Here is some life advice. Hope you'll find it useful.

  1. There are plenty of ways to enter a pool. The stairs is not one of them.

  2. Stop talking about where you went to college.

  3. Don’t knock it ‘til you try it.

  4. If a street performer makes you stop walking, you owe him a buck.

  5. It’s okay to trade the possibility of your 80s and 90s for more guaranteed fun in your 20s and 30s.

  6. When entrusted with a secret, keep it.

  7. Never stay out after midnight three nights in a row … unless something really good comes up on the third night.

  8. When the bartender asks, you should already know what you want to drink.

  9. When in doubt, always kiss the girl.

  10. You only get one chance to notice a new haircut.

  11. A glass of wine with lunch will not ruin your day.

  12. Never park in front of a bar.

  13. Expect the seat in front of you to recline. Prepare accordingly.

  14. When a bartender buys you a round, tip double.

  15. Hold your heroes to a high standard.

  16. A suntan is earned, not bought.

  17. Never lie to your doctor.

  18. Staying angry is a waste of energy. Revenge can be a good way of getting over anger.

  19. If you are wittier than you are handsome, avoid loud clubs.

  20. Read more.

  21. Take a vacation from your cell phone, internet, and TV once a year.

  22. Don’t fill up on bread, no matter how good it is.

  23. A handshake beats an autograph.

  24. Don’t linger in the doorway. In or out.

  25. Call your mom.

  26. If you want to know what makes you unique, sit for a caricature.

  27. Never get your haircut the day of a special event.

  28. Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.

  29. Never eat lunch at your desk if you can avoid it.

  30. When you’re with new friends, don’t just talk about old friends.

If you have anymore to add feel free to comment below.

 

13 - no way never. I'm 6'4 will always confront a recliner, on my most recent flight back from New Orleans person in front of me kept trying to recline like 10 times in a row. I had to said excuse me ma'am i noticed you are trying to recline your seat, that banging noise you are hearing is my knees. She stopped.

Edit for the MS- she kept trying to recline the seat and hitting my knees repeatedly not realizing or not caring that she was slamming back in my knees.

 

I mean, yes I'm sure they get upset. When I firmly but politely explain I'm 6'4 and there is no room, they usually apologize. Who want to piss of someone my size at the end of the day. But that's why I try to fly Jet Blue whenever possible, it's just worth the extra money over the hassle. I don't WANT to be a dick.

Ha, I've seen these before! I thought these were actually banned from airplanes, but I have considered getting them. If all the above doesn't work 4-8 scotches and a xanax on a long flight work just fine, and then that person has to deal with my snoring.

 

Nice list! Thought it would be generic but I haven't seen many of these before.

Can anyone explain: 15. Hold your heroes to a high standard. 22. Don't fill up on bread, no matter how good it is. 27. Never get your haircut the day of a special event.

 

At risk of being mowed down, I'll give my own form of interpretation:

It all boils down to a lot of what's happening right now. People you look up to and your own decisions will have a lot of sway over your life. So, be cautious: Don't make excuses for people that you expect to do great things (15); Be unwilling to overindulge (22); don't underestimate the power a decision will have if it turns out to be a mistake (27).

 

Edit: Very literal interpretation.

15) Pretty straight forward I thought. If there is someone you admire you should expect the best out of them...otherwise they aren't really someone you admire. 22) You need to go to a top steak house. You will know immediately. (Personal favorite is Mastro's for bread) 27) If your haircut gets botched you cant fix it the day of. If you get your haircut short, having a few days gives you some time for it to grow back and look better.

...
 
  1. Don't eat too much fucking bread that comes out before your entree and look like a pussy who cant finish his meal.
Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne
 

No idea where to even begin in my quest to understand #1. Do I take it literally or figuratively or what? Either path I take, I just can't seem to comprehend.

Absolute truths don't exist... celebrated opinions do.
 

it's a sort of metaphor for risk taking. judging by this guy's post history, he's a college kid or recent college grad trying to make an impact on the forum, but has been posting lots of questions and general topics.

I'm betting this list was a regurgitation of something he saw somewhere else. I have a list of things I've thought of but they're not as pithy and memorable as some of these.

