UBS Dress Code - 43 page code

GOB's picture
Rank: Senior Orangutan | 417

In a Big Brother-style, 43 page dress code for its bank employees, UBS has a recommendation for everything from the length of employees' socks (at least knee high, to avoid embarrassing peeks of skin from the trouser leg) to what they eat (no garlic).

Here are some taken out:

"The nicky [kerchief] should always be folded and tied with a bow oriented, not below, but as far as possible, top left. Style "boy scout" (nicky bellows on the neck) be rejected in all cases"

"Never wear shoes that are too small for you: There's nothing worse than a twisted smile."

"In interviews with customers or other third parties, it is essential you remove your glasses so that eye contact can established. Sunglasses should not be worn on the head."

"The ideal time to wear perfume is directly after taking a hot shower when your pores are still open."

"You will extend the life of your stockings and your tights if your toe nails are well-trimmed and filed."

"Each time you remove your suit, untie your tie and hang or wrap it. Give your tie

at least one rest day before reuse so that the fabric and lining to rest."

Full 43 pages are below. I think its in Spanish or something

http://www.letemps.ch/rw/Le_Temps/Quotidien/2010/1...

Comments (31)

Dec 15, 2010

U didnt write how they wanted women who face clients to wear only flesh colored lingerie...lol

Reality hits you hard, bro...

Dec 15, 2010

If you're going to rip off Deal Journal word-for-word, the least you could do is toss some quotation remarks around virtually your entire post.

    • 1
Dec 15, 2010

If you're going to talk like a fag word-for-word, then go eat a dick.

I posted it to share with my fellow monkeys..

Dec 15, 2010

anyone in UBS kind enough to post the english version?

Dec 15, 2010

GOB i dont know who you are or where you come from but your bold style is great. Welcome to WSO!

"Oh the ladies ever tell you that you look like a fucking optical illusion" - Frank Slaughtery 25th Hour.

Dec 15, 2010

Thanks trade4size. I was a looonngg time lurker.

Dec 15, 2010

"Full 43 pages are below. I think its in Spanish or something"

Sans chaussures adaptees et de qualite, meme le plus beau
tailleur ne donne aucun style. Seules des chaussures adequates
completeront avantageusement un Dresscode correctement
respecte,
confereront style et elegance et contribueront positivement
a l'impression generale. Si votre tenue est de couleur
anthracite fonce, noir ou bleu fonce, des chaussures noires fermees
en cuir brillant de style classique ou tendance conviendront
parfaitement. La hauteur du talon ne doit pas depasser 7 cm; le

Its French, give me a fucking break

IVY for Life

Dec 15, 2010
futuretrader1999:

"Full 43 pages are below. I think its in Spanish or something"

Sans chaussures adaptees et de qualite, meme le plus beau
tailleur ne donne aucun style. Seules des chaussures adequates
completeront avantageusement un Dresscode correctement
respecte,
confereront style et elegance et contribueront positivement
a l'impression generale. Si votre tenue est de couleur
anthracite fonce, noir ou bleu fonce, des chaussures noires fermees
en cuir brillant de style classique ou tendance conviendront
parfaitement. La hauteur du talon ne doit pas depasser 7 cm; le

Its French, give me a fucking break

I apologize that my sarcasm did not register with you. This is WSO bro of course I knew it wasn't Spanish. Making an account on this site is more difficult than recognizing the obvious difference between Spanish and French.

Dec 16, 2010

UBS without Ken Moelis is like Entourage w/o Ari Gold.

Fuck UBS, they are irrelevant

Dec 16, 2010

english version:

http://www.scribd.com/doc/45301801/Translated-Vers...UBS-Dress-Code-Document

    • 1
Dec 16, 2010

They're trying to re-establish their brand name with clients. Give them a fucking break.

Dec 16, 2010

Spoke with a bud from UBS. This is actually just a guideline for like 500 retail bankers in Switzerland. They are trying to give this policy a test run to see if it's feasible etc.

Sep 15, 2016

Thanks for sharing!!

Sep 15, 2016

I don't think so. I am also pretty sure that was just for Switzerland aswell

Sep 15, 2016

shirt and tie

Sep 15, 2016

If you're on the west coast, that's just slacks and a button down shirt. no tie.

Sep 15, 2016

bring a tie in the pocket just in case though.

Sep 15, 2016

Just sounds like Business Casss to me.

Sep 15, 2016

Sounds like a dick to me, how about a clear fuckin answer?

I'd definitely spray MASE on this fucker's toilet paper roll.

Sep 15, 2016
Marcus_Halberstram:

Sounds like a dick to me, how about a clear fuckin answer?

I'd definitely spray MASE on this fucker's toilet paper roll.

How does one spray a has-been rapper onto a toilet paper roll?

Sep 15, 2016

Haha, kiss my ass, then relax. He spelled "mace" wrong, and it reminded me of the rapper I once enjoyed in late-elementary school.

It was a joke. Lame, perhaps. Keep the monkey shit coming, it's like Cialis for the soul.

Sep 15, 2016
h.e.pennypacker:

Keep the monkey shit coming, it's like Cialis for the soul.

You're getting lamer every time you post.

Sep 15, 2016

certain color underwear got me haha

The answer to your question is 1) network 2) get involved 3) beef up your resume 4) repeat -happypantsmcgee

WSO is not your personal search function.

Sep 15, 2016

I dont see what the problem with it was

Sep 15, 2016
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