The great girl friend debate
As a first year analyst (or second year even) is it better to have a girl friend, or to fly solo?
Having a girl friend can add all sorts of hassle and pain to an already over-booked life. I watched a first year analyst work till 4 am on a Saturday only to be confronted by a drunk, angry, girl friend as he was leaving work. He then had to spend an hour or two calming her down etc.
Cons: GFs can be a pain in the ass on top of working 120 hours a week
That being said, nothing makes life better than consistent, hopefully good, sex. Working 100+ hours a week doesn't exactly leave a lot of time to go out womanizing, so it seems like if you want to get laid consistently as an analyst, you better wife up.
Pros: If you have a GF, you're the only one getting laid when all the analysts go home at 2am every night.
Thoughts? Is it worth it to deal with the extra hassle, or should analysts accept this will be a dry-spell for 2 years or so?
Go out Saturday nites and spend Sunday recovering at work.
This is really an artificial debate, no? If you have a serious girlfriend, you're probably not asking a bunch of anonymous online trolls if you should dump her because of the 'hassle'.
This; thread is over. This thread is the equivalent of asking a guy blondes or brunettes? Keep your anal retentiveness to banking and just live your life.
Is it actually possible to have a relationship as an Analyst?
I'm actually wondering this myself. Seriously, first/second year analysts: what are your thoughts on this?
Oh my goodness. Yes, it's totally possible and fairly easy, as long as you're not dating a psychopath.
I deal with the exact same thing (sans "drunk") on a regular basis. Weekdays are the worst. You get home at 2:00 in the morning, and instead of quietly sneaking into bed with a peaceful angel already fast asleep, you have to deal with devil incarnate who has made sure that she is still awake the moment you walk through the door. Her arms are crossed together and she is looking extremely pissed. Alas, by the time she finally calms down, you have lost two precious hours of sleep and waking up in the morning is going to be extra painful.
Long distance.
I know a couple analysts who have long distance relationships with college girlfriends who are 1-2 yrs their junior, finishing up their degrees and planning to move out to NYC post-graduation. It can be miserable at times when buddies are hitting on chicks at bars and you are stuck in the corner with nothing to do, or worse talking to the 'fat friend.' But at the same time, the college sweathearts aren't around to get upset at the bad hours and only come out on free weekends, etc... and become infatuated with being treated to the 'high life' when they do. And you get it in on a consistent 1-2times/mo. which is better than a lot of bachelor analysts can say for themselves. One VP I know credits his wife still being in college while he was going through the 2yr stint for the relationship surviving.
pretty sure most of you people don't have to worry about this
When I was an analyst most guys wanted a gf. Women tend to be good listeners and will listen to you vent, obvs getting laid (Pulling good looking chicks in NYC is a hustle), great to just pick up a phone and have a girl to hang out with.
Now that im on the buyside, my schedule is a bit more predictable and I get out a bit earlier...back to hustling the streets haha
Just in terms of relationship experience, I have to say that if your sole/leading pro for having a girlfriend during the analyst years is "good, consistent sex," methinks the answer to your question is an immediate "Fly solo." There's MUCH more to a relationship than good, consistent sex...and a relationship while you're under analyst stress NEEDS to be strong to even justify its existence.
Fap
I would think the ultimate goal here is to have your cake and eat it too.
It sounds like the guys with gfs aren't getting a ton of weekday sex anyways and have to deal with the fallout as well. Ideally you would want a girl that is cool, that understands your schedule and isn't going to bitch at you about never being around when you get home from work at 2am.
That leads me to the 'cake'. I would think that NYC would be the perfect breeding ground for NSA sex. Just find a 6 or a 7 that has a busy life that would be willing to pick up the phone at 2am for a booty call. Clearly that isn't going to be a breeze, but if you can find one that isn't looking to settle down but that would also like to have a romp a few times a week with no awkwardness or huge bar tabs then eat that cake!
I would think the best bet would be to talk to you buddies at other banks and find a female that they work with/near that they can introduce you to...and you do the same. While they might not be magazine cover worthy, you know they have a similar schedule and are more likely to appreciate the efficiency of booty calls rather than relationships.
Regards
Just one data point, but even the guys doing long-distance in my office were much, much happier than the single dudes, angry phone calls and all.
Unless I am in a really solid relationship (say 5+ years), I would not consider having a gf. One of my buddies turned down a McKinsey offer because he couldn't get his hands off a hot Italian gf.
I thought this was a girl space friend thread, but it's not. Disappointment :(
If you have a sane and intelligent girlfriend this is a non-issue. She would be understanding of the situation and work with you instead of being pissed at you for working late. If you have a girlfriend that complains about you working late or on weekends then you have a shitty girlfriend who cares more about herself than your relationship. Find wife material or don't bother, this is a given whether you are an "analyst" or not.
That's about par for the course for this forum's readership... trying to rationalize why it is worse to have a girlfriend than to not have one. Hats off to you guys for making such a difficult choice. Big sacrifices there... GFs are the worst.
A few years ago a friend, who was a senior, was dating a 1st year analyst in NYC after starting to date when she was a junior/him a senior. After he started full time, she would visit him every so often, but the "visits" often took the form of bringing him food and picking up laundry. I think they maybe had one or two real weekends together. She broke it off after he decided to blow the rest of his vacation days for the year on a week-long trip to Vegas with some friends instead of spending more time with her.
I never figured out how a 1st year, on the job for only a few months at a pretty prestigious firm, managed to get a week off for vacation.
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