorilla warfare?

I'm choosing IQ > everything. The gorilla IQ is between 75-95, so could probably manage a McDonalds with the help of sign language, or perhaps purely through intimidation. So 2 men + 5 gorillas is like 7 people if the gorillas were fully conscious of the mission and the threat. If we could also choose the location (are we on a desert plain or dropped into a city like Warzone) and create a bottleneck, and especially if we have prep time to get tools (or vehicles), it would be no problem whatsoever to handle the other animals. 50 determined eagles are still just fucking birds. 5 gorillas imbued with threat knowledge and aided by 2 human beings would not have trouble there.

And if the guy with a gun had never handled a gun before or the gun was California compliant, I would take the gorillas + rats.

Be excellent to each other, and party on, dudes.
Sep 24, 2020 - 2:51pm

What would be the best Warzone drop location to win this fight? Maybe hospital roof? Because you have a good vantage point and the rats and other animals would struggle to get up if you picked the gunman and the eagles?

Also regarding the gunman not being trained in weapons, I feel like since we are assuming all other animals are proficient, we have to assume he is too.

Sep 24, 2020 - 12:42pm

yeah but 10k rats bro... ever heard of the black plague rats did that shit bro.

The main thing about money, Bud, is that it makes you do things you don't want to do.

Sep 24, 2020 - 1:18pm

i think the rats are an easy choice, but after that I would take the wolves, + guy with a gun

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Sep 24, 2020 - 1:45pm

My main question is, what do I get to use to fight here? Am I just supposed to sit in a corner and keep my fingers crossed? If I get a gun to do some work here as well, then I take me, the eagles and the rats. I can shoot that dude from a distance and pick off a few larger animals, so we got this.

Sep 24, 2020 - 4:43pm

First off, it is almost necessary to pick the rats. None of the animals on the list could successfully defend against 10,000 rats bomb rushing you (not even the eagles, no matter how bad ass they are). Plus when you factor in how many rats that is per other animal, it is quite a lot of nibbling / swarming and could do some real damage, especially when they are aggressive and on your side.

I think the second choice is between the eagles and the bears. Grizzly bears are fast, strong and nearly invincible (anyone see Revenant?). Plus bears are known to be able to survive multiple bullet wounds until the rats get to the man with the gun. I think crocodiles could also be a potential choice, but for me the grizzly takes the cake.

With the eagles on the other hand you could deploy a similar strategy that KidSampson mentioned. But eagles + rats will be hard to kill the bigger animals, even if they are blinded. So IMO you have to have an animal on your side that can both defend you as well as kill the other big ones. 

My vote is for rats and bears. Bring it on


Sep 24, 2020 - 6:26pm

Gunner and 15 viciously trained wolves.

"Full speed ahead, damn the torpedoes." -U.S. Navy General Farragut
Sep 24, 2020 - 7:26pm

Quant (ˈkwänt) n: An expert, someone who knows more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing.

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