Running of the bulls

MARKETS

• U.S. markets: The S&P 500 touched a record high, but failed to close there...more on that in a sec.
• Energy: Oil prices climbed to their highest in a week. As recently as last Thursday, U.S. crude was at an eight-week low.

STOCKS

This Bull Market Is Now the Longest Ever

It's been 3,453 days since this bull market rose from the ashes of the 2008 global financial crisis.

In that time, we discovered Hamilton and learned how to twerk (well, kinda)...but most importantly, we watched the S&P 500 more than quadruple—and notch a record high yesterday.

Some bull market stats:

• Profit on a $10,000 investment: $32,500.
• Tech stocks have accounted for 22% of the current bull market's ~325% gains. Apple alone has contributed 4.1%.
• Share of Americans invested in stocks: 55%, per an April poll from Gallup.

How'd we get here?

Some key drivers of this rally's staying power: a super-strong economy, stellar unemployment stats, and company profits growing at the fastest clip in nearly a decade.

We'll technically be in a bull market for as long as the S&P 500 goes without suffering a 20% drop...so what derails the bull's stampede? No one knows for sure, but Fed policy, the threat of a trade war, and general cyclical patterns could all send the market back down.

You knew this part was coming: the asterisks...

While this is the longest-ever bull market, it's not the hottest-ever. That title goes to the run from 1990 to 2000 (when the S&P climbed 417% in 3,452 days).

And this record's limited to the broad S&P 500 index. The narrower Dow, however, is only in its third-longest rally ever.

So who's celebrating with the bulls?

Alums of Lehman Brothers, believe it or not. Ex-employees are reportedly hosting a get-together in London next month to celebrate the 10-year anniversary of Lehman's collapse (which played a major role in triggering the global financial crisis).

• They're popping bottles, but...no one else is toasting. Some words British politicians used to describe the party? "Sickening," "disgraceful," and "in bad taste."

TECH

Slack Loads Up...Again

Yesterday, we profiled a few companies prepping to go public. But for other startups, like Slack, private life can also be very lucrative—the chat application just raised $427 million in a Series H. At this rate, it's going to start running out of letters...

What you need to know from this latest round:

• It was led by Dragoneer Investment Group and General Atlantic.
• Slack's now valued at $7.1 billion, up 40% from its previous round last September.

Mammoth numbers, for sure. But what's even crazier? This is par for the course in Silicon Valley in 2018.

• Investors completed 268 "mega-rounds" ($100 million or more) in the first seven months of 2018.
• A lot of the money is coming from East Asia: China's Tencent Holdings participated in 31 mega-rounds...Japan's SoftBank in 18.

What's going on? As VC Bill Gurley told the NYT: "If your competitor is going to raise $150 million and you want to be conservative and only raise $20 million, you're going to get run over."

BIZ IN DC

When Business Meets Politics

The Amtrak from D.C. to New York must be crowded this week. Two major Washington measures—which could directly impact the business world—were just teed up.

First, the EPA unveiled its "Affordable Clean Energy" plan aimed at 1) weakening carbon dioxide limits at coal-fired power plants and 2) putting most of the regulatory burden on individual states.

• Why it matters: It's another swipe at Obama's Clean Power Plan. The new proposal would impose much more lenient emissions caps on power plants.

Then, Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-MA.) announced a new legislative package that would ban members of Congress and White House staff from owning individual stocks.

• Why it matters: Warren's plan would replace those stocks with government-managed investment accounts. It's just one of dozens of proposals in the package, which Warren dubbed the Anti-Corruption and Public Integrity Act. The goal is to eliminate "the influence of money in federal government."

INTERNATIONAL

Talking Sovereign Wealth Funds

When we say "Norway," what do you think of?

Fjords? Kygo? Sandefjordsmør? All reasonable, but don't sleep on its $1 trillion sovereign wealth fund, the world's largest. Get this: it owns 1.4% of all listed shares worldwide.

So how'd it do in Q2? Just okay.

• It returned 1.8%—0.2 percentage points short of the index it measures itself against.
• The biggest contributor to its stock returns was...any guesses? Amazon, followed by Apple and Royal Dutch Shell.

This is the part of the story when Elon Musk makes an appearance.

As of the end of 2017, the Norwegian fund owned 0.48% of Tesla (worth ~$253 million). And in March, it voted against Elon Musk receiving a $2.6 billion payout.

The fund's deputy CEO on Elon's take-private plan:

• "We don't have a view on that."
• He continued: "We want to be invested in companies that make money."

INVESTING

JPMorgan Pulls a Robinhood

Starting next week, JPMorgan (+0.61%) is rolling out a free digital investing service called You Invest.

You Invest will target millennials and new investors with free/discounted trades, portfolio-building tools, and access to JPM's top-of-the-line equities research.

• How do you get it? All 47 million JPM mobile banking app/website users will get 100 free trades their first year, and Chase Private Client customers get unlimited free trades.

Yep, that's the same JPMorgan that charged $24.95 for online trades just last year. CEO Jamie Dimon's inspiration for the reversal? Amazon Prime, with its free perks for users willing to pay a $119 annual membership fee.

Zoom out: Retail investing has gotten more competitive than your annual family Monopoly game, with free trading apps like Robinhood pushing old-school players like E*TRADE into an intense price war.

So where might JPM have an advantage? It's the biggest U.S. bank...plus it's already used in half of American households.

CONSUMER GOODS

Animal Crackers: Now Cage-Free

Responding to complaints from PETA and other animal rights activists, Nabisco's parent Mondelez (-0.61%) is introducing redesigned boxes for its animal crackers. Since 1902, the animals on the boxes had been displayed in cages. But now? They're free to graze anywhere they choose.

We might as well add some animal cracker facts, right? Nabisco's animal crackers are baked in its Fair Lawn, NJ plant. And the most recent addition to the family was the koala, added in 2002 to celebrate the 100th anniversary of the product.

WHAT ELSE IS BREWING

• Former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen accepted a plea deal yesterday to charges including campaign finance violations and fraud. Around the same time, 2016 Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort was found guilty on eight counts of fraud.
• Facebook said it took down hundreds of pages, groups, and accounts originating in Iran and Russia for "coordinated inauthentic behavior."
• Uber hired Nelson Chai, a Wall St. vet, as CFO. It's always nice to have one before you IPO.
• Kohl's (+1.74%) and TJX (+4.74%) posted strong quarters in more good news for retailers.
• Serta Simmons, a legacy mattress company, will merge with direct-to-consumer mattress startup Tuft & Needle.
• United Airlines (+0.52%) will begin charging travelers extra for seats near the front of the plane, joining American and Delta in the practice.

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