Resume Critique: Let us try this again, shall we?

Clearly trying to make the title funny or ironic wasn't the wisest of moves, to say the least.

Anyways, I'm applying to some summer internships through TFA and wanted some opinions on how to make the resume pop. Any and all help is appreciated!

SB to dj for the reality check.

... I'll leave the MD picture up just for the heck of it.

http://www.razume.com/documents/21713

Comments (27)

Aug 26, 2011

Combination no homo/props on MR pic.

Aug 26, 2011

It might if:

your GPA didn't suck
your grad major didn't suck

3.2 from an Ivy is still a 3.2. Especially with those minors in there - don't you get an A just for showing up to those classes? Does that mean you had like a 2.0 in your Econ work, and that other crap pulled you up to a 3.2?

Aug 26, 2011

i did throw up though.

Aug 26, 2011

Higher level of Swahili proficiency preferred.

Aug 26, 2011

.

Aug 26, 2011

Major GPA in undergrad was a 3.0. Grad major, I don't have a choice. First semester and track murked my GPA, but hey... fuck can I do about it now lol. This is more of a "what can be changed or expanded on" in the resume. I've only got the cards I've been dealt, trying to sell it as though I have a royal flush.

Gracias.

@Midas, I had to even it out somehow.

Aug 26, 2011

Screams "I'm a URM" to me so you should be fine. Unless you are the only WASP in the world who did high jump in HS and got an African Studies degree while perusing a masters in Urban Education.

Aug 26, 2011
Cardinal:

Screams "I'm a URM" to me so you should be fine. Unless you are the only WASP in the world who did high jump in HS and got an African Studies degree while perusing a masters in Urban Education.

http://www.hark.com/clips/gjdjhcjphb-ding-ding-din...

djfiii:

3.2 from an Ivy

stop, pause there.....Harvard alumni network, dude, who the fuck CARES what your GPA is.

You're golden. Seriously. I had shitty grades from a state school and I got in, if you don't, you're retarded, sorry, that's how it is.

Aug 26, 2011

Disgusting how much lower the standards are for blacks. They really do get a free ride from guilt-ridden liberal whites.

Aug 26, 2011
Brady4MVP:

Disgusting how much lower the standards are for blacks. They really do get a free ride from guilt-ridden liberal whites.

someone..........................needs more cowbell

Aug 26, 2011
Brady4MVP:

Disgusting how much lower the standards are for blacks. They really do get a free ride from guilt-ridden liberal whites.

Shouldn't you be busy justifying your transition to a 500k hedge fund with your buddy?

Aug 26, 2011

Heh, you aren't going to squeak by the interviewers at MBB. They can smell bullshit a mile away. I'd be shocked if you even make it out of the first stack of resumes.

Ultimately all they care about is:
(1) Do you have some demonstrated quantitative ability? Econ says probably, 3.0 GPA says no.
(2) Can you think quickly on your feet? This would be demonstrated in 30 minutes with a case interview.
(3) Are you presentable / comfortable in front of clients?
(4) Do you have pedigree?

4 matters because they don't like to stress when explaining why they charge $1000 an hour for your services. It's a lot easier to milk an executive that went to Arizona State when you can boast a team of Harvard / Stanford grads. For some reason, that continues to impress the masses. You can skate on #4 if you're ROCK solid on 1-3, but not the other way around. You only get to slip mildly on 1-3 if you're an Ivy. With a 3.2 / 3.0 major, you slipped more than mildly my friend.

Aug 26, 2011

Well just so you're aware, the only reason I'm getting the master's in education is because I'm doing TFA, I wasn't particularly jumping for joy at the prospect of getting that degree lol.

And Damn Brady. Did I do something to you, bro? You seem quite upset for some reason. Wanna talk about it?

Anyways... For the summer internship, I'll be lumped in the pool of other TFA members, so I'm trying to separate myself from that pack. Once again, any pointers on the RESUME? Not anything else which of minimal assistance here.

For the point of clarity, I did High Jump in College, and got a minor in Africana studies.

Thanks for the assistance.

Aug 26, 2011

Heh, you're surprised at the condescending responses to a guy nick named "Better Than You" that posts a thread titled "Would this resume make you cream yourself"?

This forum is full of people that went to the top schools in the world, so if you come strong with that kind of arrogance you better actually come strong (i.e. NOT with a 3.0 in ECON rofl).

Although, I will say the references to free rides / racial assumptions are a bit over the line.

Aug 26, 2011
djfiii:

Heh, you're surprised at the condescending responses to a guy nick named "Better Than You" that posts a thread titled "Would this resume make you cream yourself"?

This forum is full of people that went to the top schools in the world, so if you come strong with that kind of arrogance you better actually come strong (i.e. NOT with a 3.0 in ECON rofl).

Although, I will say the references to free rides / racial assumptions are a bit over the line.

With the username I was trying to be ironic with the culture of the site. Seems to be quite douchebaggy, thought it was funny. Same with the title. Silly me though, I should have assumed this would happen lol. I'm a science teacher bro... you can be but so arrogant in that profession.

