What would you say if an MD asked you to make him laugh?

Intern in IB - Gen

Was on a networking call with an MD at a top tier bank (think MS/GS/JPM) and got asked this...I didn't know what to say so I said "I'm not really funny."

Honestly I was expecting (and was prepared for) industry questions or mental math so this really threw me off. Not sure I'll get an interview having answered like that. Would appreciate your help so I know how to handle it if it comes up again.

Comments (116)

  • Prospect in IB-M&A
Jan 7, 2020

Tell a fucking joke mate

    • 15
  • Intern in IB - Gen
Jan 7, 2020

What kind of joke though? Think a joke that doesn't make him laugh is better than what I said? This just felt like a trap to say something inappropriate.

Jan 7, 2020

play it safe, man. go for something kinda funny that sounds clever. something like:

why did pavlov have such nice hair?
he conditioned it.

Thank you for your interest in the 2020 Investment Banking Full-time Analyst Programme (London) at JPMorgan Chase. After a thorough review of your application, we regret to inform you that we are unable to move forward with your candidacy at this time.

    • 9
    • 1
Jan 10, 2020

"What did 50 Cent say to his grandmother when she made him a sweater?"
"Gee, you knit?"

    • 5
    • 1
Jan 10, 2020

tell me a joke:

DB is a bulge bracket

    • 5
Jan 21, 2020

What he said is kind of a joke. He made a self deprecating remark.

Follow the shit your fellow monkeys say @shitWSOsays

Life is hard, it's even harder when you're stupid - John Wayne

Jan 7, 2020

Always have a dead baby joke tee'd up, read to go.

    • 16
  • Intern in IB - Gen
Jan 7, 2020

I feel like that wouldn't have helped me at all to be honest.

Jan 7, 2020

Gotta shoot your shot

    • 2
Jan 10, 2020

JUSTINE TOBIN, ADOLF HITLER, and JOHN BOLTON walk into a bar.

Justine Tobin says to Hitler: "Thank you, I've learned a lot from your labor extraction methods, you truly are an inspiration."

Hitler replies: "Tobin sounds like a Jewish name."

John Bolton says: "OMG Adolf I love your mustache, let's kill millions of civilians in Iran together!"

    • 2
Jan 15, 2020

edit

Funniest
Jan 7, 2020

You should have said "OK Boomer"

    • 79
    • 1
  • Intern in IB - Gen
Jan 7, 2020

Smh. If you're not going to be helpful, don't comment.

    • 1
    • 69
Most Helpful
Jan 8, 2020

Lol this is exactly why you could not answer the MD question and why you will end up flipping burgers in McDonalds: you are salty as fuck and you have 0 sense or humor.

You should look for a quant role.

Array

    • 59
    • 2
Jan 10, 2020

This guy on LinkedIn: "I can't express how excited, honored and happy I am about receiving a full time offer from ____. This 'college' thing was tough but man was it worth it....etc."

He'll probably include salary as well.

Also, you type the way my mother would after texting her a joke that turns into a lesson.

TLDR: Classic Intern

    • 3
Jan 10, 2020

if you don't want to be POUNDED IN THE ASS don't comment

    • 2
Jan 7, 2020

this is what you should have done:
you: "you want to know why i want to work at your bank"
him: "no, why?"
you: [in the batman voice] "the city of [insert city name] needs me, I'm batman"

    • 5
    • 2
Jan 7, 2020

MD: proceeds to have HR blacklist the candidate at all banks in the city

Thank you for your interest in the 2020 Investment Banking Full-time Analyst Programme (London) at JPMorgan Chase. After a thorough review of your application, we regret to inform you that we are unable to move forward with your candidacy at this time.

    • 34
Jan 8, 2020

another idea is to tell him to go fuck himself

    • 3
Jan 9, 2020

i was gonna tag you in this thread but had forgot your username

WSO's COO (Chief Operating Orangutan) | My Linkedin

    • 1
Jan 9, 2020

haha

Jan 7, 2020

The only place where girls are happy that their profile was viewed by a 45 year old+ man is .... LinkedIn

    • 14
  • Analyst 1 in IB-M&A
Jan 8, 2020

I was on the same boat when a Managing Partner said I just have a few seconds left, tell me a joke. I was caught off guard and couldn't come up with one but in the spur of the moment, I told him I can surprise him with a fun fact instead which he was happy to hear. Again, not the best response but I didn't wanna end the interview on a bad note. Going forward, I always keep a joke in the back of my mind whenever I go for an interview or a coffee chat. I did get the offer eventually and sent a joke in the thank you note to the Partner and he liked it. Not going to be a deciding factor but helps to start off on the right foot with a senior.

