Best Response
  • Remove relevant course work, these subjects look like core courses to your degree. "Quant subjects" is not descriptive. Low impact. I'd only add unique electives.
  • Consider just putting "Candidate 2017" for your Uni. People only really care to know when you are expected to graduate (to consider you for FT)
  • Remove your high school. You are in uni now. That's more relevant. Plus I'd assume that the Academic Entrance Award was probably for high school achievement.
  • All your professional life experience is in Dublin, Ireland. I wouldn't keep repeating it on the right side. I'd only use this format if there is variation. Otherwise, you are bringing un-due attention to the fact that you've never left the city your entire professional life.
  • Large Commercial Prop. Valco - "which were then included in final pitch" is weak impact. As is "Constructed graphs". At the very least say "Created presentation materials for X, outlining [strategic value / the story]"
  • Conditional formatting? How does that streamline a database of targets by 88%?
  • Be more specific than "researched and analyzed". Did you use DCF to compare intrinsic value? Some other methods? WACC analysis? SoTP?
  • "Selected" stocks screams of cherry picking. How did your whole portfolio do (or at least what you were responsible for)?
  • Personally, I prefer spelling out numbers less than 10. "after five months"; "over seven colleges"; "top three"
  • "Secured EUR3,500 in sponsorship"... Was that for you? Or did you help organize? What was the criteria?
  • Some of your %'s for impact are for metrics that sound iffy at best: 25% increase in likes? "social media presence" by 30%? At least be specific about language. Do you mean clicks? Impressions? Connections? (unique) Page views?
  • 1st year rep - I would say "top three of X". Top three of three is not impressive. Be clear.
  • Remove space after "All" in "All -Ireland musical instrument"
 

Thanks for your advice, much appreciated. I've probably removed too much information from my original resume just for privacy reasons and as a result the one i had posted was quite vague.

I've updated a new version now and hopefully using your advice it has improve it a whole lot.

I've added the quantitative subjects under relevant modules as I feel the course name Economics and Finance wouldn't justify the amount of maths we actually cover. Would I be wrong to assume this? Should I just scrap that all together?

I hope I've re-phrased some of the experience in a more legible fashion.

If you have any further criticism please let me know.

Once again your feedback is greatly appreciated, Thanks

 

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