Thank you, Mom and Dad

I recently got accepted into a nice program for IB recruiting, but was worried about the hours in IB, and started having a slight panic attack about if I made the right career and college decisions.  However, I quickly realized something.

My dad is a doctor and an immigrant.  He came to this country with nothing, and worked at one of the worst hospitals in NYC for his residency, still being able to keep his marriage stable and happy in fact.  He is now extremely wealthy and healthy, but he worked 20 hours days and 100 hour weeks too.  And that was for something much lower-paid, and probably even more stressful, considering human life would be on the line at times (although a lot of residencies are paperwork as well).

My mom, who doesn't even work as a doctor (she sacrificed a lot to raise us and I am thankful every day for it), finished her MD while she was PREGNANT with me.  She had considered making things easier for herself and had that happened I would not be here today.  She chose to work harder for me, not for herself.

This is sort of a disjointed post, but this really helps me put things into perspective.  2 years of grueling work isn't going to destroy me if I don't let it, and my parents endured a lot more with a lot less financial security or promise of success later on.  I can still workout,  I can still have a mild social life, and even if I flame out, I won't be in a bad position at all.

I'm not afraid of banking, or any career path, and I'm not going to focus on the future for my anxieties anymore.  I am too concerned with what was and what will be, and I am not focusing on the present.

I wish I was less of a bitch so I could tell my Mom and Dad to my face just how much I love them.

Thank you,

Mom and Dad

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Comments (20)

Most Helpful
Jul 26, 2021 - 7:53pm

Tell em. It feels good. I tell my parents all the time. They both grew up in tough families with bad fathers in some of the more dying parts of this country but still made something amazing of themselves. I love telling them how fucking proud I am to be their son, moreso than anything else. They deserve to know.

Dayman?
  • 5
Funniest
Jul 26, 2021 - 10:04pm

My dad cheated on his then-fiancé with my mom who he met at work, and they're still together.  Thanks for throwing your life away to bust a nut dad, if not I wouldn't be here!

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Jul 26, 2021 - 10:20pm

Comparisons with the 'boomer' generation doesn't really work.

The period between 1950 and 2000 was quite literally the greatest period of wealth creation in American history. Our generation (broadly millennial) has not and will not be benefiting from the same tailwind. 

Working 'hard' in the year 2021 doesn't mean anything and is far from a sure-fire way to wealth creation. Like the markets, generating meaningful wealth in 2021 will require much more risk-tolerance than it did a generation ago. 

Jul 26, 2021 - 10:52pm

1. He's 17 or 18 which means his parents are probably too young to be baby boomers

2. His parents are immigrants from (presumably) poorer countries, not your granddaddy who raised a family working at the old Ford plant

Jul 28, 2021 - 11:14pm

Takes more risk to create wealth now than it did for prior generations?  This is doesn't compute for anyone who's not far removed from their family coming to the country before we had an enormous social safety net.  By modern standards, I've taken a lot of risk to get where I'm at, which is on track to generate real wealth.  By comparison, my grandfather immigrated here w/out speaking the language, no guarantee of anything outside of opportunity, less than $100 to his name, and no ability to go back home or correspond w/ his family outside of mail.  

My path was a helluva lot safer. 

I come from down in the valley, where mister when you're young, they bring you up to do like your daddy done

  • 2
Jul 26, 2021 - 10:21pm

You have to live each day as if it was your last. If you want to thank them, do it. Do it now. By email or text or anything.

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Jul 27, 2021 - 6:07am

Man tf up and call them up or meet for a dinner. It feels liberating!

Come from very similar background, but parent's haven't "made it big" in financial terms cause they focused on creating best opportunities to me and my brother (good schools etc.). As a sign of appreciation I bought a rental unit for them so they have some extra money when they choose to retire. Only at this point I managed tell how I appreciate what they did for us. 

Jul 27, 2021 - 11:15pm

It does feel good. I'm finally in a financial position where I have enough surplus I can really have fun with it. I just gave my cousin a nice wedding gift, it honestly wasn't much money to me, but he and his fiance are teachers and it meant so much to him. It's so nice sharing the love, can't wait till I can treat my parents to a nice dinner. 

Jul 27, 2021 - 8:19am

Good thread. Call your mama.

Never discuss with idiots, first they drag you at their level, then they beat you with experience.

Jul 27, 2021 - 11:50am

Solow123

I wish I was less of a bitch so I could tell my Mom and Dad to my face just how much I love them.

Stop being a bitch and do it then. You won't always have the chance, and until you lose a parent, you have no idea how things left unsaid will haunt you. 

  • 2
Jul 28, 2021 - 11:26pm

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"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

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