  • Intern in IB - Gen
Jan 8, 2020

What was the funny fact? Congrats on the offer mate.

Jan 8, 2020

As a junior, you ALWAYS need to have a couple of jokes. Basic life knowledge.Saying "I'm not really funny" is basically the worst response you could give. Even the dumbest joke that's not funny is better because then at least he could laugh with how not funny your joke was.

    • 1
  • Intern in IB - Gen
Jan 8, 2020

You're right. Always take the first stab as a junior smh.

Jan 8, 2020

Force a laugh if you don't have a joke on hand. Like just start laughing yourself. Laughing like yawning is contagious and the MD asked you to make him laugh not necessarily to be funny.

    • 1
    • 1
Jan 16, 2020

seems like psychopathic behavior if you ask me

"Truth is like poetry. And most people fucking hate poetry."

Jan 17, 2020

What matters is the end result not the means to get to that end result lol.

Jan 8, 2020

I got asked this in an interview and said "my resume is the only joke i have" then handed her my resume.

It worked. They are trying to see if you are witty and quick on your feet

    • 8
Jan 8, 2020

I would tell you a joke about (insert your local) post, but I am not sure you would get it.

  • Intern in IB - Gen
Jan 8, 2020

over my head

    • 1
Jan 8, 2020

just pull out WeWork's investor presentation

    • 8
  • Intern in IB - Gen
Jan 8, 2020

Ah, yes, I see it now. Hypothetical interview outcome with this joke is up and to the right. Guaranteed offer. Bag secured.

    • 1
Jan 8, 2020

Q: What was the best part of the Playboy IPO?

A: The pictures in the CIM / CIP!

My soul is highly leveraged

    • 2
Jan 8, 2020

Bookmarked

Gun rights activist
    • 1
  • Analyst 1 in IA
Jan 8, 2020

i don't have a good joke but did you hear Steve Harvey and his wife got in a fight?

Yeah, it was a real family feud

    • 1
  • Intern in IB - Gen
Jan 8, 2020

Agree that you don't have a good joke ;)

Jan 8, 2020

You know sometimes when you leave a parking lot, the security would ask you to tell him a joke, and I always say this:

You are handsome :)

Jan 8, 2020

Are you this man's fucking court jester? Walk out of that role immediately if you aspire to respect yourself. This is called a shit test. It's something petty women do to efficiently weed out unconfident and overeager men. A grown man just did it to you.

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

    • 10
Jan 8, 2020

Little surprised I had to scroll this far for this type of response.

My gut reaction is, "This is an investment banking interview, so I didn't prepare any jokes and I don't perform on command. If you're just looking to hire a f**king monkey the zoo's thataway."

Jan 8, 2020

I would have told him a joke. Does this mean I fail the shit test? I always suspected I was a beta cuck.

    • 7
Jan 9, 2020
earthwalker7:

I would have told him a joke. Does this mean I fail the shit test? I always suspected I was a beta cuck.

Everything exists on a spectrum, doesn't it?

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

    • 1
Jan 17, 2020

Good way to guarantee not getting an offer. This is a reasonable question because it (1) gives you the chance to show your sense of humor / prove that you might not be the worst person in the world to get stuck in an airport with, and (2) ensures they don't hire someone who would provide an inappropriate joke (racist, sexist, religion-bashing, etc.), as they'd be likely to do the same thing in front of a client.

Jan 8, 2020

"Sir I have an erection right now and cannot think of a joke"

    • 6
Jan 8, 2020

What's the difference between a garbonzo bean and a chickpea?

I've never paid $200 to have a garbonzo bean on my face.

    • 24
Jan 8, 2020

An i-banker gets on a plane and sits in the aisle next to a lawyer, and a PE guy. He takes off his shoes and stretches out, to get comfy for the flight. The lawyer says "Can you let me get out. I want to get a Coke." Ibanker jumps up and says "No problem. I'll get if for you." And as soon as he trots off, the lawyer takes one of his shoes and spits in it with vigor. Ibanker comes back and the PE guy says "Hey mate, I'd also like one. Mind if I get past ya?" "Buddy, no worries, I'll get if for you," says the accommodating ibanker. Sure enough, soon as he leaves the PE guy hocks some major loogies right int the ibanker's other shoe. The banker comes back, the lawyer and PE guy enjoy their Cokes and the ibanker gets in a quick sleep. When they land, the ibanker puts on his shoes and immediately realizes what happened.
"Guys, why must there be so much animosity between our industries. All this spitting in shoes, and pissing in Cokes," says the ibanker.

