Ridiculous resume

just sick.

wharton undergrad huntsman program, perfect 4.0 GPA
founded several non-profit organizations while in school
summer internships at Credit Suisse, Goldman Sachs, Bain Capital sankaty
Rhodes Scholar at Oxford

 

... and beats off to figure 7.9a of his calculus textbook.

Wall Street leaders now understand that they made a mistake, one born of their innocent and trusting nature. They trusted ordinary Americans to behave more responsibly than they themselves ever would, and these ordinary Americans betrayed their trust.
 
Beef:
... and beats off to figure 7.9a of his calculus textbook.

Come on... you gotta admit it has nice curves

Jack: They’re all former investment bankers who were laid off from that economic crisis that Nancy Pelosi caused. They have zero real world skills, but God they work hard. -30 Rock
 
IlliniProgrammer:
That's a decent start, but what sports does he play? What was his SAT score? How much money has he made in trading?

Resumes tend to ignore inconvenient info.

this resume belongs to a girl. and yes, the above poster is correct. she interned last summer at goldman sachs investment partners, formerly principal strategies, arguably the toughest group to get into.

 

So, again, what sports does she play, how does she interview, and how much money can she make the group she's interviewing for?

If her competition is a Rhinocerous and the Rhino can make the firm money but she can't, guess who a pragmatic manager would hire (Assuming he has steel reinforced floors and lots of hay)? Obviously, the assumption is that she probably can, but if she's up against someone with a strong track record (IE: my old roommate who invented a product and sold the rights to it to another BB for $11 million during his internship), she still needs a better track record to get the offer.

 

GSIP is not trading, it's a hedge fund.

I know for a fact that this person turned down Harvard undergrad, I don't think many people have done that. As for sports, she plays at the varsity level.

IlliniProgrammer, you're humiliating yourself by dissing her.

 
mango123:
Have you all looked through her website? It's pretty incredible. This girl is going to do something very significant one day (not that she already hasn't).

I think her accomplishments are pretty incredible. But outside of celebrities artists and telemarketers who need self-promotion, I don't know of any successful person who has a personal website. The most successful people I know are very private and her website strikes me as somewhat tacky (a la Tim Sykes).

 
TheKing:
Wow, biggest geek ever. Who gives a fuck. Seriously, who gives a fuck.

yes agreed 100%...this chick should be saving the world or something though, not messing around on excel all day

 
IlliniProgrammer:
PA:
he's trolling campus honors program. median SAT on 1600 scale was like 1300.
Were you in CHP at UIUC? I remember helping review some of the applications.

I think the requirement to become a James Scholar Freshman year is 1300, and there are thousands of James Scholars.

you claimed in your earlier post that U of I accepted 7000 out of 35K applicants, thus an acceptance rate of around 20%. But they actually accept around 60% of applicants.

 

"Obviously, the assumption is that she probably can, but if she's up against someone with a strong track record (IE: my old roommate who invented a product and sold the rights to it to another BB for $11 million during his internship), she still needs a better track record to get the offer."

really? banks usually try to claim that products developed when you are employed by them are their intellectual property. what exactly did he invent?

 

"Program with a mere 1550 SAT (relatively low for the trading floor); "

if you're talking about the out of 1600 sat, 1550 is not low by any stretch of the imagination.

and this girl has what it takes to be take as an intern or an analyst on pretty much any desk, provided there's a personality match.

 
Jimbo:
"Program with a mere 1550 SAT (relatively low for the trading floor); "

if you're talking about the out of 1600 sat, 1550 is not low by any stretch of the imagination.

and this girl has what it takes to be take as an intern or an analyst on pretty much any desk, provided there's a personality match.

i agree. since when was 1550 out of 1600 considered low on a BB trading desk? Maybe at DE Shaw or RenTech it might be on the lower end, but even then those firms are not going to rule you out for not getting a perfect score. IlliniProgrammer is grossly distorting the data to troll for his alma mater and the midwest.

