When do you see yourself getting MARRIED?

Wondering when you wsoasis guys & gals see yourself getting married?
25? 30? 35? 40? 45? ....never?
To what kind of woman/man in general?

If never I would like to know why (I find this anthropological topic kind of interesting)

 

Probably 26 or so. Alright discussed it with the girl and neither of us are in a rush. Could wait until 27+ but at that point, why wait?

CompBanker’s Career Guidance Services: https://www.rossettiadvisors.com/
 

i love it - i'm a guy and was thinking pre-30 (but the closer i get to 30, the less i want to ...)

as a guy, things just seem to get better and better -

 

riemann, if you're going to be 40 how old is the lady going to be? It's going to be difficult for a woman to give you a child at that age, and even if you manage it there would be a higher risk of complications (although mothers at that age would be better/more mature)

I'm thinking I'll be around 35 and she'll be around 30. And we'll give birth to our child or children while she's in her early 30s.

 

I'm hoping before thirty.

Thought deadjackal, my father was 40 when I was born and my mother thirty.

********"Babies don't cost money, they MAKE money." - Jerri Blank********

********"Babies don't cost money, they MAKE money." - Jerri Blank********
 

Interesting you guys think you can time this stuff. What if you don't meet the right person? A woman can have a complicated pregnancy just as much in her 20s as in her 30s/40s. Actually I'd argue that women in their 30s take better care of themselves and when they're ready to have children, they're not just more mature and emotionally ready, but they're also more financially and physically better prepared. Just my two cents.

 

26-30, preferably at the earlier end. Would like to marry someone who is about 7 years older. Went on a date with a guy 8 years older last weekend, was amazing and think I can no longer date men my age.

 

I've dated younger girls, actually my current gf is a bit younger. Sometimes it can be good but if theres too much of a gap. Depends how old really. 21 out of uni and a 28 miht not have much in common but 24 and a 30 year old am sure is ok. So why would you not date a anyone your age, what did you find was a lot better with an older guy.

 

pshaw...fp...I ALWAYS date older!! I've dated a few younger guys, what a mess!! lol! I notice their insecurities more.

Plus the older theyb are.......the better they are....not too old though. The biggest age difference I had was 14 years. I prefer someone whose like 5 or so years older than I.

********"Babies don't cost money, they MAKE money." - Jerri Blank********

********"Babies don't cost money, they MAKE money." - Jerri Blank********
 

Probably around 30-35. Personally, I'd like to marry a girl who is 20-25. They're nice and ripe at that age. What's the point of marrying a 30 year old hag who's just about to go downhill physically ?

 

The only kind of 20 year old girls who want to get married to a 30+ investment banker are one of the following:

  1. golddiggers
  2. college drop-outs/never attended college
  3. Mormon/conservative Christian
 
Seanc:
Well, Obviously I'll try to avoid those types. She'd have to be a college graduate at the least. Women over 27-28 are past their sell-by date.

So you'd marry a 20 year old and then dump her for another 20 year old when she's reached the sell-by date? Makes no sense.

For the record, I'm 23, so I'm not taking this position out of bitterness. In fact, I suspect most guys who say this crap are the ones that women like me are ignoring for more interesting, less insecure guys in their late 20s/early 30s.

 

All I'm saying is that I'd rather get a few good years out of her than none at all.

I don't understand how you interpreted my position as insecurity. You don't agree that a 30 year old woman is past her prime ?

 
fp175:
For the record, I'm 23, so I'm not taking this position out of bitterness. In fact, I suspect most guys who say this crap are the ones that women like me are ignoring for more interesting, less insecure guys in their late 20s/early 30s.

It's interesting that you say that. I avoid those guys as well and mentioned it to the guys at work today and they told me that "I had high standards" and that I should "go out with everyone". lol.

What a man response. lol. ********"Babies don't cost money, they MAKE money." - Jerri Blank********

********"Babies don't cost money, they MAKE money." - Jerri Blank********
 

Seanc has a point. I think 35 and 25 are good numbers (more than that and ppl might comment)

fp175: Why the hell would you care if your girl didn't attend college or is ultra christian. As long as she's kind/devoted, etc. She doesn't have to do Calculus (or even algebra) or read Shakespeare (or even anything above the elem school level)...

