What have been your darkest moments(professional or otherwise)? How did you come back from it?

Its been a very very rough few months for me, and I'm only just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Looking for some inspiration..how did you come back from your darkest moments?

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Comments (4)

Oct 13, 2018

Excluding death of family and friends, which have been the lowest of emotional points, I think my darkest moments have been those where I feel that I have zero control over the outcome.

One particular time was when I had very poor spending habits, AND had been laid off, that I was basically flat-ass broke. Three months behind on rent, creditors and collection agencies calling all day long.

Couldn't find any work either: Too overqualified for most "regular" jobs which could've floated me for some time, and no-one were hiring. All my savings accounts and investments were liquidated. I had pawned away almost everything of value.

You wake up, thinking about bills, and go to bed, thinking about bills. Like a bad rash. And the more desperate you get, the worse you do. And dawns on you that there's a real chance of you becoming a homeless person - you've used up all your negotiation with credits and landlords - way past that point.

What's more scary is that suicide suddenly doesn't feel that outlandish. You kinda go from "No, I would never ever do that" to "It would be easier for everyone if something just happened to me".

How did I get out of it? I got a lucky break with employment. Some older boss called me up and said they needed help with a project, as they were too understaffed. So I got a consulting gig doing that. The pay was just enough to cover outstanding rent, pay of the worst creditors, and of course friends.

I then used that employment status (i.e not unemployed, which can be a scarlet letter in the job search) to hustle for a stable (albeit lower paying) job.

Some will probably give me shit for equating financial stress with rock bottom, but the truth is, when you're broke and at the end of the rope, it becomes an all-consuming thing.

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Oct 13, 2018

-Slowly realizing I'll never see my dad again as a kid
-Not speaking any English and getting bullied because of it but always fighting back and subsequently being constantly in trouble and expelled a bunch
-Spending 2 weeks in the psych ward - 3 days strapped to a bed - getting hit in the stomach by guard and shit
-200+ high-plateau DXM and mushroom trips by age 16. Spoke with the universe and had my ego both broken down and magnified
-Rehab was actually a fucking blast
-13 misdemeanors by 17
-Overdosed on heroin and benzos and died for a bit, aspiratory pneumonia, collapsed lung, had trouble walking for a while
-Expelled from college (got back in to finish it off on an appeal)
-Briefly join the military. Get tattoos to get kicked out. Wasn't for me.
-Broken neck and arm in motorcycle crash which made my existing sclerosis a lot worse
-Oh yeah, somewhere in there, I tried to be a bodybuilder drinking two gallons of whole milk a day and got up to 250lbs by like 18
-Back pain got too bad to bare. Dropped 100lbs in like 10 months doing a really dumb diet. Passed out a couple times. Once was in a checkout line. Embarrassing lol. All I have to show for it is stretch marks.
-Sold a half pound of weed to two undercovers while working my first job out of college selling weed to people out the lobby in envelopes. A year later, I have 4 felonies and I'm on probation. Got married somewhere in that time period.
-Wife was on a full ride at a school 15 min from my job. I moved into her dorm room sharing a 4Bed/2Bath with 3 other girls. The bed was so small that we had to sleep sardine style. Ride my bike to work all winter in 10 degree Chicago weather. I wasn't really supposed to be there, so I had to get checked in and out every time.
-Got the judge's permission to go on a cruise for our honeymoon. Spent the whole time blackout drunk and on oxycodone because I hate my life and my job and what the fuck is the point of going for a week to forget about some terrible shit I have to come back to? Very upset at myself for allowing family to convince me spending money on this was a good idea when I was saving money to buy a house.
-Start working as many hours as I can get away with. Which is a lot because my one compatriot at work, GymBro (some of you remember), quit and we're supposed to be doubles or whatever. Be in the office from 5AM to 8-9PM and work Saturdays. Not even bothered because being back home sucks just as bad. All I do is drink and fight with my wife. Start an Ebay business from work after hours for extra money. Uber rejected me :(