    • 20
Jan 8, 2020

This is good hahaha.

Array

Jan 8, 2020

The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I'll will make it so that you win every case. You will become wealthy and famous. Your partners will love you and your clients will always respect you In return you must give me your soul, your wife's soul, your children's souls, and the souls of all of your friends and neighbors." The lawyer thought for a moment, and asks, "But what's the catch?"

    • 5
Jan 8, 2020

Why did New York get all the ibanks and New Jersey get all the toxic waste?

New Jersey got first pick.

    • 4
Jan 8, 2020

An MD, an associate, and an analyst are walking on the street and one of them trips over a magic lamp, releasing the genie. The genie says "I only grant 3 wishes, so I'll give each of you just one wish."
The analyst says "I want to be in the Bahamas, riding a speedboat with a gorgeous supermodel on my arm." Poof, the analystdisappears.
The associate says "Oh me next! I want to be in Europe with my fiance, on an eternal vacation." Poof, he disappears.

The MD says "I want those lazy fucks back at the desk right after lunch."

    • 18
Jan 8, 2020

earth you're a great addition to this forum, i love you. on the other spectrum, you have me stirring up shit and getting everyone on board to attack the OP of any thread

What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.

Jan 8, 2020

I love you too Jamie. Sincerely. And I apologize if I got someone attacking an OP. Generally not my intention. It's my accidental asshole nature.

Jan 9, 2020

What's the difference between jam and marmalade? I can't marmalade my cock in your wife's ass.

    • 4
  • Intern in IB - Gen
Jan 9, 2020

That's raw dawg (pun intended)

    • 1
Jan 9, 2020

Epstein did kill himself

  • Intern in IB - Gen
Jan 9, 2020

Truuuuuuuuuuu

  • Assist. VP in IB - Gen
Jan 9, 2020

This is a bold question but his trying to test your ability to entertain a client. So always have some nasty jokes in your pocket

Jan 9, 2020

Also it's a way to see how the candidate will react to being challenged with the unexpected and think on their feet. He probably want to see if you'll get flustered / emotional, or if you'll sit back, pause, and come up with some joke under pressure, or at least play it off with a confident smile and say "at the moment, no joke comes to mind, but I've got a funny story I can share" or something like that.

  • Incoming Analyst in IB - Gen
Jan 9, 2020

Its an MD and an interviewee in a room, the MD asks the interviewer for his best joke.
The interviewee has no joke in mind and says sorry I don't have a joke...
The MD tells him that he cannot give an offer to someone that doesn't know any jokes.
So the interviewee tells him this story and the MD has a good laugh!

    • 1
  • Intern in IB - Gen
Jan 9, 2020

Genius - art imitates life

Jan 9, 2020

wow. Very meta.

Jan 17, 2020

yes but I'm not sure outsmarting/embarrassing your MD will get you an offer lol

Jan 9, 2020

Johnny, Joe, and Jack were all in sunday school. The nun asked them to explain what body part would go through the pearly gates first when they got to heaven.

Johnny replies that you must walk right in leading with your heat because god is in your heart.

Joe replies that you must dive in head first, because when you pray you thinking and using your brain.

Jack replies that you must go in feet first. The nun is a little confused and asks Jack "Why you would go in feet first?

Jack answers, "Well M'am I walked into my parents room last night and my moms feet were up in the air and she was screaming "Oh god I'm coming, I'm coming!"

    • 1
Jan 9, 2020

"Three guys were sitting at a bar... "

