Resume Review Please

i think your resume is kind of empty. Could use some formatting work. Try to simplify your bullet points a bit - it's hard to follow on first read. Finally, since you'll have more real estate after condensing those bullet points, try maybe to expand on some of the activities a bit to cover some of the empty space.

what's a "technical peer"?

"Maintained efficient supplies"...sounds weird.

those were the only 2 comments that jumped out at me as odd and smelled a little too much like bull shit. if you are going to bull shit, at least make sure the task makes sense / it's believable. :)

overall, not bad.

good luck!

First of all I have to stay I laughed when I read your comment wallstreet, Thanks for the advice. As for youngmoney, I was thinking about redoing the formatting and I will work on that. I will also try to expand the activities like you suggested.

As for what is a technical peer, working with colleagues in central technology or IT is what I consider to be a technical peer.

Also I know the bullet points are kind of long, you want to be a specific as possible how you were involved and I think it conveys how much I understand what I did. I would just like your guys thoughts on that more.

Thanks again guys.

I'd redo the education section. Get rid of the Dual Degree line. Put your school first. Possibly combine the degrees into one line. No need to say GPA out of 4.0 (everyone knows that). Possible example below:

Rochester Institute of Technology, Rochester, New York Candidate for BBA in Finance and BS in Economics, Expected May 2010 GPA 3.6

Also, after your second job you have an extra space that is inconsistent w/ your M&T job.

Lastly, your experiences just sound extremely bland. At either of the jobs, is there a specific project you could mention that is somewhat interesting/shows who you are?

Hey guys, can you check out my updates. Thanks again!

http://razume.com/documents/6989

What's a BSBA? Your degree/major line is all over the place. What's your GPA doing up there? And which GPA is it? Major, cum, econ?

Go from - Rochester Institute of Technology BSBA, Finance; BA, Economics GPA: 3.6 etc...

To- E. Philips Saunders College of Business: Rochester Institute of Technology B.S.B.A. in Finance, B.A in Economics -Cumulative GPA: 3.6 -Some honor -Relevant coursework: Business Software Applications, Corporate Assets & Liabilities, Corporate Finance, Financial Accounting, Financial Modeling and Analysis, International Trade and Finance, New Venture Financing, Mathematical Economics, Managerial Economics, Monetary Analysis & Policy

Certainly don't give business and econ classes their own sections. Lose intermediate econ. Expect to get grilled on everything you can imagine if you list that many finance classes - you better be a rockstar, or learn how to fake it

You have activities under education and in their own section? wtf man

Let your bullets run further, it looks like they're hiding in the middle of that page. Give more spaces under your section headings - you're way too scrunched up now and seem inconsistent.

wtf is with the dashes after company names? that is useless and looks inconsistent. Plus, you didn't even properly align the locations. Are you kidding?

10% variance? That doesn't sound very impressive. If you tell me you're 10% over budget, I'm not impressed.

Lose the business services by M&T Bank - it is inconsistent and useless. Lose the webmaster by wholesaletrains - shouts geek. Go with something finance sounding, and hope no one realizes you sold model trains.

Worked directly with owners and ... & helped to develop cross-selling etc. => this line has too many words, no clear idea, and you use the word "and" twice and don't even use the same format. spell it out and be consistent about it

dont give participant after apics - that's just insulting yourself. you did something once and am passing it off as an activity? also, synchronize the dates by all the activities. Only capitalize your first interest. Put advanced sparring in parenthesis instead of with a colon. Also, don't you have a belt? That's the only way that's impressive/meaningful

Lot of work to do guy

Just to let you know, I just made this up tonight it is definitely an initial draft. This is what I have to show from procrastenating. I have 4 finals next week and an essay, so I decided to do this since it was on my mind. I definitely understand there is work to be done and thank you for your advice as I will get to work on it.

Thanks again

In regards to the way things are aligned; They are aligned in MS Word 2003 for me and I tried to use the format painter. Just to let you know it does look fine to me, just when I upload it, it moves. Not trying to waste your time, but thought you should know.

Hint: always submit application materials as PDFs so you don't have to worry about appearance issues.

Thanks for the advice, I will from now on.