Resume Review - Tear It Apart

What is your GPA?

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Dude, this is your resume??? I should be sucking on your dick. Gesus Khrist! I mean, currently I have a better resume, but not

Hmm, ok, I'd start with getting rid of some superfluous information, like at the end you list your interests. I think it's kind of cool, but the person looking over the resume doesn't care. Just ax it.

Second, I'd add in "accomplishments". Instead of saying, "performed commercial loan underwriting and presented findings" say something like, "underwrote $10 million in commercial real estate transactions, including 2 industrial properties, 1 multifamily property and 1 small office complex". Or, "presented findings to senior management in loan committees where we evaluated the transactions' risks in terms of the start-up company's risk and production goals." Do this for all the positions--even if you have to make rough estimates of your production or accomplishments.

For work experience header, just say "work experience." The "leadership" part is basically superfluous.

For computer skills, assuming it's true, make a point of emphasis that you are highly proficient in Excel and in real estate modeling (not that it usually matters, but older people tend to run these companies and they think it's super neat that young people have these Excel and Power Point abilities).

Finally, it's tough to say, but at some point you will move your education down to the bottom and make your work experience most prominent. And eventually--maybe even soon--I'd remove the superfluous legal externship. I might remove that and make a very robust write-up on your current firm. On the surface it may seem like you have a simple job to describe, but there are a lot of little things you do in the course of underwriting a deal--getting comps, spreading numbers, analyzing markets, etc.--that may not be apparent to everyone.

Oh yeah, also, there are synonymous terms for commercial credit analyst that doesn't scream to IB and PE shops that you are some schmuck. Don't lie, just use other acceptable industry terms, like "underwriting analyst" or "commercial underwriting generalist" or "portfolio underwriter" or "commercial real estate analyst".

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"8" under your most recent job should be spelled out: eight.