*Satire* Wrestler Shot Dead After Kid Enters Ring

Kamchowder's picture
Rank: Gorilla | banana points 622

Does not really relate to finance, but I just read an article detailing how a wrestler was shot dead after a kid entered the cage.

Beloved two-time WWE champion Big Show was reportedly shot dead after the emergency response team at the Indiana Farmers Coliseum made a split-second decision to take out the nearly 400-pound dominant male wrestler, who is said to have appeared aggravated and hostile, causing those present to fear for the small child's safety.
"Last night, after determining he posed a clear threat to a young boy who had entered the steel cage, we chose to end the life of one of our wrestlers," said WWE spokesperson Chris Bellitti, who added that the security guards who opened fire had followed protocol, assessing the body language and vocalizations of the 45-year-old wrestler to evaluate the danger he presented. "It is a tragedy anytime something like this happens, but luckily we can say a child is alive today thanks to the swift and appropriate measures taken by our WWE staff."


This was shocking to me. I don't know the exact circumstances regarding the situation, but I believe that it was a bit extreme to kill a person just like an animal. Anyways, below is another quote from the WWE and from the boy's mother.

Despite his reputation, WWE representatives insisted the wrestler would never intentionally hurt a child, though they acknowledged he likely interpreted the shouts and flashing cameras of onlookers as a threat, which would have increased the likelihood of a deadly tantrum.
The boy's mother, Lynn Marshall, who said she and her family had enjoyed going to see the WWE's wrestlers for years, held back tears as she recalled seeing her defenseless son face-to-face in the steel cage with a hulking behemoth ten times his size.


I think a lot of blame can go around, especially to the kid's mother for not watching her son (and teaching her son common sense) and to the designers of the cage. Also, I think that it is troubling that this did not really hit the news cycle and that people cared more about a death of an ape (which is sad nevertheless).
Do you guys think that it was appropriate for the wrestler to be killed? Why or why not? Who should get blamed?

Edit I didn't realize the article was satire...

Comments (10)

Best Response
Jun 19, 2017

RIP Harambe

    • 4
Jun 19, 2017

The Onion is my favorite news network as well.

Jun 19, 2017

Just checked Snopes...I fell for fake news...

Jun 19, 2017
Jun 19, 2017

I want to know how you read this without realizing it's satire.

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Jun 19, 2017

To answer the question, we will need to start playing "Where is my mind." But really, idk how I missed the satire. Must of been due to food coma

    • 1
Jun 19, 2017

I can't decide what's funnier: the article or the fact that OP thought it was real.

Jun 19, 2017

Grade A trolling!

Aug 9, 2017
Kamchowder:

Edit I didn't realize the article was satire...

I'm dying right now ahhhaahha

Aug 9, 2017