Two weeks ago, a thread was created on favorite banking phrases. It blew up, and numerous monkeys shared some hilarious jargon used in this industry. If you haven't seen it yet, I definitely recommend checking it out here. However, this thread got me wondering the contrary...
What phrases or terms do you hate hearing in the office?
I'll start...
“P&L” instead of “income statement.”
“Income” when they mean “revenue”
This.
I was on a networking call and was told to know how a P&L works for interviews and had a mini panic attack til I realized he was just talking about an income statement
What is the difference (P&L and Income Statement)?
The type of people who use each one
I group this in w/ ppl who say "EBIT_D_A"
Yes the EBIT D A people are the worst
To be fair tho, full name is Statement of profit and loss and other comprehensive income on the financial statement ..
Before you ask, I don’t party much.
I love these, keep it up.
Two more I don't like: 1. "Deep dive" into the financials 2. "Touch base" with someone
Why do people even use these...
Is “touch base” an American thing? We say catch up here in the UK.
I guess so. Not really sure, but I have only heard people say it here in the U.S.
HATE "bandwith/capacity" for time "face time" for waiting around "circle back" for get back
DON'T HATE "scrub" "flip the books"
Am I right guys?
“I’m gonna make him an offer he can’t refuse” when they try to sound Italian and there is not really any offer being made. Sounds stupid as fuck
foodinLOBBY!
"I'm coming right down."
10 min later
"Joe's Shanghai?"
"Dos Toros."
"Joe's Shanghai?"
"Mangia."
"Fuck, I wish I ordered Mangia."
Calls delivery guy
"Where in the lobby are you?"
"5minaway."
suicides
Always Dos Toros.
Single most accurate post on WSO to date.
Mangia's good stuff.
This is the realest thing I have ever read
"Thanks"
Especially "Thanks." With the period at the end, just to show extra disdain for that model you spent 36 hours on...
tks.
EBITDA pronounced as "EEE-BIT-DEE-AY"
Execs making excuses by saying "its a challenging environment" or "challenging space"
The world isn't an "environment" or "space". If you're talking about a specific industry or sector, just say that. Environment sounds like you're making excuses and saying everything is beyond your control, like the weather. If it's so bad and truly outside your control, you probably need to exit the business!
Could you provide some more color on xxx
"Gonna need that ______ by tonight." (Proceeds to not look at it until a week later)
pls fix. thx
For the HF industry:
"Lapping tough comps" "Halo effect" "Mix shift" "Growth Algorithm" "LSD/MSD/HSD"
“Can you own that?” When being voluntold to take the lead on some shitty administrative project or really any project for that matter.
“Taking a 30,000 ft view”
“Let’s look at this holistically”
“That’s right in your wheelhouse”
“That really resonates with clients”
“We have many tools in our toolkit”
Robust. The way bankers use it, it can mean one of two things and both are irritating as fuck.
"Robust growth" - just say high growth. Better growth. Whatever.
"Make this [deck/page/model] more robust". In other words, senior banker wants the work product to be better somehow, but can't just say the work sucks because he doesn't have grounds for saying that (i.e. he mismanaged the process or gave the wrong directions or something) and he doesn't plan on giving helpful guidance, so he just tells you to make it more robust. Landing him on my secret list of people who will mysteriously disappear from the face of the earth in the unlikely event I'm ever in a position of immense power.
"Run point" is also dumb
"Thought leadership," aka ghost-written drivel on LinkedIn that no one reads
"Leadership" when referring to MDs or above. OK, North Korea.
"Transforming / innovating / disrupting X"
"Price point" What's wrong with price?
"Deliver" Unless we're talking about pizza
"Utilise"
"Impact" as a verb
"Tackle [a problem]" Didn't know I was signing up for rugby
"Going forward" I didn't ask for directions
Finance pronounced as "fuh-nance" / "fin-ants" instead of "FIGH-nance".
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