She could get a job at basically any financial firm she wanted.

 
jjc1122:
[quote=JimboIlliniProgrammer is grossly distorting the data to troll for his alma mater and the midwest.

She could get a job at basically any financial firm she wanted.

Ok, ok, maybe I'm grossly exaggerating on Illinois. :D (I still think it's pretty ridiculous to say that 100 extremely smart people at school XYZ are smarter than 100 extremely smart people elsewhere.)

For the trading floor, most of the students in capital markets who reported SAT scores were reporting scores over 1550. Maybe there is a little bit of selection going on, but I don't think it's a stretch to say most people on the trading floor are pretty close to that range.

She could get a job at basically any financial firm she wanted.
Still disagree with that. Some firms only go for experienced hires.
 

This topic is sad. I'm not sure what's worse. People taking the time to nerdgasm over it or others getting angry over it. It doesn't really affect you either way (although I guess some people find it interesting).

 

you know what? good for her. she's clearly a very hard worker and smart.

it's too bad that the value of women is not based on how smart they are or what they do for a living... i can support myself, thank you very much. these women have low reproductive value in my eyes if they aren't attractive. I wouldn't care if a woman did cure cancer...i still wouldn't go near her with a 10 foot pole if she was busted

besides, the only way this girl could add real value to anything is by adding more ham to my sandwich

psh...hard-working women...

 

This whole thread is a multi-directional pissing contest. She's got a nice resume, good for her. Why does anyone really care unless they are trying to hire her.

Jack: They’re all former investment bankers who were laid off from that economic crisis that Nancy Pelosi caused. They have zero real world skills, but God they work hard. -30 Rock
 

Yeah I'd guess selection bias then, those who choose to report likely do so for a reason. I am pretty positive 1550 is not an average on the trading floor.

Jack: They’re all former investment bankers who were laid off from that economic crisis that Nancy Pelosi caused. They have zero real world skills, but God they work hard. -30 Rock
 
IlliniProgrammer:
framroze:
IlliniProgrammer - you sound really jealous
Not really. I know I'm smarter than her. UIUC grads are CLEARLY smarter than Ivy Leaguers.*

*:At least when it comes to cow tipping.

In all seriousness, my first response when someone says, "This is the ultimate XXXX" is to get REALLY skeptical.

it's the best finance resume i have seen from a recent college grad. even better than jed cairo.

 
IlliniProgrammer:
framroze:
IlliniProgrammer - you sound really jealous
Not really. I know I'm smarter than her. UIUC grads are CLEARLY smarter than Ivy Leaguers.*

*:At least when it comes to cow tipping.

In all seriousness, my first response when someone says, "This is the ultimate XXXX" is to get REALLY skeptical.

is it so hard to say that the person has pretty good stat/exp and just move on? you miserable piece of shit.

-------------------------------------------------- "Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' And if they would, I do NOT do that thing." -Dwight Schrute, "The Office"-
 
IlliniProgrammer:
framroze:
IlliniProgrammer - you sound really jealous
Not really. I know I'm smarter than her. UIUC grads are CLEARLY smarter than Ivy Leaguers.*

*:At least when it comes to cow tipping.

You're making yourself sound like a tool with a huge chip on his shoulder and an even bigger inferiority complex. Let it go.

 

Even better is that within a minute of looking at her resume (thanks to earlier poster for link), two formatting errors pop out at me like a sore thumb. Tsk tsk. Either that, or banking turns you into a detail drone...

 

I'd like to add, that in the frenzy of this thread I checked out this chick's website. She reminds me of someone I went to school with whose entire life was completely focused on becoming as impressive a piece of paper is is humanly possible. And honestly, it's not a happy existence. Yeah, maybe this chick is driven to be the best in every way possible, but I know the person that I knew would have given it all up to have a solid social life and to pull the occasional chick.