 

I'm all for mysterious quotes that can have multiple interpretations, adds more fun to the game. But #1 is just reaching too much, damn quote probably has more interpretations than Genesis 1:27.

Definitely a college kid.

Absolute truths don't exist... celebrated opinions do.
 

regarding #3, does this advice apply to homosexual experiences? also, follow-up question: re: #3 and homosexual experiences, have you ever taken your own advice?

"I'm talking about liquid. Rich enough to have your own jet. Rich enough not to waste time. Fifty, a hundred million dollars, buddy. A player. Or nothing. " -GG
 
the_gekko:

regarding #3, does this advice apply to homosexual experiences? also, follow-up question: re: #3 and homosexual experiences, have you ever taken your own advice?

I can see the quote applying to homosexual experiences. I'm not necessarily going to try it, but I won't knock it. However, what about pedophilia? Not going to try it and certainly will knock it.

I could think of a thousand similar things that I most definitely do not approve of that I wouldn't try. Unlike OP's Mom which I tried first before disapproving.

 
Passionate Investor:
Be mindful of what comes between you and the Earth. Always buy good shoes, tires, and sheets.

I was a little puzzled by this one...I don't usually sleep on a sheet sprawled on the sidewalk...unless I'm in a particularly homeless mood. Usually I at least have a bedframe and comforter. Also aren't there some seats and stuff between you and tires? What about the seat cushions?

 

-The best way to get the job is by proving to the interviewer that you don't need the job. -If you want to make a lot of money, you need to get into a role where you can point at a number and say confidently "I directly generated that much money." -Be as much of a whore in your 20's before you get married. Get it out of your system, then focus on becoming the best husband and father in the world. -There are three types of friendships: lifelong friendships, casual acquaintances, and temporary friendships of convenience. -Forgive, but never forget. -Health is the best wealth.

most importantly

-never be in a position where you can't walk away.

We're not lawyers. We're investment bankers. We didn't go to Harvard. We Went to Wharton!
 

I have to add this: Be nice even if others aren't. Even be more nice towards people who are unfortunate - remember that they are fighting their own battles and might need a hug, a helping hand or just a smile to cheer them up.

 
chubbybunny:
entrepreneurship is for sissies. It's either IBD or bust.
IBD is for sissies - Marine Corps / Navy SEAL was the standard in my family (this shit pays way better though). A family member of mine is an entrepreneur and turned out $600K+ in profits before even finishing college and is doing banking, well, I don't know why. I myself don't know why I'm bothering to go into banking....I guess, well shit, I just want to try it. You IVY kids really need to get out and learn about the world.....geniouses indeed
Get busy living
 

This is going to be my one serious post on this website:

At the end of the day the world is still correct in that it rewards entrepreneurial talent, or taking risk that pans out correctly: Google, Microsoft, etc. were all once startups, and today their founders have an obscene amount of wealth. The founders were not afraid to stray off the conventional path. The most successful people in the business world are not content to work at successful companies. They want to create the fucking successful company.

That being said, it is the thrill of the business idea that has to captivate me. A lot of people on this forum can twist their little penises into a knot about risk and reward and projected free cash flow in a start-up or whatever bullshit fundamental analysis they can string together, and I can bullshit better than most of them.

What is beautiful about entrepreneurship is that you can change the world by supplying a need to people who didn't know that need existed in the first place. You might even make the world a better place. I'm sorry, but charging a fee to some jackass while pulling off a transaction is nowhere near as high on the list of Shit That Matters, i.e. making a positive difference in the lives of people around you. Yes, maybe one day I'll stop being a hypocrite and break the golden shackles I have created for myself and maybe start my own hedge fund (as entrepreneurial as it gets in finance) or maybe just find a business I believe in and help it grow into something meaningful.

What separates America from the machine-like efficiency of the Asian academic system is that people are not afraid to take massive amounts of risk: Bill Gates was a Harvard-dropout. Matt Damon was a Harvard-dropout. Granted, there are plenty of successful Harvard graduates, but it's passion and luck and hard work that will make you 'successful,' not some business card you show to some brain-dead pussy on legs.

