Depressed, in debt, and unemployed. I can't go on much longer than this. (TW:Depression/Suicide)

please delete this, I am afraid recruiters will see this and figure out who it is. Im reaching out, thank you for being so supportive.

Comments (28)

 
Most Helpful
  • Analyst 1 in S&T - Equities
Nov 26, 2020 - 11:27pm

Please please do not harm yourself. There's nothing that I can say that will make you feel better or 'snap out of it,' but what you are talking about is a point in your life that will pass. You are clearly putting in the effort and you WILL get what you want.

Sorry I'm not addressing more of what you're saying, but I just want you to know that things will get better. 

 
Nov 26, 2020 - 11:56pm

I wish I just had the ability to stop being such a goddamn pussy, get all these emotions out of my head, and keep pushing through. It's just cycle after cycle I push myself, then lose motivation, then up again. I don't feel like harming myself, I just feel like I want the suffering to end. I just fear at one point, the stress, depression, embarrassment, bills, collections calls, etc. will all get to a breaking point and I'll be a sad story on the New York Times. 

 
Nov 26, 2020 - 11:46pm

You need to hang in there! The process can be so hard sometimes but you're not alone. Your big break may be right around the corner but you need to keep pushing until then. I'm sure it's frustrating and hard to go through but imagine how great it'll feel to look back on this years from now and knowing that you dug yourself out of this situation. Reach out to friends, reach out to family, talk to them about how you're feeling. I'd even go so far as to suggest to try to stay off of LinkedIn and other social medias if it's causing more conflict within yourself. Ending it may feel like your only solution but it's not. It's certainly not the best solution either. I beg you to please reach out to people close to you and talk to them. Asking for help is a strong and courageous thing to do. Airing it out on WSO is a step but we need to go another step further and talk to a family member or close friend.

 
Nov 26, 2020 - 11:49pm

nknknk14

You need to hang in there! The process can be so hard sometimes but you're not alone. Your big break may be right around the corner but you need to keep pushing until then. I'm sure it's frustrating and hard to go through but imagine how great it'll feel to look back on this years from now and knowing that you dug yourself out of this situation. Reach out to friends, reach out to family, talk to them about how you're feeling. I'd even go so far as to suggest to try to stay off of LinkedIn and other social medias if it's causing more conflict within yourself. Ending it may feel like your only solution but it's not. It's certainly not the best solution either. I beg you to please reach out to people close to you and talk to them. Asking for help is a strong and courageous thing to do. Airing it out on WSO is a step but we need to go another step further and talk to a family member or close friend.

I'm trying to hang in there, it's just hard when you're not from a target, don't have a solid network, and are afraid of racking up even more medical bills just to see a professional psychiatrist. It's like a neverending cycle. I'd do anything to not be an only child, and to have another sibling they can fall back upon if something happened to me man. 

 

It's gotten to a point where even my friends have had an intervention with me. I hope none of them see this, but I've been lying to them telling them I've been getting help, when in reality, all I care about is getting a job. All I've been doing is trying to get a job, and my every waking existence, is focused on getting a job. 

 

I care more about getting a job, doing well, getting challenged, having responsibilities, and working on a team than honestly myself. 

 

 

 

 
Nov 26, 2020 - 11:57pm

I totally get it! I'm not from a target and my network isn't great either. But sometimes we just have to put all that to the side for a little. If you aren't finding any luck getting into the job that you want, just do something that'll bring some cash in for your bills while you try to build your network. Honestly. Even if you have to drive for DoorDash or Uber for a few months to get back on your feet, do it. Do it for your health. Something will come along but you just cannot give up. You cannot give in. Take it one day at a time.

I know I advised against LinkedIn but please please feel free to reach out to me on there and I'll try to help you as much as I can.

http://linkedin.com/in/nicholas-komorowski

 
Nov 27, 2020 - 12:07am

Anything relating to events/events planning and coordination (but that's gone bc of COVID), corporate access (so kind of IR, but unfortunately I don't have enough experience to be directly placed into IR) logistics, project management, sales, or marketing. I'm still early in my career, but the more time passes without me being able to get more experience, the less chance I have to actually get a great job that I can prove myself in. 

It's almost all back-office stuff, but it's actually stuff I enjoy I guess. 

 
Nov 27, 2020 - 12:57am

I think it's easy to internalize this as a failure when a lot of this was completely out of your hands given you were in a business related to events. I don't think anybody could have predicted a plague in 2020 that would entirely wipe out hospitality, events, etc...

You should speak to your parents and line up mental health resources ASAP. 

