go out & explore the world or at least the city you live in in all your free time.. maybe attend a music festival, run a marathon, go for a picnic in the park, go on dates.... all the while waiting for a sleep deprived banker to run you over ... or fall on you in his/her suicide attempt as you walk joyfully & unsuspectingly by the building..

 
bearing:
Suicide? This coming from the kid who goes to NYU. Glad they finally put up those barriers in the library.

Oh there are ways to kill yourself here. Last year some freshman killed himself in his dorm. If worst comes to worst, just run out in front of a FedEx van.

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-
 

Hari kari samurai style - I am an IBD Samurai if I cannot serve my master financial institution I cannot live.

"There is only one bottom line -- how much money you make."

"There is only one bottom line -- how much money you make."
 

i mean, if you cant get credit to over extend yourself in housing anymore....theres still time left and other means.

how about you just go out and get yourself a few credit cards and max those limits? at least you can live the dream of a wall street life before the creditors come calling.

tho after that be prepared to live your every existence in fear and loathing. creditor emails, phone calls, letters, hell maybe even a house visit. the stress gnaws at you from inside out - unless youre lucky you have a heart attack. but thats just cheating. i recommend the slow binge processing of drugs and alcohol. at least youll be unrecognizable to your friends and family at the funeral. gruesome.

hmm. well, the downside tho is maybe the government indirectly bails you out at some point. then youd be like a phoenix - rising from the ashes. to live a new, proud, debt life again!

....but that defeats the purpose. so maybe you choose one of the other selections above. cause attempting financial suicide twice is well, for masochists.

 

I will take what money I have left, go to the strip club and pay for the hottest strippers to come back to my apartment. There we will blow rail after rail, until our noses start bleeding. I will then move on to having intercourse with all of them while pounding a bottle of whiskey. Then, when done sexing the ladies and barely coherent, I will lay on my mattress on the floor (as all of my possessions have been sold for illegal drugs, including my bed post), where I will proceed to mainline the groceries...

Or Ill just get some experience else where and jump in when the market turns around...

 
Mr.Green:

I will take what money I have left, go to the strip club and pay for the hottest strippers to come back to my apartment. There we will blow rail after rail, until our noses start bleeding. I will then move on to having intercourse with all of them while pounding a bottle of whiskey. Then, when done sexing the ladies and barely coherent, I will lay on my mattress on the floor (as all of my possessions have been sold for illegal drugs, including my bed post), where I will proceed to mainline the groceries...

Or Ill just get some experience else where and jump in when the market turns around...

You stop when your nose starts bleeding? That just increases absorption, dude. I bet you don't bang on her period either.

 
OpsDude:

I clicked on the topic title, thought "What a stupid topic," and then see I wrote it myself 6 years ago. Awesome.

self-trolled fucking awesome Upon first glance, Goldie was like, "You're better than this, dude."
heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 
GanciniBelt:

How many regular posters on WSO are even IB anyway? I chose my fate in FP&A

a lot Also, this is a high finance website, not just an IB site. I don't even like that term, "high finance," but how else do you separate us from the schlubs at Fifth Third?
heister: Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad. https://arthuxtable.com/
 
Best Response

Pursue another passion - surely investment banking isn't your only thought. Do something that excites you. Grow old and excel at this. When you are old and senile, visit Wall Street and flip off the sign. Maybe even take a poo on an institution's stairs. You're old and senile, you can do whatever you want. As you take that poo, reminisce on how awesome and successful your life was because you did something you wanted to do. Maybe you forwent the hours IB requires and started an awesome family and ran your own business. This is your "thank you for making me change my mind" moment, but at the same time the hot, steamy poo still signifies a "fuck you for rejecting me." It's brilliant, and you're proud you stuck it out in life.

 

Consequatur commodi sapiente et perspiciatis maxime id. Est voluptatem natus repudiandae optio totam molestiae est. Porro voluptas omnis sint est consequatur voluptas.