Going to college is just a slight plus b/c of social stigma.

P.S.- Golddigers can apply too assumming they're extra beautiful/feminine.

 
wannabeaballer:
What do you want to do on the weekends? If this decision is important to you, then don't get married.
otherwise when your friends ask what you're doing for the weekend, the standard response will be "I haven't asked my wife yet."
 

One of the guys back in my first summer class was actually already married during undergrad. His wife wasn't in the city with him over the summer, and I know he took a full-time role in a different division within the firm that offered no improvement in work-life balance. He was a singularly committed guy though, you could see a much greater level of maturity and gravitas in the way he carried himself.

Don't personally know any analysts who are married.

I am permanently behind on PMs, it's not personal.
 

I married a girl that I started dating when I was an analyst. It worked because she was working nearly as many hours as me, although in a completely different industry. We'd just hang out late at night when we were each off work.

We broke up twice over the years for differing reasons, but it wasn't related to the hours I was working. Being married to her has been awesome because she gets it. She knows why I work the hours that I do, and we have the same long term goals. She is also conservative in personal finance, which i really respect. Her father was an entrepreneur so she gets hard work and sacrifice, granted her dad was successful so she saw the end result of the hard work.

 

Similar situations for me too-- we both work in industries that require long work hours so we spend time when we can and make the most of it.

Finding the right person makes all the difference, make sure you guys are on the same level with everything: finance, kids, etc

And remember it's a give/take battle... Happy wife--happy life

 

Here are my thoughts on three different types of marriage/dating situations:

Two hard workers: I got married during my analyst program and haven't regretted it in the slightest. My wife is a consultant, so long hours during the week don't matter (she is travelling) and she often has to work on the weekend. We are on the same page with the importance of work, strong finances, and just try to maximize our time together.

One Hard Worker, Start during banking: That being said, I know people who have made it work when the other party didn't work long hours, as long as everything was on the table ahead of time. So, couples that start during banking, where everyone knows the deal can work.

One Hard Worker, Transition to Banking: I can't think of any couple I have known that started before banking (or any long hour job) that survived a transition where one half of the couple had long hours and the other didn't. So, if you are dating a marketing major and they are used to seeing you, don't count on it lasting. This can be actually worse for associates coming out of business school. I have seen quite a few ruined marriages/relationships with associates and their wives/kids not knowing what they are getting into.

In summary, you must be in sync on what's important to you. If work isn't on, or near, the top of your lists, then it's probably not going to go well.

--There are stupid questions, so think first.
 
PowerMonkey:
One Hard Worker, Transition to Banking: I can't think of any couple I have known that started before banking (or any long hour job) that survived a transition where one half of the couple had long hours and the other didn't. So, if you are dating a marketing major and they are used to seeing you, don't count on it lasting. This can be actually worse for associates coming out of business school. I have seen quite a few ruined marriages/relationships with associates and their wives/kids not knowing what they are getting into.

This situation can definitely be trickier than the other two you mentioned, but as long as you're very upfront about what to expect before you go down the banking road, it can work. I speak from experience.

 
TNA:
Marriage gets shit on so hardcore on this site it is ridiculous. IMO, the people who think single, rogue life is so bad ass are usually the people who suck at it and idolize it. Being endlessly single is a full time job in and of itself. Something that you don't want to tackle while being a banker for sure.

Don't get married at 22, but if you are 26 - up and meet a great girl, lock it down.

Don't marry a bitch, but also don't be a bitch. So many people complain about their wives while being complete passive women about things. Find a decent women and have a life. Or don't. And you can roll out with me, getting blasted for decades, train wrecking your life. Trust me, it isn't as glorious as you want to believe.

+1

Don't agree with this part though.

The grass isn't always greener and once you hit a certain age you are damaged goods. Trust me, try telling people you are a single 30 year old and see how they react. You are fucked.
I am permanently behind on PMs, it's not personal.
 
Best Response
<span class=keyword_link><a href=/company/trilantic-north-america>TNA</a></span>:
Marriage gets shit on so hardcore on this site it is ridiculous. IMO, the people who think single, rogue life is so bad ass are usually the people who suck at it and idolize it. Being endlessly single is a full time job in and of itself. Something that you don't want to tackle while being a banker for sure.

