Wall Street Pick Up Lines

Just came across this new site. You post your best wall street pick up lines, pretty funny stuff. God knows how many of them actually worked. There are guys that tend not to use pick up lines, they let their bodies do the talking, but for the rest of us, they're our bread and butter.

Some of you Don Juans must have some good shit.

Check it out:[mod removed]

 

When you wanna get with a sub-8: Value play!

When a girl you haven't seen in a long time is suddenly way hotter: Change rating to 'buy.'

When you meet a chick's mother for the first time and she's really hot for her age: Decrease discount rate!

When a girl has an overly involved friend: Divest!

*I realize these aren't in pick-up line format, I just wanted to make geeky finance puns anyway.

“Millionaires don't use astrology, billionaires do”
 

keep 'em coming guys.

i'm living with my parents and haven't had sex in almost a year. i'll keep these in mind in case i want to prolong my celibacy.

Money Never Sleeps? More like Money Never SUCKS amirite?!?!?!?
 

Aut sed dolorem atque fugiat minima unde. Quae accusamus et recusandae est aperiam dolorem. Iusto quia qui vitae corporis.

Career Advancement Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. (++) 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (86) $261
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (13) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (202) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (144) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
3
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
4
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
5
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
6
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
7
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
8
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
9
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
10
Jamoldo's picture
Jamoldo
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”