Edit
I did catch the CU thing after I posted, but thanks for looking out.

Aug 26, 2011

...edited to remove reference to specific ivy...

Aug 26, 2011

Sure, there is plenty of douchebaggery on this site, but that's the minority of the content. There are a lot of people on here with a lot of good advice / experiences. If you ask for it like a normal human being, you're going to get it. If you're just contributing to the douchebaggery, you're going to get treated that way. Irony isn't terribly easy to distinguish in written form - especially when you drop it in the middle of a bunch of assholes that do actually take themselves that seriously.

Aug 26, 2011
djfiii:

Irony isn't terribly easy to distinguish in written form

understatement!

Aug 26, 2011

SB for you good sir. Guess I'll try this again with a more serious tone. How naive of me to assume it wouldn't end this way.

Aug 26, 2011
Better.Than.You:

SB for you good sir. Guess I'll try this again with a more serious tone. How naive of me to assume it wouldn't end this way.

fair enough!

so the guy that suggested playing up the Varsity sport - spot on. They love that stuff.

Also, get rid of the proficiency in MS Office. That is assumed, and is not considered a skill, or an interest, or anything else that would justify even a partial bullet.

I like the rest of it. Here is a checklist of "gotchas" you can run through if you haven't already:

http://managementconsulted.com/consulting-resumes/...
Edit: actually, after x-referencing that list myself, I feel like your bullets are more "here's what I've done" and not "here's the impact of what I've done". For example, your first bullet under Physics Teacher says what you did (taught high school physics) AND describes the impact of what you did (raised performance from 12% to 86%). Try to incorporate more of that cause / effect type data.

Aug 26, 2011

I would highlight your Varsity sport more. I just helped my sister with a resume (she plays D1 tennis at a state school with a similar GPA) and it helped her get a decent internship this summer. If not for a huge family problem that hurt my and her jobs this summer, her resume would look great right now. But that's all they talked about with her, trust me it will be better. Everyone wants to think that they could be or know an athlete. I have friends on a few of the sports teams here at Duke, and whenever they are interviewed or just chatted up, it always goes to sports, their opinons on them, etc.

Honestly, a 3.2, athlete from an Ivy is good for applications. Regardless of race. I would be amazed if you didn't get a lot of interviews.

Also, the position of your GPA makes me think that your africana studies GPA is 3.2, not overall

Reality hits you hard, bro...

Aug 26, 2011

Thanks. How exactly would I play up the varsity sport though? I can't really throw it in work/other experience. And I can't think of enough things to say to even warrant descriptive bullets under it.

Aug 26, 2011

Are there any high jump competitions where you placed in a certain rank? Dunno, I'm not familiar with the sport. If it were Varsity running, maybe I'd say something like placed xxx in 100m sprint at national ABC event , or whatever distance you happen to focus on. If there's nothing like that worth adding, just leave it as is. Just having a varsity sport on there counts for a lot.

Aug 26, 2011

I mean... I was an animal in HS, nationally ranked, televised competitions, all that. But everybody in college was that and better lol, so all those highlights kind of went away... I would like to highlight the experience in college, but all the highlightable (sp?) experiences are from when I was 18 an uninjured.

Aug 26, 2011

Probably just leave as is then (the varsity sport piece). Focus on quantifying the results of what you've done in your work bullets. Don't just say what you did, but convince the reader that you had a measurable impact; that what you did mattered. Anyone with ivy pedigree can get a get gigs that look good to most people on paper. Consultants are trained to look for quick, concise, and measurable things. It is implied then, that they are trained to quickly disregard the irrelevant.

Example:
- Engaged in intensive professional development around core teacher competencies and principles

ok so what? I don't have any context to understand what you mean by "intensive". Since I work 16 hours a day, you and I probably have very different ideas about what that means. what are the core competencies? what do you mean you were "engaged" - were you critiquing the existing set of core competencies? were you defining new ones? were you measuring other teachers against some benchmark? how are core competencies different from "principles" (your wording implies some distinction)? How did you measure whether or not you were successful? etc. etc. I could rattle off 20 more questions about that one sentence.

that's one bullet out of about 20, so in my mind, I come across that one and immediately think "this kid has 1 page to impress me, and already 5% of what he's selling is bullshit". I keep reading, but if I hit one or two more, then 10% / 15% is bullshit and yours goes in the trash. Every word on your resume counts - you'll be in a rather large stack of other resumes that all came from ivies (or ivy equivalents). I'm not trying to be debbie downer, just pointing out the thought process that occurs when someone allocates 30 seconds to look at your resume.

You'll probably get interviews - you've got the varsity sport, the ivy name brand, and if I've guessed correctly, you aren't a regular white dude from New Hampshire, so like it or not, that plays in your favor. You speak another language, and while Swahili isn't exactly the most valuable 2nd language, it adds another layer of diversity.

Aug 26, 2011
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Aug 29, 2011