Protecting Relationships

Hi all,

Long story, I have some strong relationships in my market which have taken a long time to cultivate. My boss doesn't seem to care who's relationships they are, and he routinely will cut me out on conversations with them. It bothers me, and it's very important to me that I'm not "cut out." Curious to hear if anyone else has dealt with this and how. Thanks.

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Comments (9)

Sep 14, 2021 - 9:19am

I can do that, but that just feels awkward….


Look, a lot of this is reciprocal.  If your contact is willing to cut you out that easily, then something else is going on or that person is an ass and isn't a "relationship" worth keeping.

  • Associate 2 in RE - Res
Sep 14, 2021 - 11:08am

It's less of an active cutting out from my contacts standpoint. As I said, it's my boss taking action, not my contact.

And to your "Why?" …because it's awkward. Being possessive over a relationship is inherently awkward. Further, to ask my contact to not act in their best interest by working with someone more senior in the company (assuming I'm fine with it) would be a unreasonable ask from my standpoint.

My question was more around addressing that with my boss, and I should have been more clear.

Sep 14, 2021 - 11:30am

Hm.  I guess the short response is that no one but you can answer for your feelings.

I wouldn't feel uncomfortable telling a coworker "hey, I put a lot of time and effort into cultivating this relationship for the firm, I'd like to be included when we speak with him/her."  I think that's a pretty mature and reasonable ask.  Especially since the obvious implication is that you won't put that time and effort in if someone is going to go behind your back, which is also fair.  Make the relationships and don't introduce them to your boss if they won't respect that boundary, or at least attempt to.

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Sep 14, 2021 - 10:07am

I can do that, but that just feels awkward….

Either you care enough to do something about it or you don't care enough and should stop complaining on the internet. 

Commercial Real Estate Developer

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Sep 14, 2021 - 6:58am

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