 
righton:
IllniProgrammer, you're skeptical? Based on what?
The fact that I've met a lot of other very bright people like her who got kicked out of the industry in the previous crash. Previous success doesn't have as strong of a correlation with future competence as you assume.
The girl obviously has an amazing resume and all doors open for the future. If anything, you should commemorate her hardwork and success. You just sound bitter and jealous.
You can call me bitter and jealous after you survive five rounds of layoffs and spend three years in industry all the while taking over the "more successful" grads' responsibilities after they are laid off. By that point, you will probably call me jaded instead, and I will say that you don't learn from other peoples' experiences. : D

The fact is that your success in industry- particularly during the secular bear market we're currently in- has everything to do with competence and much less to do with past success in academia. She PROBABLY will be very competent at the job she gets hired into. But we really don't know ALL that much more for her than we know for the typical UPenn grad. Competence is correlated with hard work and she seems to be able to demonstrate some of that, but that doesn't guarantee she'll be successful next year or the year after that.

 

IllniProgrammer:

Wait, you're saying competence is correlated with hard work, but not with past success in academia? Are you f-ing kidding me? Competence has A LOT to do with past success in academia, especially when one is able to become a Rhode Scholar.

Wow, you think you're a rock star because you were able to survive a bear market? I know hundreds of people who did the same and much more during the crisis. How many Rhode Scholars do you know?

Lastly, how can you compare her to a "typical UPenn grad" when she is clearly nothing of the sort. Have you seen her honors, internships, and initiatives? Do you seriously think she could achieve so much in such a short period of time, but still struggle with banking? Give me a break. Banking is extremely overrated and you know it.

 

there are about 5 perfect 4.0 GPA in a decently tough major grad from targets per year - most of them are probably going into academia but i guarantee unless they have ZERO personality (which is possible) they can get an IBD job at an elite boutique or a BB.

 
there are about 5 perfect 4.0 GPA in a decently tough major grad from targets per year - most of them are probably going into academia but i guarantee unless they have ZERO personality (which is possible) they can get an IBD job at an elite boutique or a BB.
That's a pretty fair statement. But again, it doesn't tell us how she'll be doing three years or five years down the line. I've seen things change for a lot of very accomplished people.

You guys can either see this as somebody beating you, or you can see it as a challenge.

 

I haven't read the last 30 or so posts in this thread, but I was reading earlier at work and this is what I think:

Illini, I have been on WSO for a while and enjoy reading this site. I don't post a whole heck of a lot but try to contribute where/when I can, but I do read daily and do appreciate a lot of the info you contribute here. But sometimes, you come across as quite arrogant and obnoxious, and this thread was littered with posts that just made me cringe. I realize you're successful, but there's no need to talk down to everyone -- all your posts generally have one thing in common, and that is condescension. It's quite annoying and totally unnecessary -- I think you could offer your opinions and thoughts in a better manner. Honestly, not trying to be a douche, but often times I find myself reading posts and thinking to myself, "who the fuck does guy think he is? Must be Steve Scwarzman..." and then realize, "Oh, it's just IlliniProgrammer. Again."

Anyway, I do appreciate your insight and experience, but you could certainly afford to tone it down a bit. Just my two cents.

 

Turns out I was correct, this did turn into another dutch rudder sesh.

For real guys, this debate has no answer, I see where IlliniProg is coming from with past success doesnt predict future success, but at the same time a large chunk of the hiring process is making that assumption.

You are right though, there is a small chance that they cannot perform in a business situation, but its a moot point.

http://convertyourbond.com Free market commentary and trading insights to help with interviews
 
IlliniProgrammer:
Slept on it and realized I've been a bit of an ass. The fact that I'm stubborn sometimes get me into trouble. :D

You guys win; I wish her the very best.

Never back down. Makes you look weak.

__________________________ if you ain't first, you last
 
IlliniProgrammer:
Slept on it and realized I've been a bit of an ass. The fact that I'm stubborn sometimes get me into trouble. :D

You guys win; I wish her the very best.

I'm glad you realized the error of your ways regarding this thread.

