Ridiculous Email from VP sent to investment banking applicants (vulgar advice for investment banking applicants)

Someone posted a link to that site motivation university earlier. Looks like this guy beat you to it LOL.

This morning my brother who attends a target forwarded me an email sent to 2nd round interviewers by a middle market BB subject titled "Everything you want to know about the interview process." and the associate (or VP?) actually went on that website and compiled a list of advice he had. I paste it here in full

I'd like to invite you to join us at ***** to further discuss your qualifications and potentially working with our talented team. Please let me know if the following times and dates work for you:

deleted

We understand that during these economic times, you may be feeling very stressed out (and for good reason!) about everything that has happened, everything that is happening, and everything that will happen. Please take a moment to breathe and know that you all worked hard and many factors are out of your control. I've taken the pleasure of compiling a list of applicable quotes from MotivationUniversity.

As for some words of encouragement:

Don't get too worked up when you see your fellow classmates getting high finance positions before you. Chill out when you see some tech titan striking an $18+ Billion IPO. Sometimes what goes up will always come down:
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1540

For those of you thinking about lying/exaggerating on your apps:
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1479

Stay humble throughout. I can talk down to you, but not you to me:
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1527

On office politics: Once an asshole, always an asshole.
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1411

Just because your daddy isn't the CEO here doesn't mean you can't make it here:
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1461

During the interview, talk less, keep it short and to the point. I actually have shit to do:
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1138

After you're hired as a lowly (albeit very high paid) analyst shut up and listen to your elders. That's how you learn and move up in this industry:
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1562

After you're hired, you're expected to get shit done. Business comes first. THEN you get the money. THEN you get the women. THEN you get the sex:
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1478

IF you're hired as a trader here, leave your emotions at home and at home only:
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1148

If you don't literally hear the words "You failed", then you can assume that you haven't failed:
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1111

Don't be arrogant. No matter how smart you think you are, you will never be as experienced as those older than you:
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1285

Once hired, no shit talking in this firm. This isn't high school:
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1221

Teamwork, or get out:
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1277

Once you're hired, we expect each and every employee to accept responsibility for all their trades and all their clients:
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1126

During the interview if we ask you a tough question, be humble and simply say "I don't know." Hey, we were all rookies once. But don't try to fake your understanding. We're not dumb.
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1264

If you're completely stressed out from the process:
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1155

Stressing out if you'll be a fit or not a fit at all?
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1131

Don't over think things and don't go anal about small details:
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1377

And lastly, it takes 10 years of grindwork to be an overnight success:
http://motivation.uni.me/index.php?q=1436

Cheers and good luck.

...enjoy, WSO'ers!

 

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