Transfer out of Wharton for Duke
This is my first time posting on any forum so I apologize in advance if I do anything wrong. I'm a second semester Freshman at the Wharton School and am not enjoying my experience thus far. I'm a pretty social guy, the kind of person people say "knows everyone," but am not enjoying Wharton/Penn and don't feel like it is a positive experience and is instead something I have been trying to make the best of. I don't feel genuinely connected to anyone here and I am not a part of any solid communities (I have applied to so many different Wharton clubs, and although I usually make the final rounds I am only involved in two clubs). I'm sick of feeling isolated, like people only want to either "work hard" or "play hard" and don't actually care about building the life-long relationships I was expecting to build in college. To put all of this in a better context, I am struggling academically with a 3.25 GPA last semester and couldn't attend rush events (and therefore didn't receive a bid) due to some highly personal reasons but am interested in Fall Rush and have been told to participate in it.
From what I've read it sounds like people have a generally more positive college experience at Duke instead of Wharton. I'm from the South and had an incredible group of friends in high school that I miss more than anything. I understand that most people here are extremely career-driven and I really respect that, but at this point I just want to be happy, and, for me, happiness comes from the people I surround myself with and the relationships derived from them.
I guess what I'm asking is will Duke be the school I'm expecting it to be, more social and slightly less academic with high friendliness and more of the popularized "college experience" or should I just stay at Wharton, be average academically, and most likely not enjoy the rest of my time here? I wouldn't be posting on here if I didn't truly feel desperate and unhappy. I am an extremely proactive person and I have tried everything I can think of to make Wharton/Penn a more positive experience, I'm very solution-oriented and right now I feel that transferring is my only solution to my current unhappiness.
Thank you all so much
Grow up
Dude, fuck off.
Ignore him. No experience with Duke or Wharton, but I read this and simply felt empathetic. Being happy and being career focused aren't 2 different things. If social life will make you happier, it can also put you in a better mood that can drive ambition to perform well in school too. Enough confucius talk, but do what it truly best for you in the long run.
Wharton junior here. Typically don't post on the forum, but will for you. Without a doubt Wharton/Penn is career-oriented, and kids get way too focused and stressed on schoolwork and other stupid stuff. But, that being said, I think there's also plenty of good people that are looking for friends and can relax and have a good time. I remember going through some of your thought-process as a freshman (although never personally considered transferring), and it ended up getting a lot better as I made more friends and got more involved. Make friends with your hallmates, I'm best friends with some of my freshman hallmates, and still live with one. Clubs/Greek life/Sports can also be good for meeting new people.
Do whatever you feel you need to do. Maybe Duke will be a better fit for you, but know that it can get better, and you'll definitely find your niche here at Penn if you look hard enough. Best of luck to you, whatever you decide.
I remember a lot of my friends having similar feelings during freshman year (not Wharton) but ultimately loved their college experience once they got used to college and weren't bottom of the totem pole, so I don't think it's unusual to have those feelings. As far as duke is concerned, I don't think it will be what you are expecting it to be socially. I have 50 or so high school classmates who go there and it does not feel like a southern university (85% of the student body is out of state) and they say it doesn't really feel like a "typical college experience". (We all grew up in the triangle with unc and nc state)
Same experience like the one you are having. And I went to a big ten school. It gets better, a lot better. Believe me.
I gave you a point for your candor and humble, honest attitude. Part of what you're experiencing is just college. Most of those kids feel the same way, they just haven't let on. You will find your group and make new friends.
Part of this is how the real world is, especially business. Everyone is all about their career and personal goals, and don't have a lot of time to sit around and just get to know people. It's even worse when you start working. Stay in touch with old friends, family, and actively look for ways to build your social circle. Frats, well, I never joined so I can't speak too much to them, but I left college with a ton of friends and connections after having been a severe introvert in high school.
Part of this is also the NorthEast: people are in a rush and don't spend too much time getting to know each other. You may ultimately want to look for work in your home area/region but for now make an effort to assimilate. Duke, as mentioned above, is mostly out of staters and you'll feel every bit as isolated.
The plus side is that Wharton is going to open a LOT of doors for you even if your grades aren't perfect, and it's expected that freshman year can be rough. Just focus on your studies and call home a couple times a week. Seriously, biggest mistake I made in college was to isolate myself completely from those who I grew up around. Most of your college "friends" will move on in a few years, and even though you'll make new long term friends...nothing beats the people you got drunk with in high school.
Also talk to the deans there. They see PLENTY of kids who become isolated and have trouble adjusting. They're there to help. Dig around until you find people that will listen, and just open your mouth. If your attitude in real life is anything like your attitude in your post, you'll be just fine.
Check in here again, WSO can be enormously supportive if you ignore the bitchy trolls and hard ass wannabes.
I'm not trolling and I'm not even trying to be a dick really. I try to give the best possible advice whenever I participate on these fora. In this situation, I was able to do this with just 2 words. I realize that it may have been a bit harsh, but I truly do believe that it's the best possible advice.
To the OP,
You're obviously very intelligent. You go to Wharton and you're a good writer. You just lack perspective. The solution to your problem, namely that you're struggling a bit and didn't make as many friends as you would have liked in your freshmen year, is not to downgrade to a less prestigious and less academically rigorous school. My advice, for what it's worth, is (a) focus on your studies so that you can improve your GPA and (b) keep being social. At some point, you will make friends with at least a few, out of the thousands of students that attend your school.
The transition to college is difficult for everyone. Almost all of us lost contact with good high school friends once we (or they) moved away.
LOL I'm not the one who threw poo at you. My message was about the same; I just spelled it out more.
Duke isn't the first place that comes to mind for an awesome college social experience.