If you don't mind me asking, were you rejected by ivy league colleges back in high school? You seem to harbor some bitterness towards the east coast elites and are constantly trying to prove yourselves.

 
jjc1122:
If you don't mind me asking, were you rejected by ivy league colleges back in high school? You seem to harbor some bitterness towards the east coast elites and are constantly trying to prove yourselves.
I focused on the top CS programs- got in at CMU and Cornell, wait-listed at MIT, but I didn't have the money and didn't qualify for financial aid. I also felt really out-of-place on some of those campuses. After high school, I stopped accepting the whole notion that achieving X in the past is strongly correlated with how well you'll perform in the future- either way. I'd like to think this served me well after college and working in capital markets.

Do I wish I could have graduated from Wharton? Maybe- it would make a lot of things easier in finance. But I still think there are always pros and cons for every school. While we're at it, do you wish you had graduated from Wharton?

Never back down. Makes you look weak.
Well, if you're being an ass, you're being an ass. You admit it and move on.
 

The point is, she has a track record of being successful. If she was complacent, just sucked, she'd not have her 2nd-5th internship. You don't recruit people based on what they might do (i.e. some 2.3 from Boise State always has a chance of making the best trade ever, but not counting on it).

Also lets get off the UIUC high horse here. We all know you are only 3rd in the State of IL at best. UChi and NW are better schools (8 and 12 in USNews vs 39. You can throw a bias fit, but this is not 3-4 spots. You can't have 300-400% bias) Similarly, I don't know what the exact numbers are, but lets assume 50% of all people who worked in Finance got laid off in last 3 years. Makes you barely above average.

 

who cares about this over achiever, I would be much more impressed by a student that runs a start-up that actually employs people. A lot of NGO work by students is just BS to make themselves look better. This chick fits the generic nerdy asian stereotype so well. Id be more impressed with her if she banged out a few years worth of excel models and went to work for those NGO's she 'founded'

 
Guest1655:
who cares about this over achiever, I would be much more impressed by a student that runs a start-up that actually employs people. A lot of NGO work by students is just BS to make themselves look better. This chick fits the generic nerdy asian stereotype so well. Id be more impressed with her if she banged out a few years worth of excel models and went to work for those NGO's she 'founded'
Dude, you're making the same mistake I made.

I get your point- I've actually advocated something similar- but it's very difficult to do that without coming off as a jerk. It's like saying that your firm needed to get out of its positions and deleverage back in '07; even if there's a chance you're right, there's no way to actually "win" this argument. Either way, you either lose or everyone else see you tearing someone else down- they don't see your actual point.

Just say that you're happy for her, that it's tough to be 100% sure how she'll be doing five years from now, and move on.

 
IlliniProgrammer:
Guest1655:
who cares about this over achiever, I would be much more impressed by a student that runs a start-up that actually employs people. A lot of NGO work by students is just BS to make themselves look better. This chick fits the generic nerdy asian stereotype so well. Id be more impressed with her if she banged out a few years worth of excel models and went to work for those NGO's she 'founded'
Dude, you're making the same mistake I made.

I get your point- I've actually advocated something similar- but it's very difficult to do that without coming off as a jerk. It's like saying that your firm needed to get out of its positions and deleverage back in '07; even if there's a chance you're right, there's no way to actually "win" this argument. Either way, you either lose or everyone else see you tearing someone else down- they don't see your actual point.

Just say that you're happy for her, that it's tough to be 100% sure how she'll be doing five years from now, and move on.

Grow some balls dude, speak your mind. Does it matter what anyone else on the interwebs thinks of you. Chick is an over achiever, and I'm an asshole.. so what?

 
Guest1655:
Grow some balls dude, speak your mind. Does it matter what anyone else on the interwebs thinks of you. Chick is an over achiever, and I'm an asshole.. so what?

I've competed against people with backgrounds in the same ballpark as her for promotions et. al, so I think I've got them, but how are you furthering your agenda with this particular debate?

 
IlliniProgrammer:
Guest1655:
Grow some balls dude, speak your mind. Does it matter what anyone else on the interwebs thinks of you. Chick is an over achiever, and I'm an asshole.. so what?

