Should a cover letter come across kind of douchey?

I've been looking at my past cover letters and I'm noticing how big of a pussy I sound like. I know that HR does not read 99% of al cover letters, but should I come across as blunt and semi-douchey to avoid sounding like everyone else's cover letter? More than likely overreacting to my past writing but it's astoundingly horrible - any cover letter advice is appreciated.

 

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