I would suggest sticking it out - it's a large enough student body that you are bound to make a good group of friends.
Hey, I really hope that things improve for you, wherever you end up! I don't think what you're describing is unique to Wharton/Penn, and it may even be like that at Duke too. I go to another school (an ivy, though one that's less pre-professional than Penn) and things are definitely somewhat similar. I also know very few people who loved their second semester of freshman year - in most cases, things do get better with time :)
I don't have any experience with Wharton, but would echo what everyone else says. Unfortunately I think it takes a lot of luck to find a group of friends. For me it was wandering aimlessly one Friday night and running into a minor acquaintance who invited me to a party where I would eventually meet my best friends, with whom I still stay in contact. Up until that point, college was VERY difficult to say the least.
Stick it out at Penn. I don't get the whole interviewing for clubs thing, but it sounds really lame. Have you considered any of the following:
1) Starting your own club that is a passion / interest of yours 2) Sports (I don't know what your athletic ability is, but playing squash and other social sports can be great) 3) Get involved with some non-Wharton groups, or even non-Penn groups such as local church groups (if you're religious)
This. I met my best friend at college at a dance party second semester freshman year. I also started a club my freshman year - I originally thought no one would be interested, but people were really enthusiastic about it.
If you want to transfer to a school that will give you solid finance ops (although not as good as Wharton, but stil good) and has the southern social vibe then the school you're looking for is probably UVA. What you're feeling isn't odd- I know a lot of folks that did solid southern school for undergrad then ivy for grad who talk about how all business the ivy is. Now this hasn't been an issue for them because by the grad school point people are fine with all business, but everyone always remarks about how much it would stink to be an undergrad at those places. It's not a binary decision where you either pick a school that's good for your career or one that's fun. There are definitely trade offs but IMO you an give up some Wharton career upside for a huge social improvement at a place like UVA (not an alum). Duke would offer the same though less southern. Just speculating but have heard Dartmouth and Princeton have similar social feels to the top southern colleges so might be worth checking out. Good luck.
Stick it out. Transfer students are going to have an element of being isolated also. If Penn students suck I suggest you befriend Drexel and Temple people. Or simply go out in the 2nd biggest city on the eastern seaboard.
This is just growing pains. Leaving Wharton at this point would be a bad move.
I'd stay at Wharton. I find it hard to believe that at a University the size of Wharton/UPenn you'd have trouble making friends for too long. You're going through what many freshmen go through, but I do promise you that it gets better.
Start doing things you enjoy when not in class, and you'll naturally meet people who enjoy it as well. My Freshman year I started a Young Republicans club (I went to an east coast university so you can imagine how isolating it was to be a Conservative!). I also organized bungee jumping and skydiving treks. It brought out all the crazy, fun loving folks and we had a blast. Are you a gamer? Playing Counterstrike made me a ton of friends-slightly offbeat, but great people nonetheless. That's when I realized that my problem was that I was chasing the wrong kinds of friendships: popular kids, overachievers, and type As. I actually did better with more unique or mellow, fun loving types. Rest assured they're there. As career oriented as everyone around you is, they also want opportunities to meet people and blow off steam as well.
As for your academics, I found that setting off 3-4 hour blocs of intense focus for school time did wonders for my grades. I'd also start my papers the day they were assigned, working on them little by little so that I never got bored or frustrated...no cramming or all nighters. Once 7pm hit, I was off the clock and looking to have fun. Try out this approach and I think you'll have a great time as well.
Thank y'all so much for the insight, I didn't expect this many responses at all. I feel as involved as can be expected - I'm on a club sports team and, if I stay, will join another next year, I know a ton of people, I go out as much as I can, and am close with my hall. However, I realize that my hall community is only temporary, as we are all really close but don't do anything aside from hanging out in our rooms, the root of the issue is that I don't feel like I'm genuinely connecting with anyone and that the school culture is an underlying issue in forming friendships. I try to go to lunch with at least two new people every week, however, as most of my interests aren't in Penn I hadn't thought about joining a non-Wharton club - maybe I'll try getting involved in the College Republicans and a Bible Study doesn't sound like a bad idea. With regards to Dartmouth/UVa Dartmouth is frankly too cold for me and although UVa is where I've spent some of the best weekends of my life with a lot of my close friends I couldn't get my shit together fast enough and missed their deadline.
What I'm seeing is that people are saying that Duke is similar to Penn, however I've read on other threads that it is a much more social campus (I can't post the link but the forum is about choosing Duke/Vandy over Harvard/Wharton) with a particular quote saying something like you "lose a 10% recruiting edge while gaining 50% sociability" by transferring to Duke. How accurate is this? I'm looking for a campus that values relationships, has an overall down-to-earth and friendly vibe, and has school spirit, therefore creating more of the college experience that I'm looking for
Again, thank you so much and keep the comments coming - it means a ton that complete strangers are willing to take the time and help me out
I am a senior at a school very similar to Duke in social and academic reputation. I would echo the sentiment of many including wharton2pe. My freshmen year basically sucked, but the past two and a half years have been incredible (and got progressively better). Furthermore, as I have expanded my network of friends and discussed my social progression with guys who will now be my lifelong friends I can tell you that having a shitty freshman year is very common. Everyone who says it gets better is right. Hang in there, be open minded, hang out with the people you like. Your grades will improve as you learn the ropes.
Also, just a second thought. Not sure if you have friends at Duke already but I know several people who transferred to my school and even the cool ones still do not have as strong of a social experience as people who have been here since freshman year.
At the end of the day, do what you gotta do. But, if there is a glimmer of hope that you might end up having a good time at Wharton and thriving socially and academically stay in the game and go for it. Good luck man.
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