Please Critique my Resume - Summer Internship

Removed due to personally identifying information.

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Best Response

Okay so this resume needs some work, would recommend first reading any posts you can find on resume writing (M&I, our posts, stuff on here whatever).

  1. You're working what seems to be 6 jobs simultaneously? Thats a big grilling factor since you have a "C-level" title on your resume.
  2. Lose the "CTO" title. You're going to call yourself "Finance Controller and Web Designer" or something to that effect. The reason why is it looks like you're trying very hard on paper to impress the reader, all that's going to do is make us question you. You're trying to impress, we get it but thats not going to net you interviews. Lose that first bullet as it is honestly insulting (you mentioned in the OP to be honest - so thats the truth). Why is it insulting because you're basically denigrating the contributions of 2 people you work directly with. That's a pretty heavy insult as your first bullet.
  3. Work on those bullets, as a simple format = Task you did, numerical value, resulting in XYZ.
  4. Fill up the whole page, change fonts
  5. Separate School activities from real work activities.

Feel free to load up a new one when you're done, then we can get into final edits but believe you can "turn" this yourself once or twice.

Good luck player.

 

Overall much better here are the quick re-its then maybe 1-2 more turns and you'll be good.

  1. Again would separate between club and real work. It seems a bit confusing looks like the last 3 are more school oriented versus work oriented? Tough to tell.
  2. All experience needs a minimum of two bullets so you can do that to add a total of at least 3 more lines.
  3. Third bullet in second experience should be your first bullet. This SHOWS performance the best, a review that placed you at the top. I would call it "Ranked in top 10% in review process due to customer service/sales responses (however you were evaluated).
  4. Skills and activities needs to be reformatted, you have colons then you go to bullets for the second one? Stick with the same format as the skills or you need to add a bullet and use a similar format to your work experience. It seems like you can extrapolate on what you do in the fraternity and maybe just kill the "welcome leader" since that sounds like you're just shaking hands with people.
  5. Interests: Get rid of "shotgun sports" this is just a dangerous thing to put on the resume, can be misinterpreted easily. Same with mobile devices. Snowboarding is just fine. Try to think of maybe one more interest a good BS one is just "trading stocks" or something to that effect and just have a fake portfolio on yahoo.
  6. Kill your classes that are not relevant... economics, and business writing are a waste.
  7. Looks like your font sizes change? Relevant coursework looks to be a font size higher than the rest of the text?
  8. Is the start up job done? Says Jan 2013?

Overall a significant improvement.

If you want to just ignore cut to the chase I would 1) sit down and think of more specific actionable bullets and 2) Separate school and real work experience still quite confusing when flipping through it.

 

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