You make it clear you are interested in getting to know a girl more and you invite her lunch.
She says she is busy that day and that whole week so we should reschedule.
I invite her out to coffee and she accepts but she brings her friend along without telling me beforehand.
What would you do?
I called her out on her bullshit and now she is angry at me and lies about having a bf.
Is all hope with this girl gone?
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Finish your drink and accept she's not interested
depends on your circumstance... do you have to be near each other, e.g. do you work together or in nearby buildings? if yes, then she might just politely be trying to blow you off so you can still work together/avoid awkwardness if you run into each other ...
if there is no social overlap, i would just take it as a sign she is not interested and move on
wait, the friend is a girl right?
if so i think shes interested, but ur being wayyy to forward, ease up
yeah she brought a girl with her.
Why?
If she was interested in me then I have massively cocked up...
I lol'd "massively cocked up" Im not sure what that means.
This is just my assumptions; shes interested but for some reason she doesn't want to give you any ideas like this is a "date". just dipping her feet to get a feel. Youre probably coming off too strong or something like that.
No offense bro, but you seem like a beta male. Just giving you tough love, one monkey to another. Why the fuck would you take a girl out to lunch/dinner on a first date? First dates should be casual and light; meals can be misinterpreted in a number of ways, and the dynamic just isn't that great for a first date. Always do drinks or if you want to get more creative, some sort of physical activity or hobby that is fun and allows you to showcase a different side of you that she may not know. Moreover, she indirectly let you know that she's not interested by saying that she is busy not just that entire day but for the WHOLE week. Ok; this should be an automatic sign of rejection, and you should've moved on. If a woman is really interested in a man, she will MAKE TIME. Then, instead of having some pride, you get into bitch mode and ask her out again but this time for coffee. Huh? Coffee? That's what I drink when I need a caffeine injection to stay awake during the day or to have a casual chit chat with a guy friend. It is not what I'm gonna be doing with a girl on a date. The girl accepts, not because she likes you, but because she realized that you couldn't take a hint; hence, she accepts the coffee "date" to get you off her back. In the final process of emasculation and friendzoning, she brings along a friend without informing you. That's how little respect she has for you as a MAN. What do you do? You cut her off and don't talk to her again unless you absolutely have to (i.e, work). Learn from this lesson to grow and to evolve into an alpha male.
this is pretty good. damn i thought she was interested. LOL
I would just clarify that coffee is ok if the first date is from online dating/app dating. Agreed that if you already know the person you might as well do something interesting. But with online dating, you don't REALLY know what the other person looks like, nor does she know what you look like, so a coffee date limits the downside by letting either person get out in under 30 minutes.
I respectfully disagree with you on this one.
I do tons of online dating in NYC and have NEVER done coffee. Here's why. Online dating is essentially a woman's market. They pretty much have all the power in terms of selection since due to sheer quantity and ease, men will swipe right/indicate interest in virtually any girl who's reasonably attractive. Women can thus be really picky, moreso online than in the "real world." A decent looking woman will be bombarded with potential suitors and will be selective on who she decides to actually go out with. Thus, if a woman likes you back and agrees to meet up with you in person, you are halfway there. You know for a fact that she is physically attracted to you and likes your overall profile/vibe. Now do most people look better in pictures than real life? Yes, but the difference isn't usually that drastic. So once there is a match, and you set up a date, your objective is to be fun and to physically and emotionally escalate. Otherwise, there is a pretty good chance you're going to get friendzoned because she sees you as the "nice guy" rather than as a romantic sexual partner. Given this dynamic at work, coffee for a first date will only go against that objective. There is no influence of alcohol, the environment is too warm and cozy, with the chances of creating sexual tension being fairly low. If the date isn't going well or she turns out to look a lot worse than the pictures, you can always bounce after just one drink. Make up an excuse, pick up the tab, and GTFO.
Of course, my online dating experience is limited to NYC, where women are much more adventurous and open. In the South, perhaps the women there are far more conservative because they are Jesus freaks holding out for a man of faith.
Exactly. Look OP, the rule of thumb is: ''If you have to force it, it is not meant to be.'' If she's into you, she'll invite you.
You better move on.
Since I'm in a good mood today, let me share a pro-tip with you. Whenever I have to make a decision concerning a female, I first go take a shower and jerk-off. 99.9% of the time after I do this, it restores my rationality and I realize that I don't need the b*tch at all,
Edit: Nvm
We are both postgraduate students and so we are both really busy
A bunch of glass half empty people on here. She brought another chick? That means she wants to party. You should have tossed the Starbucks, blown off the rest of the day and hit up the nearest champagne bar in the City. Get fucked up. Pick up some blow and get the three way going til sunrise. Beta is backing off and accepting defeat. True alpha is bagging both of them while alternating body shots of tequila and lines the length of a legal pad and performing acts of carnal pleasure that is sure to get you a guaranteed place in the depth of hell.