I've competed against people with backgrounds in the same ballpark as her for promotions et. al, so I think I've got them, but how are you furthering your agenda with this particular debate?

define "same ballpark." I doubt there are people in your group who graduated from wharton with a 4.0, won a rhodes scholarship, and had multiple prestigious internships, while simultaneously managing non-profit groups.

 
Best Response
jjc1122:
define "same ballpark." I doubt there are people in your group who graduated from wharton with a 4.0, won a rhodes scholarship, and had multiple prestigious internships, while simultaneously managing non-profit groups.
Wharton grad; double-major in finance and EE. 3.7 GPA in Engineering (the rough equivalent of a 3.9+ in business given the typical curve for most engineering programs- nobody in engineering graduates north of a 3.8 or so.) Trying to see if I can find his resume, but I think he interned at the department of treasury the previous year and was in a number of scholars programs at Wharton, too.

I've got a lot of respect for him as an analytics guy and he has been pretty successful, but we were both extremely competitive and I got the promotions faster than he did. I still feel like I had to run circles around him to get any traction in the process.

 

Illiniprogrammer: You don't work in IBD but always chime in with unrelated things. No one cares what you or your friends have done. This is a very impressive resume. You bringing up what you think your accomplishments are compared to this woman is lame. Get worse.

 
lsu_dke:
Illiniprogrammer: You don't work in IBD but always chime in with unrelated things. No one cares what you or your friends have done. This is a very impressive resume. You bringing up what you think your accomplishments are compared to this woman is lame. Get worse.
Indeed, it is an impressive resume. I'm still totally missing your point and I think you've completely missed mine. That's why I've given up on this thread and am content to wish her the very best in her career.
 
IlliniProgrammer:
lsu_dke:
Illiniprogrammer: You don't work in IBD but always chime in with unrelated things. No one cares what you or your friends have done. This is a very impressive resume. You bringing up what you think your accomplishments are compared to this woman is lame. Get worse.
Indeed, it is an impressive resume. I'm still totally missing your point and I think you've completely missed mine. That's why I've given up on this thread and am content to wish her the very best in her career.

If your point is that her resume doesn't guarantee success then I understand. Your statement that you've seen that academic success is negatively correlated to success during layoff rounds, I can't get on board. What you don't seem to get is that you can say something like "Nice resume. Hopefully she'll do well for herself. Remember that resumes only get you in the door so if you run into her in an interview you've still got a shot." Instead, you act like her success is a detriment to her career.

 
Sickofassociate:
She's a little cuter in person. I fucked her a couple times.

She needs to add a special talent to her resume. I'll just spell it out for everyone.

She's a squirter.

Ouch, that one cut like a knife. I was going to post something equally jerky but I'm glad I didn't because it wouldn't have topped that. +1 for you

 

Just follow your own flow. Its impossible to "copy" someone else because the opportunities provided to each person is entirely different. If you look at that resume and deny the feeling of insecurity you're just lying.

But, if it helps you put things in perspective, its not like Kravis had to do all of this work just to get his first job.

Don't join a race that you can't win. F.e. joining a hedge fund to one person might mean having to get a undergrad in math, masters, then a PHD just to get into Citadel. Compare this with someone else who just knows the markets and doing all of that work is simply a waste of time.

She's obvsly just trying to say how long her di*k is.

 

You guys are hilarious (and mostly pathetic). I think I was a prestige whore at one point, but then I grew up. See the forest, gents.

Kudos to that girl, but I'll reserve my admiration for when she decides to dedicate her time to the stuff she's currently doing on the side (developmental stuff, microfinance etc.) rather than uses it as a gateway to the obvious BB-PE route or whatever.

 

Wow, Illini. It's got to be awful to just, I don't know, have lunch with you. I wonder where this need to play down other people's achievements (or more generally argue endlessly about anything) comes from.

 

I run a small business (real estate development). I'm curious what a 20-something intern from a big business knows about small business development in Lagos, Nigeria.

