Ups and Downs In My Head

Hi everybody, I hope you enjoyed your Thanksgiving weekend. I've been having lots of deep thoughts lately and it's kind of unsettling. One thing that commonly crosses my mind is how insignificant we really are. If you think about it, what REALLY matters? Does anything truly matter in the end? I don't know.


I usually don't think about these things, but ever since this thought crossed my mind, I have not really been the same. I just haven't been able to understand the why to everything that I do. 


Sure, life is great and there are so many blessings that I'm grateful for everyday, but everything just seems so insignificant now. I'm working towards improving my life in whatever way possible, but I don't understand why? Does this really matter? I don't like living with this thought in my mind all the time and I don't want to stay this way, but I can't get over how insignificant and small we really are.


If you cared to read this far, thank you. In simple terms, I guess I'm just asking how to look at things differently after this realization. I don't know what to do.


Thanks

 

Probably, with the way I've been thinking. Lol

It's weird though, because I've never done any psychedelics either.

 
Most Helpful

Have had some of these feelings in passing over these last 6 months since hitting the desk, questioning why we're doing all this shit just to make a buck when I see all my buddies going on weekend trips, while I'm dicking around in excel having to cancel yet another tee time. But I always come back to the reason we are working like this, for me its to be able to provide for a family in the future, to be able to take care of my parents/siblings 20 years down the road, and have the freedoms I want when I'm 40.  These ideas keep me motivated to continually improve myself and my career because that goal is in my head. No where close to a family of my own yet, but knowing I have a relative "head start" to my life despite the grind that comes with it makes it all worthwhile for me. The shit I have to shovel now as a 22 year old pales in comparison to the millions of people much older than ourselves who don't have substantial retirement (cite that stat where more than 50% of Americans can't cover a $500 emergency or whatever it is), already have families and heavy obligations that pile on so much pressure for so many, the mere concept of buying a house is a pipe dream for so many in our society, on top of that with this pandemic the fact I am making more than 95% of people our age is a blessing that sometimes I admittedly take for granted sometimes, hits me when a bunch of my friends who are good people, smart, and motivated have lost jobs/ haven't even been able to get anything post graduation makes me feel so incredibly lucky to be where I am now. Hell I make more than my dad now, who lost his very well paying CRE job while I was in middle school, the guy has an MBA and is a CFA but he has not been able to get back to his highest salary in almost 10 years now, this is a potential reality for all of us, we have no idea what could happen when we are 35, so these early years we can build security are increasingly important in my mind, even at the expense of what is the IB grind. 

Just my two cents.

 

The unfortunate truth of constantly pondering our meaning is that we will truly never know what our purpose is. You are supposed to make meaning out of your life instead of spending boundless energy navigating a labyrinth of infinite hypotheticals and existential questions. The truth is, we are extremely fortunate to be in a situation where we can question the reason of our existence. This is largely because we are able to take a long term view of planning our lives. I grew up in an extremely poor country where life for the vast majority of people is a daily struggle of finding ways of making ends meet. 

Humanity has always strived to find ways to justify the purpose of our existence. How do you think the concept of religions and deities came to be? Some people think that we are at the center of the universe, some think that we are insignificant beings wasting away on one of the million billion trillion planets in the universe, some think we are living in a simulation, and the list goes on and on... But that's the point! You get to choose what you think your purpose is. I spent so much time trying to find answers to these questions only to end up even more lost than I was before and on the verge of depression. I believe I made the healthy decision of focusing on what I want to make out of my life as opposed to what life wants to make of me. I'm choosing to pursue a career in banking because I recognize that I am not a genius but I am smart enough to secure a role in a competitive field that has fewer barriers to entry than most other similar paying jobs. I find meaning in providing financial security to my family and the people I love and this field will help me do that. 

 

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