Postgrad in New City
I searched for this but only really found posts about people who didn't know how to make new friends.
I’m moving to NYC for full-time after I graduate and while I’m not worried about meeting new people and making new friends (I already have a couple of friends there from different schools), all of my fraternity brothers will mostly end up in a particular major city in the South. Honestly I’ve always wanted to live in NYC and love the city but am starting to wonder whether I’d be happier moving to the same city in the South due to having my closest friends all there. I honestly can’t imagine not going through my early twenties with these guys since I’ve seen them everyday for the last four years. Does anyone else have experience with this?
A lot of people have this problem, you will have a lot of commitment with your job so probably will be distracted and will be okay after a while. You can always go back and see them when you go back, they may also move places too so it is not like staying where you are is going to solve anything
Definitely don't alter your career based on friends, you'll likely be too busy to live the way you've been used to for the start.
If you come to NYC, there are lots of social clubs and things with which to get involved. Plus, it's always solid to have buddies to visit elsewhere if you can get out for a weekend trip.
Don't live in the past. People come and go, and eventually they'll move on, change, and become different people than they used to be, and even your memories with them will fade over time. All you have are the memories, and even those will probably become some contorted, rosier version of the truth that makes you feel a little better when you're burned out from work.
Don't alter your goals or plans for anyone else.
Make a conscious effort to stay in touch with your existing friends. Call the ones you're really close with regularly. Keep the group chats going. You don't have to be in the same city to stay close with them if you make an effort. Visit them and make a plan when you do. They will be excited to see you when you're in town and it will make it better when you actually do get to spend time with them in some ways.
Invite them up to see you and make a plan when they come. Introduce them to your NYC group and show them the city.
Plan group weekends in locations between you guys. Ski trips, golf tournaments, whatever. Get a group, rent an airbnb, and make it a weekend.
You can always move closer to them later. Now is your time to be selfish and follow your ambition if you want to spend time in NYC. It will be much more difficult to do that when you are older.
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