My thoughts: extremely impressive resume. Would I approach her to do business with me? Eh, probably not. My two best business partners didn't even go to college--they are experts in their field (real estate finance, local real estate markets, local real estate contacts, RE marketing, relationship building). Making money is very easy in America. Her resume suggests to me that she is more suited for academia, not business. Business doesn't require a superior intellect or inordinate work ethic--it requires realistic thinking, calculated risk, long-term planning, strategic thinking, research, knowledge, relationships, equity capital--none of these require Mensa-level intellect or Rhode Scholar accomplishments. But I think she'd make a great professor one day--it's just highly unlikely that I'd do business with her.

Array
 

come on. most of you young whipper snappers would jizz in your pants for a resume like this. admit it and then go clean yourself up. i would have slashed a few tires myself to put my name at the top of that resume back in the day. but i did what i did with what i had. life goes on. and when you gain experiences and grow some hair on your balls like those of us w/ 5+ year professional careers you realize that grades and prestige arent everything (im not saying dont strive for the best, but arent some of you exhausted from all this premature climbing?). my best hope for most of you is that you gain this type of perspective eventually. your lives will be much better for it.

 

that is pretty impressive. I don't get the point of why people are criticizing her - she decided to prioritize finance/professionalism over other aspects of her life and I respect the decision.

I wish I did less drugs and had a better GPA sometimes when looking back at college myself. Though I still ended up FO S&T at a BB and likely am in the same income level as she was when she started.

Also, I went to a certain top 15 non-Ivy league school which is way sweeter than Penn AND Illinois. So I win

 

I don't think anyone here is hating on the girl. I just think a number of us aren't that impressed by college resumes in general, particularly those of us who are several years removed from college.

I'm also just a little skeptical about the genuiness (as in motivating factor) of her not-for-profit work given that it appears it has been used to improve her resume and to leverage more job opportunities in a rather self-serving career path--PE, investment banking, etc. No one knows who I am, so I can say this without it being considered bragging--I gave 25% of my pre-tax income to charity last year, which is almost as much as she raised with her non-profits and their several dozen directors and members. It's not that impressive of a fund raising campaign, in all honesty.

I started a charity this year to raise $40,000 for a life saving surgery for my friend's father. It's also not the kind of thing I list on my resume. It's like the Pharisees in the Bible who stood up and prayed loudly in public in order to appear particularly holy and righteous. Something just doesn't seem right--or honorable--about using charity to leverage your resume in the same way it doesn't seem right for people to pray loudly in public in order to be honored for their righteousness.

Array
 
Virginia Tech 4ever:
I'm also just a little skeptical about the genuiness (as in motivating factor) of her not-for-profit work given that it appears it has been used to improve her resume and to leverage more job opportunities in a rather self-serving career path--PE, investment banking, etc. .
And how exactly did you get to that conclusion? I saw the opposite when I looked at her resume. She could easily have broken into a solid FT role after her undergrad studies, but she chose to do a MSc in Development Economics, which seems very related to the NFP work she's been doing. The fact that she's doing yet another Masters after that seems to me like a move to delay starting a FT career so she could spend more time on her NFP work.
 
Brown_Bateman:
Virginia Tech 4ever:
I'm also just a little skeptical about the genuiness (as in motivating factor) of her not-for-profit work given that it appears it has been used to improve her resume and to leverage more job opportunities in a rather self-serving career path--PE, investment banking, etc. .
And how exactly did you get to that conclusion? I saw the opposite when I looked at her resume. She could easily have broken into a solid FT role after her undergrad studies, but she chose to do a MSc in Development Economics, which seems very related to the NFP work she's been doing. The fact that she's doing yet another Masters after that seems to me like a move to delay starting a FT career so she could spend more time on her NFP work.

She just also happens to to be getting a MSc in FinEcon from there too. And what'd she spend her summers doing? Working at GSIP and Bain Capital. It's a not a wide leap to see how one could view her activities as entirely self-serving.

(Not to mention; who the hell would turn down a Rhodes Scholarship?)

 
And how exactly did you get to that conclusion? I saw the opposite when I looked at her resume. She could easily have broken into a solid FT role after her undergrad studies, but she chose to do a MSc in Development Economics, which seems very related to the NFP work she's been doing. The fact that she's doing yet another Masters after that seems to me like a move to delay starting a FT career so she could spend more time on her NFP work.

