What gigs can I get with this resume?

vjunreal:

-Just put 3.9 for your GPA -Lost 95lbs by bodybuilding? isn't the purpose of bodybuilding to gain muscle mass? sounds more like cardio or diet to me. I understand that what you were doing was most probably the cutting phase of bodybuilding, but most people wouldn't know that and they would be puzzled at that 'losing 95 lbs' thing. I don't think you need to put that detail, it will only raise eyebrows at most.

Thanks for the reply. Bodybuilding is really about body re-composition and sculpting the body to look as you like. Cutting and bulking are phases in bodybuilding. When I started, I was overweight. Lost 105 lbs ish, gained 10 lbs, and re-comped to 11% bf.

drexelalum11:

Would definitely round the GPA. The last digit being a 5 just makes 3.5 stick in my head. 3.9 is totally fair to put.

To say you "managed" client portfolios as a PWM intern is a lie.

I'd add more detail and make your margins and gaps between roles smaller

I would not put down your high school unless it is top 3 or 4 in the country. "Reputable" does not sound like it belongs on the list.

Would lose the diet shit, getting fat in the first place shows you have no self control

Are you really working at both a BB and F500 company simultaneously? Will you continue doing so during the school year? If not, just put everything as it will be when you actually apply, so it can be edited more accurately

Thanks for your input too drex; really appreciate it. I ll prolly round to 3.9 then.

What are some appropriate descriptions of PWM internships? I started this internship very recently, and I am trying to phrase things as I learn.

The high school is pretty well known in New York City, alumni network is stronger than colleges like NYU. I dunno any reputable high schools on the national scale though.

I will be working on two internships in the fall, yes.

And do you mean I should make my bullets my detailed and decrease the spacing between the bullets? or between the experiences?

BankonBanking:

Taking a quick look,

1. Move "Concentrations" (and make it plural) to a new bullet and put some space in as you have between GPAs and insert "Minors". Then take your minors out of your 2nd line and insert them into that new place.

2. I would agree that you should probably remove your HS from your resume - you are already a rising senior - you can cut that tie. I understand that it is reputable, however, if you would like to use the strong alumni network, then go ahead, but you don't need to site it on your resume for that - you are better off using the space elsewhere.

3. Don't abbreviate some months and not others - write all months out.

4. Your last primary and secondary bullet points from your most recent experience can be combined into 1 primary bullet point.

5. Put all verbs into past tense, and try to punch up a few of them.

6. Did any results come from your efforts (such as the reconciling of financials for 100 subs? If so, talk about that a bit. Many of your sentences fall a bit flat and could use a bit of rephrasing and emphasizing of points.

7. I agree with a previous poster - how exactly are you managing portfolios?

8. Also, how many hours per week are you putting into these internships with a FT class schedule (assumption)? Reading that at first glance I would assume that they are like once a week gigs that don't carry much weight - I could be wrong, and if I am, then in this case, I might even recommend putting like an hours per week in ( ) after your position on the 2nd line - I usually wouldn't recommend this, but since you have 2 internships and are going to school, if they are each more than 1 day per week, you should convey that somehow.

9. I would lose the losing weight aspect of your bodybuilding point, and just leave bodybuilding.

10. Regarding your interests, how do you express your interest in tech start-ups? I mean it is valid - but if I were interviewing, I might press you on this as it seems like you are trying to force this here. Also, "Western philosophy" should not be capitalized.

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Hey, thanks a lot for the thorough feedback. I posted the corrected version. http://www.razume.com/documents/11499

5. Am I to use past tense verbs for present experience as well? For example, the wealth management one is present, so I should not make verbs past tense right?

6. Rephrased many bullets, please review again, thanks!

7. Corrected it.

8. This term will be hell. Working 3 days, and taking 7 classes. I have always worked over 25-30 hours a week though. Should I reflect that somehow in the resume? Since I think I could have gotten better gpa without working?

9. Done

10. I'm actually starting a tech company with 3 others friends. That's why am entered in the business plan writing competition, since I need one anyways. I have done a lot of research and am genuinely interested and reasonably knowledgeable about tech startups.

Once again, I thank you for your time and valuable feedbacks. Please review my corrected version:

http://www.razume.com/documents/11499

mfbarbmff:

Bump.

Need to use this resume soon. Still looking for more feedback. Be as blunt as you want. By the way, what kind of entry jobs can I fetch with this resume? Please share your opinions. thanks!

Defining where you want to be in 5 years, while cliche, will help. Would you like to move from your entry job to consulting? To IB? To bschool?

I would say a corporate finance role would be a good fit. Have you considered GE FMP? Outside of WSO it is very well regarded.