**To answer your question, that up there was the worst. Nothing terrible. Just waking up every morning sardined, slipping out of bed and hopping on my bike and riding to work through busy traffic, arriving with numbed out fingers and toes and having to run them under hot water for a while to enter my password, being in constant pain and discomfort, working in a fucking bullshit office doing bullshit work with bullshit people all day, riding home and arriving with numbed-out extremities, and knowing that all I have to look forward to is eating some roasted drumsticks (because that's the cheapest meat you can find) with broccoli, sleeping, and doing it all over again. Can't leave the state. Only friend is my wife and she thinks about leaving me every day because I'm an alcoholic felon piece of shit. Going to probation and sitting there in that scummy setting. Day after day after day. You know it will end. But it doesn't feel like it.

-Finally buy my first house and investment property. That was a saga too because we bought a brand new gut rehab duplex off the market with my wife only having a job offer and myself making $15.50/hr. Closing got pushed back a month 6 times. Seller almost backed out. Finally got it. That was a game changer. We went from sleeping sardine style to living in a beautiful 1,800sqft place with a yard and laundry and all that shit. You know what sucks? Coming down to the university laundry room to find my shit in a wet pile 'cause some fuckhead was in a hurry. Rent out the bottom unit for $200 short of my mortgage.
-Somehow successfully complete probation
-Start my company while working. Finally quit in the middle of my job being outsourced and getting pushed out on a PIP while being asked to train a dozen Indians to do my job remotely. Walk out with a bunch of proprietary info on a hard drive. Later trade it for a signed non-disparagement by the CFO in case I ever want to do W-2 shit again.
-Now I have a doper house, doper cars, dope life, dope travels, relationship with my wife is great; somehow, she stayed with me. Business is going great. Life is going great. Shit it awesome. Like really, really good. I bought my mom a house and she's really happy. I convinced her to leave her shitbag husband. We talk on the phone almost every day. And she's like besties with my wife. I'm really happy. Only thing is, I'm still in chronic pain. But I don't even give a shit anymore. I'm just trying to get rich enough to shoot stem cells into my fucking spine.

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

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Most Helpful
Oct 13, 2018

I'll make another recommendation if you're on some 'woe is me' shit: Study human suffering throughout history. Go read Man's Search For Meaning. Go read about the Bataan Death March. Go read Maus for fuck's sake. Understand that human potential is limitless and that people with far fewer resources than yourself have overcome far greater obstacles for far greater lengths of time. So recognize those shitty emotions, but then recognize that you are a human being with a heart and a mind and a soul your will shall not be trampled. Take control of your emotions. Pin them to the floor and examine them. Then take action based on rational examination of all facts hand - and also of your emotions. Walk through the flames with your shoulders back and your head held high. Do not allow discomfort to be the reason you don't do something you want to accomplish. Just do not allow it. Make the decision that you will die before allowing your weakness to break your will. And really make that decision. Be ready for death.

Another great driver I've found is anger and resentment. Anger at society, your fellow man, maybe your family, your father; everybody who'd ever told you that - or acted like - you wouldn't be shit. Who thought that following societal norms was the correct path and anybody who deviated was a moron. Anybody who'd ever rejected you. These are all indirect slights. Direct slights must be reacted to with immense and disproportionate aggression so as to prevent future ones. But indirect slights can be reacted to by slowly and quietly becoming better than that person in every way imaginable. Better than everyone. Better than your previous self day after day. And never stopping. When you're tired or you feel like you "deserve" a break... "What makes you say that you stupid entitled little bitch? That you're owed a god damn thing? Work harder!" you say to yourself. And you carry on. The enemy is out there. Some you've met and some you have yet to meet. Some, you don't even remember. Some, you'll never meet. They are an ideological enemy. But even that enemy must see you succeed in such a spectacular fashion that they are left with no choice but to realize that they are, after all, the piece of shit. And you are the winner.

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

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Oct 13, 2018