The Street Before Christmas 2009

THE STREET BEFORE CHRISTMAS 2009

'Twas the Street before Christmas 2009
And compared to last year, everything's fine!
Deal flow is up and bonuses back
Barack's spending money like a sailor on crack.

Main Street is bitching 'cause they're out of work
But they bailed us out, so now who's the jerk?
No business loans; no jobs we're creating
We used our Fed funds to bolster prop trading

So settle in kids, and go grab a beer
Let's have a few laughs at what happened this year
There's lots of material to make the jokes hearty
And let's face it – you don't have a bank Christmas party

Raj got himself busted for trading inside
Allen Stanford learned he could run but not hide
The market roared back, even the barkers
and Ping Jiang found a use for old Magic Markers (ewww...)

Taibbi exposed greed, collusion, and fraud
And other fun stuff at 85 Broad
Blankfein was made to look like a jerk
but cut Lloyd some slack, he's doing God's work!

And what can be said of Helicopter Ben?
He debased the dollar against Euro and Yen
He managed the Fed with policies most queer
And somehow became Time's Man of the Year

Geithner confirmed with tax law offended
Big Auto went bust and TARP was extended
Most can't wait for Timmy's term to expire
Yet another affirmative action hire

Aleksey Vayner may have lost his crown
To the newest Wall Street wannabe clown
With his fake resume he went out with a bang
I could only be speaking of one Jeffrey Chiang

No one can say what's in store for next year
But no matter what, one thing is clear
I'm busting my ass and pulling out all the stops
'Cuz all I can think of are my exit ops

It used to be cool to say you're a banker
Now people get pissed and call you a wanker
It's no fun dealing with this populist rage
But at least I'm not working for minimum wage