Jan 9, 2020

From Norm McDonald:
"So a moth walks into a podiatrists office. After walking in, the podiatrist looks at him for awhile and then says "What seems to be the problem, moth?" The moth says "What's the problem? Where do I begin, man? I go to work for Gregory Illinivich, and all day long I work. Honestly doc, I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I don't even know if Gregory Illinivich knows. He only knows that he has power over me, and that seems to bring him happiness. But I don't know, I wake up in a malaise, and I walk here and there... at night I...I sometimes wake up and I turn to some old lady in my bed that's on my arm. A lady that I once loved, doc. I don't know where to turn to. My youngest, Alexendria, she fell in the...in the cold of last year. The cold took her down, as it did many of us. And my other boy, and this is the hardest pill to swallow, doc. My other boy, Gregarro Ivinalititavitch... I no longer love him. As much as it pains me to say, when I look in his eyes, all I see is the same cowardice that I... that I catch when I take a glimpse of my own face in the mirror. Doc, sometimes I feel like a spider, even though I'm a moth, just barely hanging on to my web with an everlasting fire underneath me. I'm not feeling good. And so the doctor says, "Moth, man, you're troubled. But you should be seeing a psychiatrist. Why on earth did you come here?" And the moth says, "'Cause the light was on."

    • 2
Jan 9, 2020

Uncle Hector you damned fool, that's Kitschner Leslie's girlfriend!

Jan 9, 2020

Wanna hear a joke? My resume.

Jan 9, 2020
Madisonave:

Wanna hear a joke? My resume.

heh

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/

Jan 9, 2020

Sorry I thought we already covered what school I go to

  • Prospect in IB - Gen
Jan 9, 2020

"I asked my friend in North Korea how he was doing. He said he couldn't complain."

    • 5
Jan 10, 2020

PM for solid M&A joke

    • 1
Jan 10, 2020

is it possible to fast track to associate with my 2.0 GPA from a state school?

Jan 10, 2020

I would tell him the cringe joke I made up when I was 13.

a manager gets promoted to become a senior manager at google. a few seconds after, he gets fired. why?

... because he yelled: "YAHOOOOO!".

gotta save the good ones for the partners.

Jan 11, 2020

Is this just me or does this seem fucked up to people?? "Make me laugh" lol might as well tell everyone to suck his dick

You on the other hand, try not to overthink this kinda stuff? I'd throw a sassy joke or, if you have the balls, tell him humor isn't forged if he really needs to he's gotta have to assess when you're on the desk

Jan 11, 2020

My first reaction was, "There is nothing funnier than watching someone selling something incompetent. So if I walk you through my resume now, you'll have a good laugh."
(But surely it's fucking not a wise response)

Array

Jan 11, 2020

My response would be (in a British accent):
I am the Knight who says "Ni!"
And I demaaaand an interview.

Jan 11, 2020

"What is the difference between a Leveraged Fin. banker and a pigeon after '08? A pigeon can still drop a deposit on a Porsche".

Jan 13, 2020

What's the fastest way to become a millionaire?

Start a billionaire and run an airline.

Jan 14, 2020

I agree with the others who advise to always have a few good jokes chambered, the best part is that in order to commit to memory, you have to practice. Here are my favorites (currently):

Family friendly:
1) Have you heard about the new restaurant on the moon? Great food, but no atmosphere
2) A buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says "make me one with everything."

Not Family friendly:
1) A guy walks into his house with a duck underneath his arm and says "so this is the pig I've been fucking." His wife says "Uh honey... that's not a pig, it's a duck." He says, "I wasn't talking to you."
2) An 8 year old and a child molester and walking into the woods. As they continue walking, it gets darker and darker. The 8 year-old turns to the child molester and says "hey, it's getting dark and we keep going deeper into the woods, I'm getting kinda scared." The molester says, "you're scared? I'm the one who has to walk out of here alone."

    • 2
Jan 15, 2020

I bought a kayak recently...
the salesman asked me which paddle I wanted.

....I said either or.

Jan 15, 2020

Pull your dick out.

That'll probably make everyone laugh :)

Jan 15, 2020

I knew I guy who was repairing his exhaust and ended up chopping his thump off.
He left his thumb in his rear-end.

(my dad said that joke to his ex-wife's family....hence the ex)

Jan 15, 2020

Now that I've been getting older, I've been watching a lot of the History Channel.

I haven't finished one of those hitler documentaries, but I hear he used to put sugar in his red wine... that has to be in the top 3 worst things he's ever done.

Jan 16, 2020

Well tell a really dry dad joke they will either love it or hate but it's a safe pick if your feeling gutsy make a joke about yourself!

Jan 16, 2020

Her: How come I always go down on you, but you never go down on me?

Him: My financial adviser told me not to.

Her: Your financial adviser told you not to lick my pussy?

Him: Yeah. He said if I keep eating out all the time, I'll always be broke

Jan 17, 2020
Comment
    • 1
Jan 30, 2020
Comment

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

    • 3
Jan 19, 2020