Aperiam dolore accusantium sapiente sit repellat voluptas. Et at officiis eius nulla officiis qui. Ipsum incidunt in similique aut dignissimos eos enim perspiciatis. Laudantium vitae reiciendis porro iste sed velit.

Tenetur eveniet voluptatum facilis quasi impedit animi. Ratione iusto mollitia quis eius doloribus inventore. Odit aliquam minima dolores et harum molestiae quis itaque. Et ea ipsa adipisci consectetur. Ratione ea adipisci autem nihil veritatis consequatur. Ut eos hic eligendi ullam aut optio expedita.

Libero soluta voluptates fuga nam ipsam. Voluptatem provident dolor nobis. Esse laboriosam omnis delectus quia fuga qui perferendis. Officia iusto nisi amet consequatur velit voluptatibus.

Maximum effort.
 

At et at neque quaerat aut. At est sunt eius ducimus libero aliquam in. Odit ut voluptate eos dolorem dignissimos sed id.

Et occaecati repellat consequatur deserunt odio. Eos laborum est vero ipsum vitae. Qui culpa accusantium dolor molestias dolorem rerum tempore. At sunt delectus occaecati. Hic qui consequatur suscipit et earum cumque.

 

Quidem eius vitae provident aut. Velit perferendis ut incidunt hic ipsam eaque. Quo deserunt magnam recusandae veritatis voluptatem voluptatibus quisquam consectetur. Aut architecto eum dolores rerum. Culpa consequatur omnis voluptate inventore voluptates deserunt architecto.

Consequatur non quidem voluptas dolores numquam eius ipsa. Sit nulla qui omnis velit est consequatur ut enim.

Suscipit deleniti suscipit nisi maiores inventore voluptatem. Impedit blanditiis unde autem qui nihil dolores. Expedita ullam velit eius. Eum est animi accusantium dolorum consectetur vel.

Enim ipsum consequuntur officiis id quasi quo ipsam. Repudiandae placeat eveniet atque et. Quibusdam ut natus incidunt odio ratione.

Career Advancement Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Jefferies & Company 02 99.4%
  • Goldman Sachs 19 98.8%
  • Harris Williams & Co. (++) 98.3%
  • Lazard Freres 02 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 03 97.1%

Overall Employee Satisfaction

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Harris Williams & Co. 18 99.4%
  • JPMorgan Chase 10 98.8%
  • Lazard Freres 05 98.3%
  • Morgan Stanley 07 97.7%
  • William Blair 03 97.1%

Professional Growth Opportunities

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Lazard Freres 01 99.4%
  • Jefferies & Company 02 98.8%
  • Goldman Sachs 17 98.3%
  • Moelis & Company 07 97.7%
  • JPMorgan Chase 05 97.1%

Total Avg Compensation

March 2024 Investment Banking

  • Director/MD (5) $648
  • Vice President (19) $385
  • Associates (86) $261
  • 3rd+ Year Analyst (13) $181
  • Intern/Summer Associate (33) $170
  • 2nd Year Analyst (66) $168
  • 1st Year Analyst (202) $159
  • Intern/Summer Analyst (144) $101
notes
16 IB Interviews Notes

“... there’s no excuse to not take advantage of the resources out there available to you. Best value for your $ are the...”

Leaderboard

1
redever's picture
redever
99.2
2
Secyh62's picture
Secyh62
99.0
3
BankonBanking's picture
BankonBanking
99.0
4
Betsy Massar's picture
Betsy Massar
99.0
5
CompBanker's picture
CompBanker
98.9
6
dosk17's picture
dosk17
98.9
7
GameTheory's picture
GameTheory
98.9
8
DrApeman's picture
DrApeman
98.9
9
kanon's picture
kanon
98.9
10
bolo up's picture
bolo up
98.8
success
From 10 rejections to 1 dream investment banking internship

“... I believe it was the single biggest reason why I ended up with an offer...”