I am willing to bet that none of the kids that get an erection to the notion of working in IBD would drop out of Harvard. The one thing that pisses me off about America right now is the fact that so many people want to end up as doctors or lawyers or bankers: these are all service industries that just require some tolerance for bullshit. Very few kids and top universities want to take real risks that are intelligently thought out. Even things that have their roots in good causes, like TFA, just turn into a prestige circle-jerk. Even "Entrepreneurship" clubs at universities just turn into resume-building pit-stops that completely destroy the notion of starting out on your own.

In the end, I am patiently waiting for the day I can proudly call myself an entrepreneur. Hopefully that killer business idea comes before I get too attached to the notion of working in high finance.

 
gsduke:
I am willing to bet that none of the kids that get an erection to the notion of working in IBD would drop out of Harvard. The one thing that pisses me off about America right now is the fact that so many people want to end up as doctors or lawyers or bankers: these are all service industries that just require some tolerance for bullshit. Very few kids and top universities want to take real risks that are intelligently thought out. Even things that have their roots in good causes, like TFA, just turn into a prestige circle-jerk. Even "Entrepreneurship" clubs at universities just turn into resume-building pit-stops that completely destroy the notion of starting out on your own.

In the end, I am patiently waiting for the day I can proudly call myself an entrepreneur. Hopefully that killer business idea comes before I get too attached to the notion of working in high finance.

Really?

I think a lot of us generation Y folks saw all of the wealth that got created by the dot-com boom and the financial boom of the 1980s and 1990s. We also saw the bust- dot-com bust, real-estate bust, and financial bust that destroyed so much of it. We saw the wreckage and realized that so many of these huge businesses and a lot of that success was all just a facade.

So we're all for taking risks, but only risks we can afford to lose on. I don't think you can afford to drop out of college at age 21, and for every Bill Gates, there's at least one Ted Kaczynski and another twenty college dropouts with McJobs.

I think a good track for many entrepreneurs these days is this:

-Graduate college -Work in industry somewhere (not necessarily a bank) for five years so you've got some experience to fall back on and capital to be your own angel investor with. -Then start a business (without necessarily getting an MBA).

 

gsduke, If you want to drop out of college, chances are, you should have a very good reason for doing so. If I somehow don't run into a once in a lifetime opportunity or develop one myself during college, why should I risk losing everything for something that isn't there yet? Even you aren't willing to quit your college/job until you find the right time to do it. There's a lot to learn from entrepreneurship, but clearly it's not for everyone.

 
gsduke:
Fair enough, but please kill me if I spend the rest of my life doing more or less the same jackass shit that my unquestionably prestigious job entails.
I'll take your place if you like.....seriously, start sending work my way and I'll transition in. When you have a JOB you work for your boss, when you start a business, you work for EVERYONE.....but if you aren't already working on something that's taking off, never leave your job
Get busy living
 

What no one manages to factor in is the price of failure. For every Bill Gates there are a thousand kids who dropped out and there lives went down the toilet - no money, no girl, living at home with no future prospects.

 
monkeysama:
What no one manages to factor in is the price of failure. For every Bill Gates there are a thousand kids who dropped out and there lives went down the toilet - no money, no girl, living at home with no future prospects.

I have to disagree with this. Sure, there are a lot of people who tried and didn't make it rich. But I wouldn't call them failures, since at least they have balls and took a shot. Not to mention, I bet they learned a great deal (much more than an MBA program or analyst stint at an IB, in my opinion). And companies notice that, at least I think they do. If you come into an interview and can talk about your experiences running your own company, I'm sure you'll blow a lot of the other applicants out of the water -- it shows you will take risks, make sacrifices, have balls, are a go-getter, are passionate about business, willing to learn, etc. Anyway, just my two cents.

P.S. OP, thanks for posting this. I've been thinking a lot about entrepreneurship, in general, lately. So, this post was right on time.

