Swole15's Guide to Getting Yoked

Strap in, it's about to get weird. You might be thinking to yourself, swole15, what makes you qualified to tell others how to exercise? Calm your tits string bean, I'm about to tell you. Born large and fast, dominated HS football, signed a letter of intent to play linebacker at a decent program, got kicked off the team after two years for being a drunk, switched to powerlifting, broke some world records, now a ripped cube monkey.

I get asked all the time, swole15, what should I be doing in the gym? I don't know Gabe Lewis, what the fuck are your goals? 9 times out of 10 I get something like "I want to be stronger and bigger, but not like grossly big." Yea, no shit dude. Your 3 sets a week of preacher curls aren't going to turn you into Ronnie Coleman. So I usually make them some pretty basic plan with some very important points and you monkeys are lucky enough to get it too. The workouts are three times a week and take about 45 minutes. It goes like this:

Test your squat, bench, and deadlift maxes before you start the program. Youtube the movements for correct form first. You can do leg press if you can't squat but if you aren't injured man up and squat. That shits boosts hormones like you wouldn't believe. Once you have your maxes take 90% and it and that is your new training max. Any percentages you see is of your training max, not your tested max. Obviously warm up before you get into the main sets.

Week 1:

Monday:
Squat 3x3 70%, 80%, 90%
Leg Press 3x10
GHR 3x10
Calf Raise 4x10
Abs 4x15

Wednesday:
Bench 3x3 70%, 80%, 90%
Chest Fly 4x10
Rear Delts 3x12
Front Raise 3x10
Lateral Raise 3x10
French Press 8x8

Friday:
Deadlift 3x3 70%, 80%, 90%
Good Mornings 3x10
Seated Rows 3x10
Lat Pulldown 3x10
Bicep Curls 5x10
Obliques 4x15

Weeks 2-4 are the same for the assistance exercises but for the main lifts (Squat, Bench, Deadlift) the percentages and reps change. Week 2 goes to 3x2 and 72.5%, 82,5%, 92,5%. Week 3 goes to 3x3-2-1 and 75%, 85%, 95%. Week 4 goes to 3x5 and 40%, 50%, 60%. Week 4 is a deload week and is extremely important. For week 4 drop assistance sets to 2. Same reps. If you were able to to complete all required sets for weeks 1-3, add 5lbs to your working max for bench and 10lbs for your working max for squat and deadlift. Repeat,

Now for the most important part, on your top (heaviest) set of the workout for the three main lifts, do as many reps as possible. This is where you build the size and strength. You don't always have to do the last set AMRAP but aim for at least once a week. Some of you might recognize this workout as a modified version of Jim Wendler's 5-3-1. The PDF is easily found online for free and is worth checking out.

Good luck to all. I will try to answer any questions I get if they aren't too retarded.

 
Best Response

I would advocate higher volume in your one size fits most training program. I think people will say "I want to get bigger and stronger" but in actuality they care waaaay more about getting bigger and improving their aesthetic, hence they should using more hypertrophy based training protocols.

Qualification: Competed in one natural competition, placed 5th.

 

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