 
Nov 27, 2020 - 1:36pm

(1) Get any mental help/support you need to get you through the short term

(2) When I find myself in times like this, as in "I don't know what to do", I usually turn to my faith. I don't know what faith you have, but I think there's times when it's healthy to turn to a higher power and say, "hey, I'm placing this in your hands, I'm putting my faith to work" and let that play out for you. I know that may not be the answer you expected to hear when posting this, but I always find that I feel SO much better when I put my problems in my faith and things have always worked out for me. To be sure, I absolutely believe in "God helps those who help themselves", so keep on sending out those resumes and doing all that you can. But mentally and emotionally you might feel better by turning to your faith. 

Good luck!

 
Nov 27, 2020 - 1:58pm

why not get a municipal job for the time being?  its not sexy, but the hours are only 35-40 per week tops, pays enough to pay the bills and hold you over until you can get into the industry you really want.

just google it...you're welcome
 
Nov 27, 2020 - 4:58pm

I went through the same shit. The moment it got better for me was when I stopped caring about what others think about me and what kind of job I'll end up doing. 

I'm from a semi-target, all my friends secured fantastic opportunities while I was still unemployed.
What really helped me was the decision to start my own business (with no money to invest in it). I left the city where I studied and that made me feel so worthless and miserable to start from scratch in another city.

Slowly the situation improved, I also received offers from amazing companies and the fun part was that I no longer cared about prestige and compensation and all that shit. I'm happier today.

Do not give up.

If one day comes when you decide to end your life, do something different instead. Use your last money to buy a plane ticket and go away. New city, maybe new country, far from the judgement of family and friends. Start a new life.
There is always another way. I did it and I highly recommend it to you as well if you feel there is no other chance for you.

Ah, and fuck the job, there is much more in life than that.

Wl
  • 2
 
Nov 27, 2020 - 5:34pm

Short term: as others have mentioned, find a professional. It helps. 

Longer term: give yourself a good look over and figure out whether you'll get what you're going for. Don't chase something you'll never get and instead try to find enjoyment in what you can find. I don't mean this in a patronising way, being in the same position job wise myself - to get through job hunting mid covid, you've got to stay positive or it will be too much. All the best.

 
Nov 27, 2020 - 8:20pm

hey man, first off, I encourage you to seek professional (your family or a close friend will want to help) because it's hard for any of us to really know your exact situation.

That being said, I want to say a few things:

  • The job you have does not make you the person you are
  • Your true family and friends care about you no matter what job you have
  • Comparing yourself to others on social media is toxic (yes, this can include WSO if you become obsessed) since people often show the best versions of themselves

Now MUCH less important but more tactical and perspective to your search

  • You are not alone and I was rejected a lot more in my early 20s to IBs, PE, etc...  and there are millions of people that don't even have a college degree
  • COVID and 2020 is a temporary shitstorm that has a soon approaching end (the vaccine news is insanely positive development). 
  • Keep your head up.  I push my mentees to send out 1,000+ messages and 3,000+ requests (these are super fast/easy and you can do 100/day which is a natural cap for 30 days = 3,000)...  the hit rate on networking + cold messages is super low, so if you do that math, it takes several thousand to just get a handful of calls, but that is how true relationships and your break can start.  
  • It only takes 1 offer to stop the cycle

The way I see this is that you can't push through to do a heavy-lift (50+hrs/week) job search because you are getting into a depressive cycle by comparing yourself to a small subset of people bragging on social media.

#1 I beg you to cut yourself some slack.  8 months is nothing in the mess that is 2020 and everyone will understand and will not judge.  This year was absolute dogshit for a lot of people.

PM me anytime and I'll do my best to help out.

-Patrick

 
  • Prospect in Legal
Nov 27, 2020 - 8:43pm

Please reach out to someone and ask for some help. If you're able to talk to your parents and/or close friends, please do. Here are some nationwide resources that are available to you:

https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help

If you reply with your metro location, I can search and find some more local resources. I know it's hard to ask for help and I just want to commend you on opening up to share this here. Things will get better, and you are worth every, every, every bit of that effort. Hang in there.

 
Nov 28, 2020 - 12:44am

Focus on getting back to your normal life. Even if you don't feel ok. The bad feelings go away after you stop giving them your time.