Don't get married at 22, but if you are 26 - up and meet a great girl, lock it down. The grass isn't always greener and once you hit a certain age you are damaged goods. Trust me, try telling people you are a single 30 year old and see how they react. You are fucked.

Don't marry a bitch, but also don't be a bitch. So many people complain about their wives while being complete passive women about things. Find a decent women and have a life. Or don't. And you can roll out with me, getting blasted for decades, train wrecking your life. Trust me, it isn't as glorious as you want to believe.

I owe you a SB

 
jasper90:
thanks guys, yeah I think im just going to continue dating (same girl) throughout the analyst stint, and if she decides to stay with me through that stint, then she def deserves a boss wedding lol

Yeah dude. Just be honest with her, try and do nice things (flowers, emails, texts) and make the time you have off count. If she sticks around she is a trooper. Don't discount faithfulness man, lot of people pull the ripcord quickly.

 

If you find the right one for you, lock in the profit and marry her.

I was lucky enough to have a distant relationship for most of our dating time. When she moved over (and due to a different issue) I realised I wanted more quality time together. Within 3 months I made a move to a very good team putting in less hours. Sure, I had by that time +6 years experience so it was different than in an analyst role.

It is challenging to have both wife+demanding job, but either there is/you find a way to make it work (as explained afore) or you prioritise. However, if you have luck (and with marriage I tend to believe it is sheer luck) it is the best decision ever.

 

I worked for several years in a tangentially related field (and got engaged) before I started an IB program. I got married during the program, but other than the honeymoon didn't see much of my now wife for a few years. Was it ideal? No. But if you can't make it through a short term and relatively benign problem like working late for two years, that was a sinking ship anyway. Do what feels right.

 
jasper90:
I see all the posts about marriage and to not do it while you're young and just starting out, but out of curiosity, has anyone gotten married before their analyst program or during?

I feel like when you tell your wife you will be working 80+hours, they initially won't believe you, but when you are never home it could create some huge tension

Anyone successfully married or dated the same person through your analyst stint? (not including a long distance relationship...)

Marry and LOSE more than HALF YOUR MONEY...It is a known fact that most women change for the worse after marriage.. You will get less and less sex. Finally she will file for divorce and you will lose all your hard earned money...

 

deadjackal....fp is a female.

Speaking of gold diggers, anyone watch that show "The Real Housewives of the O.C."?

********"Babies don't cost money, they MAKE money." - Jerri Blank********

********"Babies don't cost money, they MAKE money." - Jerri Blank********
 

I think the average age these days is around 30 to get married, people simply want to focus on their careers early before settling down. I find it highly surprising that on a forum full of ibankers/prospective ibankers, people want to get married in their 20s...you would think these type of people are the least likely to get married early on.

Women reach their sexual peaks in their 30s by i think seanc was referring to the looks department. Who the fuck wants a 35 year old wrinkled old hag in heat....

 

For me, 35-40 is a good age to get married and settle down.

  1. Need money for hands-off parenting and schooling [private schools]for the kids so me and my wife can actually have a life....
  2. More financially secure to complement lifestyle, fewer worries, less chance of divorce.
  3. Wife more likely to be more mature [I as well] and be better parents with a more survivable marriage.
  4. I will burn out by the time I'm 40 anyway....
  5. Before that, I will live with the woman I love for four or five years. No need to get hitched when we are undergoing a trial phase.
 

Sternfox has a mature head on his shoulders. Seems like he's thinking about things the right way. I concur with his way of thinking in all respects... except the part I disagree with is the living together for four or five years as a "trial phase".

I'm simply sharing a woman's perspective, but I would never give a man that much time uncommitted. No way, no how.

Also, if a man gives me too much time to think about it, I'd likely not get married. So then, the woman writing this message is likely not getting married until she's knocked up and then it will probably be a fly by the seat of your pants wedding in Vegas by Elvis in a little white chapel. I like the scandalousness of it all :-)

 

Thank you for your kind words, A. But for those of us that are children of divorce and have seen much of the years of unnecessary grief it is different. I would try my best to prevent such a situation from ever happening to my own children. I personally had a bad childhood.