Look, I'm not saying it's definitely entirely self-serving or that she doesn't have genuine passion or concern, but it just seems...strange(?) that it appears--it SEEMS--her entire life age 18-22 has been for the purpose of crafting a stellar resume. But you're right--she's in several masters programs, one of which looks pretty relevant to not-for-profit work. Like I originally said, it appears as though the functioning of her brain/personality is well suited for academia. Perhaps she's decided to pursue that path. But at a fundamental level, she does not seem like the type of personality I'd be interested in doing for-profit business with. Then on the other hand, I could meet her in real life and like her a lot and find out that my on-paper impressions are fallacious in their entirety. I'm just giving you my impression as a "prospective employer" theoretically looking through resumes. It's a resume I'd stop, read, pause and toss.

Array
 

Lol, you guys are pathetic. Simply PATHETIC.

Her resume is impressive. I'm sure firms will take her OVER any of you BB IBD analysts. IBD isn't even that hard to get. Her credentials on the other hand is rare and amazing.

Stop kidding yourselves. Firms will take her over you pathetic, jealous mofos anyday.

Period.

 
The Shit:
Lol, you guys are pathetic. Simply PATHETIC.

Her resume is impressive. I'm sure firms will take her OVER any of you BB IBD analysts. IBD isn't even that hard to get. Her credentials on the other hand is rare and amazing.

Stop kidding yourselves. Firms will take her over you pathetic, jealous mofos anyday.

Period.

I agree that there's a lot of jealousy from people on this board, who could not accomplish 1/10th of what she did. So many haters out there. It's funny that their main retort is, "oh a good resume doesn't guarantee success" or loudly proclaim "I personally would not hire her to work for me!" Lol. Give me a break. I think people over at blackstone will have a different reaction.

 
The Shit:
^ I pitty you. Now go get a life.

Says one anonymous poster to another on an investment banking message board.

I think I know who you are now. Joyce told me about some boyfriend she had, but that she hadn't even kissed him yet. I guess you didn't take the news that I smashed your girl all that well. Sorry dude.

 

Good for her, I don't have that kind of personality to stay busy 20 hours a day, reading, studying, working, etc. But if that's what makes her happy so be it.

I couldn't relate to her on any level, though. I'd rather hang out with weedhead chicks that aren't doing anything with their life, but that's a personal preference.

 

hahahah what is funny is that she is "writing a novel"... when i read such CVs the first thing that comes to my mind is "from where does she find any time to do all this"... she volunteered like in a 100 places, founded NGOs... Penn must be really easy if you can do all that in your spare time... AND WRITE A NOVEL... hahahah

 

This thread is four months old, and way beyond the range of a raise-dead spell. Time to start shutting it down with troll posts before more people make posts they regret (like me)...

HI EVERYONE. FRIENDLY BOFH HERE.

REMEMBER ALL THOSE TIMES THAT MR. ROGERS TOLD YOU YOU WERE SPECIAL? WELL, HE WAS OBVIOUSLY WRONG. THIS GIRL IS BETTER THAN YOU. TIME TO GO UP TO THE 40TH FLOOR AND MAKE A RUN AT THE WINDOW.

IN ANY CASE, I AM THRILLED ABOUT THE FACT THAT MOST BANKS CARRY OUT A CRIMINAL BACKGROUND CHECK. JUST A FEW THINGS HERE [CLICKETY-CLICK] AND THERE [CLICKETY] AND -VOILA- SHE IS ON THE NO FLY LIST. GOOD LUCK GETTING TO YOUR INTERVIEWS NOW, *WITCH!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Ok, does everyone feel better, now?

 

Dicta in temporibus sed corrupti. Nemo provident eum iste aut est quas autem delectus. Tempora in perspiciatis hic commodi omnis qui et et.

 

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Career Advancement Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. New 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

April 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (86) $261
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (14) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (205) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (145) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

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From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

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