 
Nov 30, 2020 - 3:39pm

Hey man, I have been to some pretty low places as well and understand what you are feeling. Hopelessness, etc. Please try the 'Waking Up' App on iPhone. It is a meditation app that will relieve you of this self-induced suffering. There is a 2 week free trial, just try it out tonight. What do you have to lose? Give it an honest go and let me know what you think! Feel free to DM if you'd like someone to talk to who has dealt with similar issues. Sending love from NYC

 
Nov 30, 2020 - 8:00pm

I believe that you are much stronger than you realize. I was not able to read your original post because you deleted it, but I don't need to. I understand your feelings of anxiety and depression, and how it might even be worse while being unemployed. First, your mental health is your first priority. We only get one life, do not ever think yours is worthless because you are having trouble finding a job during the worst pandemic in the last hundred years. Take care of yourself, and build your confidence back up brick by brick. Make sure you're exercising and eating healthy, and take up meditation or even prayer if you're religious. I would also also highly encourage speaking to a medical professional, whether it be a psychiatrist or therapist. If you can't afford either right now, then speak to your parents or your closest friends. I know it's embarrassing to open up to those close to you, but the support from those who love you may be the motivation you need right now. I'm not sure what industry or job you're looking for, but if bills are piling up and you're deep in debt, I would recommend considering a job below your usual targets, just to have some source of income while your industry recovers from the pandemic. I can't advise you on much when it comes to your job search or debt, but I want to let you know that I believe in you. This is a test of your will and character. I know the world must feel like it's crashing down on you, but keep pushing forward. Take one day at a time, and seize every single day. Things will get better, hang in there, and feel free to reach out to me even if it's just to vent to some anonymous person.  

 

 

 
Dec 1, 2020 - 10:14pm

Your resolve to be challenged and reach the high expectations you've set upon yourself is fantastic, although obviously difficult. I am in the same position man but younger, trying to break in and make something out of myself. Your ambitions are high, you deserve it, you work your ass off to be qualified for positions - you will have your spotlight, but you are being tested. 

 

We'll make it through together, although I am not in your exact struggle and cannot relate, WSO is your family away from family - people who get your ambition and passions. Times are so fucking hard and that will make it all the more amazing when you climb out of it - a story to tell the children and family. Keep working, please if you take nothing else away from this, please please please please please please please please please download the INSIGHT app on your phone - begin meditating. Focus on breathing and try to "refresh yourself." It's not a total solution but allows you to calm the panic and high octane stress in your life.

 

DM if you need to talk anytime.

 
Dec 4, 2020 - 10:53am

Besides the recommendation of getting professional help, just want to say: a job is just a job.

You'll be fine. You got this. You'll survive. Life is long and things change. Your situation may suck now, but will change in the future. Whatever bothers you today will be an anecdote on your life in 10-20 years. Trust me.

 
Dec 8, 2020 - 3:17pm

I hope you're doing well.

You're not a pussy, you're an amazing guy and your potential is beyond your imagination right now. You can get rid of all this negative stress and emotions and find a happy life for yourself. I was in your boat (mental health wise), so I know how it's like. But you can turn it around. 

What you have is probably some anxiety too, because you talk of reaching a breaking point and being a 'sad story'. That's called catastrophizing. And you can work through these thoughts. Right now you probably see all your problems, as if you were living in a miasma of failure. You're not. The truth is, we're all living in our own perceived way of the world (it's called the Looking Glass Self). If you work on yourself, learn to love yourself and reflect, then you can change your perspective and realise you were wrong in these thoughts. I know, it's hard because you got to learn to love yourself, especially when it's got nothing to do with investor relations or events and hospitality. It's about personal development. And that's what's important. You. You are what you need to work on right now. 

I know that one day you're gonna end your suffering by improving your mind. You just got to believe in yourself. 

Don't see your life through the lens of what 'target school' you didn't go to. After you reflect on your thoughts and create a positive mindset, you'll start to see yourself through the lens of how amazing and successful you are. Trust me, I did this when I was rock bottom in my life - when I thought there was nothing good about me or my world - and you can do it. 

This will help you in work. You'll find that after getting rid of negative thoughts, it'll be easier to handle anything that doesn't go your way. And after creating a more positive mindset and loving yourself, you'll succeed in your personal relationships (think networking) and excel in your job hunt. 
 

Let me help you out with a couple tools I wish I had when I was younger. With the website model, get a journal and spend about an hour pen and paper on each thought. 

https://www.iwanttochangemylife.org/cbt/cognitive-behavioral-therapy-gu…

'Letters from a Stoic: Seneca' (book)

And after that, motivation and confidence will be much easier at hand.

Good luck and feel free to message me :)

 
Dec 15, 2020 - 11:31am

I am depressed and unemployed, is not easy but at least you probably live in the U.S. I live in Spain and even before the Covid crisis the situation was difficult, sometimes I feel like a did a bachelor and master degree in Finance for nothing. You are in a country with future so you should be fine... the one who should kill himself is me,not you. 

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