As for the four-five year phase, I vehemently believe that it takes two years or more of being with your partner to truly understand them in the deepest fashion; thus knowing how they would likely evolve in years to come. I believe that with the right woman and a high level of respect & trust can come an honest long term pledge.

 

Graduate college at 22-23 IB/Consulting/F500 2 years 24-25 Law School 3 years 28-29 Then biglaw....

i.e. like, never.

I might marry early if I can find someone who can kindasorta help me pay for my uberexpensive harvard law education....can you say tax breaks? (lifetime learning-$2k per return)

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-
 
Killeen:
Why do business before biglaw? Makes 0 sense.

It makes sense for me. I intend to specialize in corporate law, and as a Corporate Lawyer, you need to see a a client's case, whether it's a merger, divestiture, acquisition, IPO or whatever else, from both an attorney's angle and a businessman's angle, the angle that a) the client PAID me to look at the case from, and b) the angle that the client can UNDERSTAND.

Working in business before practicing law would not only give me the tools to look at the case from the client's and the attorney's angle, but it will also allow me to see all the contingencies of the case (since I know now how the business works), and help my client protect against them. Of course, then there's the part where I might make connections that can result in clients when I eventually become a lawyer.

I also talked to a half a dozen people who went to NYU Law school and every one of them tell me to DO SOMETHING ELSE before coming to law school, whether that may be paralegaling at a law firm, working in business, teaching English in China, or just loafing around at home watching TV.

And yes, there's the financial element as well. Law school's expensive. Undergrad is expensive. Law school+undergrad back to back will have me filing for bankruptcy as soon as I pass the bar.

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-
 

As for the "age related" topic, people really need to separate those "'new-age' make you feel good stuff" from reality. I mean come on, there's enough medical research out there. Women are born with the future egg cells in them, unlike males who produce sperms every day. That means when women hit puberty, those eggs are already 13-14 years old. As time goes by, the chance of things go bad also increases. And there's much more than just fertility. Just because you can have a baby when you are 40 doesn't mean the baby will be the same when you are in your early 20's. That baby born by a 40 year old mother is much more likely to be autistic, much more likely to be less intelligent, and so on.

As for me, I really wouldn't care how old the girl is when I meet the right one. Those issues are minor details, and they don't matter.

But some people really gotta grow up and realize that an occasional "political incorrect" true statement doesn't make someone an insecure person. And all this personal attack stuff really shows immaturity and insecurity.

 
zhouij:
Just because you can have a baby when you are 40 doesn't mean the baby will be the same when you are in your early 20's. That baby born by a 40 year old mother is much more likely to be autistic, much more likely to be less intelligent, and so on.

Yikes.

 

I decided I'm going to law straight out of undergrad, but nevertheless, see myself getting married like, never.

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-
 

Someone posted a comment about "finding the right person" which I totally agree with, regardless of age.

I remember a few years back when I was 17 (Im 20 now), I DESPISED the thought of marriage. Well guess what? The summer I turned 18, I found that "right person", knew her for about 4-5 months, and got engaged. 2 years later, and I'm even more sure now of my decision than the day I proposed; and I know it will be the best decision I would have ever made in my life. BTW, my wedding's this summer :D !!

One more thing:

sternfox:
1. Need money for hands-off parenting and schooling [private schools]for the kids so me and my wife can actually have a life....

Dude, I'll be frank with you. I fcking hate that statement. It sounds extremely selfish. "HANDS-OFF PARENTING"?? For fck's sake, please dont have kids at all, you'll be doing them a favor. I think a lot of kids have difficult childhoods primarily because their parents dont really want to be "parents", they just like throwing them into places like daycares.

.02$

 

You'll see things differently as you get more life experience.

"he summer I turned 18, I found that "right person", knew her for about 4-5 months, and got engaged."

Most people don't truly fully mature and understand themselves to the deepest level until their 30s. Or even later. Just sayin' Be careful.

:Dude, I'll be frank with you. I fcking hate that statement. It sounds extremely selfish. "HANDS-OFF PARENTING"??"

You've taken my statement too literally. I love children and I would like to be a father when I'm ready. It's something that's very important to me and am gradually training/preparing myself to this role. I'd like them to have the best parts of my character and much more than that. I'd like them to move forward without unnecessary despair.

But I am aware of my limited energy and would like to secure "help".