 

well they clearly took the wrong risks. i'm glorifying intelligent risk-taking, not trying to quote a price on failure. and plus if those fucks are worth half of a cockroach's ass, they would try to find the next venture instead of moaning about their failure

 
gsduke:
well they clearly took the wrong risks. i'm glorifying intelligent risk-taking, not trying to quote a price on failure. and plus if those fucks are worth half of a cockroach's ass, they would try to find the next venture instead of moaning about their failure

You talk of "intelligent risk-taking" like it's the safe version of entrepreneurship. The wrong risks? Man, all the risks entrepreneurs take are basically risks of total failure. The thousands of people that failed where Gates succeeded took the very same risks, Gates just got lucky (ok, maybe not all luck). And for every entrepreneur and for every successful idea there are 9 failed ideas. My point is that you can't just glorify successful entrepreneurship, failure is just as integral to the concept "entrepreneurship". Just ask any real entrepreneur.

 

I lied and this might be my second serious post on this site.

PuppyBackedSecurities:
...romanticism imo... all romanticized, glorify the failed entrepreneur and ill believe you

Hahaha the concept of 'at least he tried' or noble defeat is really Western, and defending it seems like a cliche Philosophy 101 final. I won't try to defend that notion, because my industry is one with an attitude of 'well you blew up and lost a metric fuckton of money.' Most of the people reading a defense of that will point to that aforementioned notion. Wall Street is all about how much money have you made lately, with a few smarter people being able to accurately assess the viability of sustaining that.

The only crowd that the failed entrepreneur would appeal to is the people that subscribe to the notion that going out with a bang is far more interesting than languishing in mediocrity. In the end, in our brilliant lingo, they are the sucker on the losing end of a trade. Isn't there some value to the people who get Darwin-ed out though? At least the rest of us can learn something from their spectacular fuck-up, which makes for more efficiency.

What I find particularly interesting is that finance is the derivative of entrepreneurship, and we have the luxury of basically facilitating their transactions or betting on businesses we have a real opinion on. When finance mistakes itself for invention instead of innovation is where the industry gets into trouble: we are so convinced about our own bullshit that we do shit like LTCM/subprime mortgages/etc. (Hey we're creating market efficiency by levering up 100x and betting on convergence patterns in fixed-income securities! Hey somebody wants to buy the pieces of my shittastic CDO so obviously I can justify my existence and charge a fee, and now I'll lev the shit out of this process and earn more fees!)

So by staying in finance, I think we are romanticizing second-rate entrepreneurs that have the luxury of still being around. Now that REALLY sucks.

I apologize for this raging drunk rant; I am an Internet menace in this state.

 

The average case in business is failure. Entrepreneurship is a side-effect, an emergent property of a great deal of thought, planning, passion and hard work. If you are joining a start-up simply to be an entrepreneur, you will fail.

 

Part of the reason people want to work for an IBD is its signaling power. Remember job market signaling? Michael Spence?

Signaling helps solve the coordination problem. WHO has the best information and skills to do a particular job? Then there is motivation problem - the why part.

A stint in IBD signals the liquidity of the labor resource. That the resource (labor) is acceptable to some of the most COMPETITIVE minds (supposedly) in the business world as a highly productive resource. That the resource (labor) is not without choices (means valuable) and that the resource (labor) is attempting to reduce the bidder's search & information costs by signaling and that the resource (labor) will need least amount of policing and monitoring because the resource (labor) is used to working hard and in intense manner.

 

I went in VC thinking it would give me insight into how businesses develop and grow so that one day I can do the same with my own company. The longer I stay in the industry, the less attractive entrepreneurship sounds. What people are forgetting is entrepreneurship isn't make it or break it. If it were that way, I'd be much more inclined to do it (unless you're totally broke after a failed venture). You make it rich or you fail, and if you fail, get up and do it over again (whether it's another company if you can actually get funding or be in corporate).

But sometimes you DON'T KNOW. What people don't think about is there are many more cases of companies "in limbo." Their revenues are flat year over year, you barely break even, and because you're trying to be capital efficient you pay yourself and your employees below market. This goes on for 3 years, 5 years, 7 years... what do you do? Do you fold? It's still a viable business and you need to feed your family, but this is clearly not going anywhere. Do you have the courage to walk away from what you built and put significant amount of time and money into? That, I think, is the most frustrating position to be in.

