Best Response

Oh my... this could be so much better

Starting from the top... OK, your GPA won't get you laughed off everywhere, but your coursework tells me very little that I didn't know already from "majoring in finance"

It looks like everyone else's! You have the luxury of room to expound on things you've done. Since you don't have a 4.0 from Harvard or Stanford that you can use to get someone's attention, discuss something, anything, that will get and hold the reviewer's interest. In it's current state, it wouldn't last 5 seconds and I would have already dumped you from the get-go.

My high school English teacher beat into my head to avoid passive language.... your resume is full of passive language... you assisted and observed and initiated and exposed to... Zzzzzz.... asleep already.

If (a big if) you made it to a phone screen or face-to-face, your interviewer will ask you "tell me about a project you did doing ...." Just jump ahead and put it in there now! If you put in "due diligence", I already know that you didn't do the whole deal yourself... Don't add waffle and weezle words. Give me a short (to the point) story that illustrates what you did!

o Due Diligence and Portfolio Monitoring I did initial research and fact checking to generate TPS reports. In one deal, I found the CEO's address was Attica Prison. This saved the company $1.3 billion.

Oh, and the "pursuance of a pilot's license" thing... Just put down "flying." Maybe you'll hit a pilot (like me!) but I'm not sure what you are actually "pursuancing"

You may want to consider a mini-cover letter before the education... Talk about interests and skills. None of this "looking for a job to grow my potential" crap. Something more like, "I enjoy detail work and bringing order from chaos"

Remember, you have 3-5 seconds to sell me or you're going to the shredder.

Cheers,

Grizzled

 

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