I'm only inserting the parts that I'm uncertain about.
"It is with great delight that I am applying for the finance Co-op position at Research in Motion. I can think of no better career than one that combines my passions for both finance and technology. Your firm revolutionized the mobile phone industry in 2003 by adding push email and other practical features to its mobile devices, and continues to pave the way in terms of innovation with exciting new products. Hence, in addition to being a unique learning experience, I believe that working for your company would be extremely pleasing." (Is the intro too liberal?)
"My fervent passion and eagerness to learn notwithstanding, I am confident that my skill set matches your needs perfectly."
[This is where I talk about my academic performance, extra-curricular activities, personal traits, etc. for about 10 lines.] Should I add that I’m working on some web development projects to demonstrate initiative even if they’re far from complete?
"I equally possess knowledge on your products and their various features." How could I elaborate on this? Is it even worth mentioning I know about their products?
"Blah blah call me"
Oh and it's not specified what sort of finance position it is... I'm assuming it's something related to corporate strategy or finance, and that there won't be that much modeling involved (unfortunately).
Thanks a lot for your input
too cheesy. don't talk about how great their firm is - they know that.
"extremely pleasing"? "fervent passion"? Are we reading Austen or something?
no clue who Austen is, but I figured I'd write something less bland for once, especially since it's a tech company and I'm assuming there's more livelihood to these people.. thanks bumpthethread, but what should I replace all that space with then?
Basically, if I were to receive this letter verbally fellating the company I work for, my gut reaction wouldn't be, "Oh wow, this guy sounds like he really knows his stuff and deserves to work here because he loves us." It's great to show passion for an industry, etc. but actions speak louder than words. Your internships, hobbies, etc. will show your passion. Use a cover letter to focus more on your skills and abilities and what YOU can do for THEM, not just what their internship program can offer you.
"My fervent passion and eagerness to learn notwithstanding, I am confident that my skill set matches your needs perfectly." I don't think "fervent passion" is good word usage for this case. Same with notwithstanding.
And please, don't put "it is with great delight" :(
(For me, at least, it conjures up images of a stuffy, tight-laced Edwardian lady dropping calling cards.)
-high gpa, participaton in numerous finance-related extra-curriculars, wsp modeling seminar, drive and relentless work ethic, currently developing several large-scale websites (still don't know if I should add the last part), very fast learner as demonstrated by ability to grasp modeling/advanced programming in a matter of months
I equally possess knowledge on your products and their various features, as well as your current standing in the industry vis-a-vis your competitors.
I'm fairly confident about the core of the letter.. I have about 10-15 lines for that section. I was just worried about the rest. Would you scrap the intro entirely and just get to what you can do for the company?
Thanks for your advice, I think it's about done other than that
it's RIMM... with two M's
you're absolutely right, except what do you expect me to say? "your company can't innovate for shit and I'm here to save the day"?
I was kind of hoping for some advice...
no, RIMM is the company's ticker. RIM is the acronym for Research in Motion
First few lines of the cover letter should always introduce yourself first. You know, the whole "I'm a sophomore at University Here majoring in Blah, and I would like to express my interest in Finance Position at Really Awesome Company." You can add in a few lines then about how you found the position/think it would be a fit for you, but don't linger on that topic so much and get to the juicy part (what you can do for them).
Btw, you should pick up a Jane Austen novel or two. At the very least everyone should read P&P.
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