totally redo. honestly.

"After you work on Wall Street it’s a choice, would you rather work at McDonalds or on the sell-side? I would choose McDonalds over the sell-side.” - David Tepper
 

stopped reading after this:

As I had always been fascinated by finance—and especially financial modeling—I soon discovered that a bank would be a suitable working environment for me by doing a quick foray into banking in Summer 2009, doing a Summer Program at the NYSE.

start over. be (significantly) more concise. find an english major or someone in your career services department to proofread it after your first draft as there are glaring grammar and business writing errors in what you posted. avoid cliches and hyperbole. if you go to mergers and inquisitions they have a good template to start from.

 

Go to Marcus' post in the Investment Banking forum. It was recently brought back. Read his portion on cover letters and do exactly that. He mentions the three parts you want to have.

Do not send this. Interest in financial modeling-is that a fucking joke? No one in banking will be impressed by your fascination in using Excel shortcuts to feel smart.

 

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