 
CharmWithSubstance:

But sometimes you DON'T KNOW. What people don't think about is there are many more cases of companies "in limbo." Their revenues are flat year over year, you barely break even, and because you're trying to be capital efficient you pay yourself and your employees below market. This goes on for 3 years, 5 years, 7 years... what do you do? Do you fold? It's still a viable business and you need to feed your family, but this is clearly not going anywhere. Do you have the courage to walk away from what you built and put significant amount of time and money into? That, I think, is the most frustrating position to be in.

Very insightful and relevant... I personally know someone in this position, and it's hard to say what will happen. It must be incredibly hard to quit something that you invested so much time and effort into just because the business doesn't live up to expectations. If you aren't capital sufficient or you don't have peers who can support you through tough times, then I can see where the dilemma lies.

After reading through the one thread about Gladwell's articles, I've been reading a lot of his articles that pertain to some of the threads that have been coming up lately. http://gladwell.com/2008/2008_10_20_a_latebloomers.html - an article investigating artists who develop great art later than earlier, very similar to the entrepreneur's experience.

 
CharmWithSubstance:
I went in VC thinking it would give me insight into how businesses develop and grow so that one day I can do the same with my own company. The longer I stay in the industry, the less attractive entrepreneurship sounds. What people are forgetting is entrepreneurship isn't make it or break it. If it were that way, I'd be much more inclined to do it (unless you're totally broke after a failed venture). You make it rich or you fail, and if you fail, get up and do it over again (whether it's another company if you can actually get funding or be in corporate).

But sometimes you DON'T KNOW. What people don't think about is there are many more cases of companies "in limbo." Their revenues are flat year over year, you barely break even, and because you're trying to be capital efficient you pay yourself and your employees below market. This goes on for 3 years, 5 years, 7 years... what do you do? Do you fold? It's still a viable business and you need to feed your family, but this is clearly not going anywhere. Do you have the courage to walk away from what you built and put significant amount of time and money into? That, I think, is the most frustrating position to be in.

A lot of what you said seems to be geared towards mid to large businesses. I know several small business owners that never made it to be rich, but they never went broke. They pay themselves good and also pay a lot of their bills through the business. Also, guess what? They NEVER want to show a profit!

 

I can only speak from personal experience, but owning a company is much better. Yes, I went to Stanford (although rejected at HYP) and worked at a BB (although rejected at GS). I earn a lot more--and have a substantially greater net worth--than my other cohorts who did the typical IB>PE route, I enjoy my life and have a wonderful family and huge house, and was able to do a PhD and I'm still 31.

Why join a start-up? Start it. Don't have any money.

Investment banking is good for 1 year and no more if you can make it in your own gig. If not, it might finance might be a good option. But if you're like me and didn't go to a top-target and got rejected at GS then your chance of mediocrity is pretty high in the industry, so don't hang your hat on being a New York big shot. You'll be lucky if you can afford a 2000 SF flat at 40. That doesn't sound too inspiring too me.

If you want to work at a fund, start your own. If you're good, why not? If you suck, then you already know it by lingering doubts. Same with any business.

I rich, smarts, and totally in debt.
 

Midas, you are the man. I'm trying to picture you in your mask trying to sit up straight while angrily typing out responses and finally ending by falling asleep on top of your keyboard. Just an amusing image that came to me.

Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com
 
Pfalzer:
Midas, you are the man. I'm trying to picture you in your mask trying to sit up straight while angrily typing out responses and finally ending by falling asleep on top of your keyboard. Just an amusing image that came to me.

Midas never commented on this thread...

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 
Pfalzer:
Midas, you are the man. I'm trying to picture you in your mask trying to sit up straight while angrily typing out responses and finally ending by falling asleep on top of your keyboard. Just an amusing image that came to me.

I'm confused, is gsduke midas or did he just steal his icon and has a similar wordy writing style?

 
Pfalzer:
Midas, you are the man. I'm trying to picture you in your mask trying to sit up straight while angrily typing out responses and finally ending by falling asleep on top of your keyboard. Just an amusing image that came to me.

So Gsduke=Midas?

http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/crap-that-pisses-me-off#comment-3…

I see the same avatar pic bit there's different banana points and profile info. Is Midas leading a triple life now or has he used up an entire profile?

 

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If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford
 

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