So how much abuse is too much?

earthwalker7's picture
Rank: Neanderthal | 3,679

Quick question .... how much abuse do you guys think is too much?
Where would you draw the line?

Not being a snowflake here -worked in finance a long time, so I know people's behavior can be poor and it's accepted industry-wide.
And of course, coming in to finance, there's plenty of expectation of this, as well as long hours and hard times.
We give up our holidays, anniversaries and birthdays, work weekends and nights, which is par for the course.

But then there's the verbal abuse - dished out incessantly by people who have the right to fire you, so you can't cold clock them upside the head like they deserve.

What I'm trying to figure out is where does one draw the line on threats and verbal abuse.
That is, despite the pay, and despite the prestige, where do you look at a yelling/threatening boss and say "shove it dude, there's other firms on the street."

And is there a way to defuse a situation / train a sociopath to behave?

Can one say something during his next tantrum like "Hey, I know you're trying to get this critical thing done, but please consider I'll work even harder when not being threatened and yelled at constantly."

Comments (4)

Most Helpful
Apr 16, 2019

Bump - very keen to hear the response of others.

I worked for an employer for a while that demolished me psychologically: I lost weight, lost my confidence, lost enthusiasm for work. Used to go home and weep and then struggle to get to sleep. Ended up resorting to sleeping pills just to make sure I at least felt like I was getting enough hours in.

I talked to the guy (CEO of the shop) multiple times, but nothing ever much seemed to change. These exchanges were always very genteel and professional, done in private, one-on-one, with him nodding pseudo-sympathetically, commiserating with my experience, etc and then ending the conversation saying I just needed to "tough it out" a little longer.

I eventually decided enough was enough and resigned. My line in the sand: as soon as it starts affecting your ability to be "you," diminishes your desire to apply yourself and learn, and begins to spill into your life outside of work. Always try talking with the person first of all (as you've suggested), but if that doesn't work, begin looking elsewhere and try to cut as soon as possible.

    • 3
Apr 18, 2019

A friend of mine was an analyst at a top BB in his second year, received top bucket first year bonus and was apparently well respected by peers except for a couple of VPs.
One VP repeatedly yelled at him for some minor issues regarding data room setup over three to four days. He quit in the following weeks, went to a competing BB and then to a MM PE and is now working on a sellside with that very VP, who did not make SVP or Director yet. Probably awkward now.

Apr 16, 2019

That's crazy. I assume they're now peers rather than Analyst/VP? Did he have any idea why those few VPs took a disliking to him?

Apr 18, 2019
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