What to do to get over having missed out on the social fun and thrills of college?
Whats up WSO crew.
So I'll jump right to it. On paper, it seems like my life has come a long way since I first joined this forum. I went from working for barely anything and an unemployable major to securing a nice sales role that does not have me worrying about money as much.
I won't waste the whole thread giving the story to my college years other than they sucked socially and I missed out on a lot of the fun social shit (parties, lots of friends, hookups, sorority formals, list goes on).
Now I am in my mid-twenties and feel like I need to do something before I get too old in order to have at least some fun or social thrills. I have this strong urge to do something fun in my twenties so I have something great to look back on like most kids have an awesome college experience to look back on.
The only thing I can think of right now is trying to get a second job at a nightclub or bar, I know bartender is going to be a stretch but maybe nightclub promoter or something of the sort. These sorts of jobs were huge back at my university for anyone that wanted to be a part of the party scene.
I know it is a lot to do but current job has me working 40 to 50 hours and I am on a board full of bankers, you guys work 80 hours so my current work hours are a joke compared to what you guys are at. I am thinking fitting in that sort of a second job on top of my 9 to 5 will at least get me an additional source of income as well as some great experiences.
Trying to wonder what else I can do to redeem myself in my twenties. Would love some serious ideas for anyone that might have gone through this and come back.
Not every college experience is filled with fun, parties, (..). But since you are still relatively young there are quite a few options - do a part-time degree or additional classes to advance your skill set. you'd be part of the "college scene" while still in your 20s. - if you don't want to study any longer, hang out in the typical college bars, clubs, movies, and restaurants. You'll eventually run into the sorority girls you didn't get to experience earlier in life. At around 25 you won't be super young, but not ancient either. I don't think you would have to work there to be part of the scene. If you make the right friends they'll take you along / invite you. - if it is hookups you are after, there are the typical gyms, cafes, bars, hangout spots, beaches, rivers, lakes, etc where they will be. Just hang around these hot spots and with some game you'll be alright. - do you have younger friends who are at the local college(s)? Ask them to invite you? - If you studied at the local school try to engage with alumni groups and join activities, this is more "serious" and not "just fun", but at least you will be around younger folks. - There are also jobs at the universities that can be part-time, depending on how much into academics you are or what skills you have. This is more of a long shot but I had jobs at colleges when I was younger and met quite a few students that way (this was after I started working).
Have a silver banana because you did give advice and I love that.
As for my goal, I feel like I need to get away from a college setting itself because it brings in too many bad memories and I do feel like 25 is kind of old to be around undergrads. I know I don't have to work at a bar to make friends but I feel like people are real picky about their friends and usually come with a crew anyways so working at a bar part time will help...
25 is not "kind of old to be around undergrads." You sound like you lack confidence. Going to need to change that if you want to have more of a social life now.
Did you do a Gumball?
We did two - back in the day when nobody knew what a rally was! They were a lot cheaper as well (plus they allowed external sponsorships). Best time we ever had with cars, nothing else came even close.
This is what grad school is about.
You should be over all that loser nightlife shit by now...
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This. Nightlife is not all models and bottles glam. You also missed out on blowing your money, hangovers, DUIs/DWIs, and tons of other problems.
That said, there is plenty of time. 22 and 25 are a moot point. You're far from old. Go ball at the local college bar and you'll see that you didn't miss much at all.
Actually, it is a pretty big goal for my in my twenties to somehow get a chance at working at a nightclub or bar or being a part of that scene.
Just move to NYC.
That is HUGE on my bucket list, hear that NYC is almost like college in your 20s. Worry is by the time I have had the options to get a nice gig there, I will be in my late 20s, hopefully I can still fit in.
I'm in the same boat as you. I am also in my mid-twenties, and for a while I felt frustrated that I was missing out on "all the cool experiences everyone else is having". I think most people are faking it, to a degree - social media and television/film are so pervasive and give a false impression that everyone else is having a better life than we are. For most of my life, older people have been telling me that life doesn't really start until your 30's and even 40's. So I decided that instead of living with regret and disappointment right now, I will use this time to advance my career and set myself up for a great future. People will still want to socialize and have fun later, so I want to maximize my potential and prepare for a life I can really call my own.
My issue with people saying life doesn't really start until your 30s and even 40s is how are you supposed to find community at those ages? So many of your friends are married with kids and it feels strange being a single guy in your 30s. I am not saying you can't land a date or anything but everything is unfortunately so family oriented instead of fun like your twenties which is why I am having my quarter-life crisis.
The only thing I'd be worried about for you is that you can't go back and recreate relationships or alter college memories. You'll make friends if you keep putting yourself out there. But being worried about not having partied enough is just missing the point. The only thing important about having partied throughout college is if you come away with lasting friendships and memories. Plus, you're never too old to party if you think it's that important. Just look at Gianluca Vacchi. Fucker doesn't care if he has a heart attack
I agree with you and that is my aim, but the ultimate aim is to have fun party friends for me which is so tough to do after college. Everyone already downed their alcohol in college and after college, everyone has "grown up". As someone who missed out on college, it is tough for me to relate to the "look I am so grown up now at the age of 25" crowd. That is why I am trying to see if I can get some sort of a gig in nightlife whether it is bartender or club promoter.
Go to the gym --> Get yoked --> Go on Tinder --> Smash
This helps a little but definitely isn't flawless
Get drunk, travel, pick up women (or men). I’m middle aged and have exponentially more fun than when I was younger.
The fact college is equated with partying is symbolic of the problem wit student loan debt in this country.
I rather keep it American although I will say that I have done what you said. Must say one thing, for being the "land of the free", my travels have shown me that Americans are extremely uptight about things like sex, drinking and partying. This thing is even worse in the south with all the morally self-righteous Bible thumpers.
One word: Travel. Go someplace where the dollar is strong. I'd recommend Thailand and the Full Moon Party. If that scene isn't your speed or cost isn't a big deal there's always Ibiza. Do a group tour and make some awesome friends. I prefer South America though as Brazil's nightlife is insane.
Try to stay at party hostels. You'll meet a ton of like minded internationals in the 20-26 age range, the hookups sort off fall into your lap (the girls are far away from home and have no peer set judging them), and you get to throw in some adventure as you go. I was able to extend the fun I had in undergrad another 5-6 years this way. The downside is my game in the states has become terrible. You won't have the patience any longer for entitled chicks back home.
The cherry on top is that it's also really nice to travel when you've no financial worries.
Now this I can get on board with, always want to find the fun party people and I feel like there is a lot of benefit to making some cool friends around my age at this point, especially in the future if I ever have to move abroad.
Pull a Rodney and Go Back to School.
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