Some advice from any rags to riches successes?

Hello all,

  Thank you kindly for lending me your attention for a short time today. Certainly, to give your time to anybody is one of the biggest forms of respect an individual can provide another... Do please read my post here, and if you feel like you have anything, encouragement, guidance, support, etc. don't postpone from blessing me with the experience life provides us in due time. 

  My name is Nathan Priest, I am 31, and I live in North County San Diego, CA... To be honest, I am at a standstill in my life, where I have reached a level of "lost to the point of no return..." My finances are shot down, likewise my credit. My personal resume boasts of a choppy skilled labor apprentice background, and no formal education as of yet... My passion is in the Finance Industry, with aspirations of being a professional investor, either as a private portfolio manager, or working for a firm. So far, I have done fairly well investing my own funds, leaning heavily on ETF Equitys as my primary vehicle. I spend my days reading charts and I absolutely love it. Just thinking about these huge banking magnates gives me a sense of childlike euphoria when I imagine the professionalism one must compose their selves in at all times, while truly having an erudite comprehension of the business at hand. The breadth of knowledge and mastery of the industry is totally enthralling to me. At times it is overwhelming and I can't help but feel as though my tiny understanding of the world around me would never be in league to even polish the shoes of anybody in that caliper. 

  Not to overindulge in my sentiments, nor become a brown noser, but this is simply expression of my views and respectful acknowledgment for their superior intellectual capabilities. 

  My background wasn't pleasant, as I ended up in prison 2 times already, only to be found and chosen by the Lord, and used as a vessel for his work and agenda here on Earth... An Earth that is rapidly coming into some tremendous changes which nobody would have believed would be taking place ever not long ago... I have thus far ceased from any criminal behavior, and embracing those humble gifts bestowed on me by our Heavenly Father, as he sees fit, in his due time. 

  Honestly, I am an extremely intelligent and highly ambitious individual, far above the norm, so everybody that meets me does tell me. Not one individual have I met in my life that didn't make it known to me that I am a different breed of personality, one that the world could certainly benefit from cultivating.more of. That this is very great to hear, is not disputed, however, it leaves me wondering why in the heck am I in such a horrendous position in my life, living each day in survival mode and extreme stress, if I am of such a brilliant mentality? Only recently did I endeavor to be given discernment as for the reasonings behind my lifes predicament. 

  Simply put, the Lord did use my youthful enthusiasms to his workings. Indeed in my younger days, I used to boast internally how I was more than willing to sacrifice my own self for the greater good of mankind and buffer the extreme level of global suffering which presides as a commonplace here on our globe. Never would I ever have been able to see with the perspective I have gained without having lost every semblance of a life I once held onto. Not one individual remains who even thinks of me occasionally, certainly nobody would even realize I was missing should that ever be the case. (Trust me, it is a very real possibility for anybody living as a transient anywhere, but that is a subject for a later journal entry...) So, in a nutshell, it's not looking good for me, but I have gained an insight into the spiritual realms which I'm quite certain maybe a handful of us have ever been exposed to. Through not having any choice but to be quite alone, at times when I absolutely did not want that at all, I've almost hit a point several times when my isolation was so extreme I should have lost it, quite frankly... It is because of these high levels of stress and losing all control over my desired direction in life, that I had to surrender my entire being to the will of the universe. In the beginning, it is difficult because your mind is still in denial, waiting for things to just fade back into the way they "used to be,", the way we imagined they're "supposed to be."  It has been said, "The fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself." Believe it or not, as much as I want to disagree with this statement, the truth is that we are resilient beings, and very adaptable to boot. Insofar as I can see, there's not really anyway for me to change my circumstances using the tools that worked for me in the past. (Finding labor gigs on craigslist is about the only way I found work before) I am enrolling myself in an online program to obtain my BA in Finance (Emphasis: Investing), while at the same time actively managing my current live account with Interactive Brokers. (Liq, val. ~$3500). I've been sending every dime I scrape together towards my portfolio, although I have been working tirelessly on my new project which I hope is able to both help our society gain a new perspective, which is much needed for our morality, as well as possibly generate some small amount of charitable contributions in aiding the expanding and enhancing the Weekly Journal. 

  Therein leaves me with the more specific area of this posting, which is to reach out to this community and see if anybody can offer me any guidance on how to best achieve the realization of this Weekly Journal I wish to produce, investment and/or any general life advice or support you can see as a benefit. My most sincere apologies for the melancholy vibe here, but help wont come unless you ask for it. 

 Thank you very much for your time,

  Nathan M Priest