Or she was blowing you off. Hard to tell...
POWER MOVE
It depends on one thing: dick size. If OP has a 9'' iguana, then yea, he'd automatically think of banging them both. However, if he's working with a 3'' hobbit door knob (which he probably is since he clearly has no game), then he better move-on as she is not interested.
not sure if this is great advice, but if you are gonna pursue this, OP ask her on another "date" and tell her to bring her friend again. let us know what happens! =D
Dingdong08 was actually being sarcastic. Yeah it could be hard to pick up on this stuff on an online forum.
no, i was giving my own advice. =D Yeah of course, we are all assuming, since we don't know the whole situation. But I thought your assumptions were pretty good.
Two chick's at the same time
Double team opportunity! Victory! Oh wait, I guess you failed?
Give the kid a break, will ya? If you continue down this path, I might have to buy up and shut down the production of Viagra and Cialis manufacturers. That'll teach ya.
We are both postgraduate students and she had three assignments that week in which I asked her out for lunch. I thought that she was not into me because she was busy but she got back to me later and asked me if we could reschedule.
I called her out on her bullshit about bringing her friend along on the coffee date without telling me and not being honest about seeing me just as a friend. Because that is just rude.
She really really hates me now telling me to never message her again and she claims she told me she had a bf which happens to be a compete lie. She never mentioned a bf.
We first met a couple of days before I asked her out and on both occasions we met, we had really amazing conversations. She seemed genuinely interested in me and asked me loads of personal questions. I felt a connection.
I do not "like" her but I want to sleep with her. I was thinking about pretending like nothing happened, building some major kino and then asking her out again. Because the thing is when I called her out on her bullshit, I acted like if it was to help her for the future so I dont come across as bitter. Plus I dont come across as a doormat and it makes me seem more manly that I am not afraid to put people back in their place.
This isn't complicated. Just don't contact her again, and if she keeps texting you, she's interested. Women won't initiate contact unless they like you or need something.
This 100%. Just walk away and if she's interested you'll land her, if not you'll quit wasting your time. She's not special, there are 100 more like her I promise.
The girl had little interest but not zero. If it was zero she would have stopped responding or simply not shown up. By bringing along her friend she gave you a huge shit test. To convert that scenario to something beneficial would require A+ game and a fair amount of jedi mind tricks. If that was me I would have ignored the girl and shown a lot of interest in her friend...
So basically completely the opposite of what I did than lol
Sounds like you crashed and burned my friend. My condolences. I'd stop initiating any sort of contact with her and see if she reaches out to you again. Lots of fish in the sea though, prep your bait and start reeling them in.
Ah, the Jedi Mind Fuck. That's a very advanced techniques for these young Padawan learners. Fear for their safety I would.
Interesting perspectives here... As a man in NYC, regardless of real life or online, I think us men are in total control BC we are dwarfed in #s by women. It's the worst kept secret that most women come to NYC to find an alpha partner, they tolerate the 50k jobs and roommates while trying desperately to find a real man among boys. The real kicker is when you're over 30, you've proven that you can hack NYC financially and competitively and mid 20s women fawn.
The coffee date thing is true, should always do something involving alcohol 1st date and never on a Friday or weekend.
There are more single women across ALL age groups, but if you look at just the below age 35 group, there are still more single men than women in NYC.
Where is that stat? Ratio is almost 2:1 women:men from what I've heard throughout my years.
Just not a buyer that there are more single men than women under 35.
I have to agree you are pretty beta. The fact that she brought a friend means that you fucking creeped her out, to the point where she feared for her safety. You are Friend Zoned, or even something much, much worse.
Look man. I got this advice from an old sage black man; a real Morgan Freeman type. Years ago I was playing poker on a Saturday morning in the smokey backroom of a downtown laundromat. A buddy of mine was talking about about a similar situation he had with a girl at the time, and much like this thread everyone seemed to have a strong opinion on how he should handle the situation. The wiry, white-hair sage slammed the table and yelled in a raspy voice, "Bullshit! It's all bulshit!" The table turned silent and looked at the old manwho folded his cards and shook his head. Then he said something I will never, ever forget.
"The only way out of the friend zone is to fuck her friend."
Hope that helps.
Trust me , she did not bring her friend along because she was creeped out.
Do you think she brought her for a 3 way?
She was either creeped out or she wanted to make it obvious that you guys are just friends. Either way, you're not f*cking her. And if you are not getting the dick wet, you might as well be dreaming of unicorns.
I would frame this more broadly and say that the only way out of the friendzone is to show her that you are sexually desired by other girls that are at least as attractive as her
"The only way out of the friend zone is to fuck her friend."
This is the best thing I've read on WSO in a very long time- truly some sage advice.
I'm just a messenger. But the news is good! There is hope for friend zoned guys everywhere!
It was done before it started. She agreed to get coffee with you to be nice. She brought her friend to make sure you didn't get the wrong idea.
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