You don't seem to have a developed idea what truly successful parenting entails....

 

I'm too selfish to get married. I see myself not getting married. Seriously. I'll just stay single, buy a nice little condo someplace in Westchester, buy nice things and live like I'm in my late 20's for the rest of my life. Kids cost too much and they're frankly a pain in the ass. Why is there such a stigma attached to a single guy at age 35 living alone? If a woman lives alone at age 35 and is single, then she's a feminist or some BS like that. But if a guy lives alone at age 35 and is single, he's antisocial.

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-
 

Interesting holymonkey. I think most people would get lonely living alone their whole lives. Its hard for them to accept that others might not give a f***. As for me, I don't do dates/deadlines, only priority ordered lists 1) Dominate college --> 2) Excellent gradschool / post grad job 3) Make substantial amount of money

Of course, in teh midst of all this i'll be mantaining a normal interest in women so anything can happen. Personally, I don't want to even think about getting married till I'm already settled (read: financially secure). It might get weird in the mid - 30s though if most of your friends and potential mates in your age group are already attached. That's when you start lowering standards and age limits...

 

dazedmonk, three words: FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS.

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-
 

Sorry if I came off like I was attacking you. Didn't mean that.

I'll have to disagree with your first statement. It totally depends on the person (personality, how they were raised, environment, etc...). I think the moment when I "fully" matured and developed was that summer I got engaged. I went into that summer as a kid, came out, IMO, a man :).

Second, I'm quite aware of what 'successful' parenting is. My mom is a great example. Gave up her career for ~20 years to raise me and my siblings properly; to make sure we ALWAYS had our mother there for us. She is now back in the corporate world.

Again, sorry if I came off the wrong way. I just don't like the idea of people putting relatively petty things before their kids.

 

"I think the moment when I "fully" matured and developed was that summer I got engaged. I went into that summer as a kid, came out, IMO, a man :)."

No offense,but it's actually impossible to "fully" mature at 18. Believe me, when you get older, there will be many trials ahead and you will discover many new things about yourself. As a 20 year old college student who has never lived and worked on his own, you're still a kid.

I have a brilliant and introspective friend who is a wealthy 54 year old venture capital exec. He didn't really understand himself until his late 40s.

"Gave up her career for ~20 years to raise me and my siblings properly;"

Which is why I mentioned my "aids".....

 
sternfox:
"I think the moment when I "fully" matured and developed was that summer I got engaged. I went into that summer as a kid, came out, IMO, a man :)." No offense,but it's actually impossible to "fully" mature at 18. Believe me, when you get older, there will be many trials ahead and you will discover many new things about yourself. As a 20 year old college student who has never lived and worked on his own, you're still a kid. I have a brilliant and introspective friend who is a wealthy 54 year old venture capital exec. He didn't really understand himself until his late 40s.

This is why I mentioned it depends on the person...me personally, I've been through things 1000x more challenging/difficult/tough/stressful than merely living on my own, one example: war. I'll stop there. But my engagement was that final little kick that pushed me over the line from kid to adult.

I also know 14-15 year olds who are more mature then a lot of 25 year olds. My point: Maturity depends on the person and their individual circumstances.

sternfox:
"Gave up her career for ~20 years to raise me and my siblings properly;" Which is why I mentioned my "aids".....

If you were talking about you or your future wife, then I misunderstood. But there is a big different between a parent and an aid.

 

I have to second what fp said wayy earlier. I'm a girl myself. "The only kind of 20 year old girls who want to get married to a 30+ investment banker are one of the following:

  1. golddiggers
  2. college drop-outs/never attended college
  3. Mormon/conservative Christian " 5-10 year age gap: I'd probably assume the girl's up to something. Also, I'm pretty surprised at the % of people that want to be married by 30.
 

i see that most people are going for the late 20's early 30's and thats exactly how I feel about it.

I just came home (small town Louisiana) for the holidays from school and all of my friends from high school are fucking engaged and failing/failed out of state school/community college. So now that theyve drunk themselves out of school rooting for LSU to win the damn BCS and have capped their income for lives(for the most part) they want to get married???? Financial security is KEY to a successful marriage IMHO. I have read that financial issues account for as many divorces as infidelity. I will never get married unless the person is perfect- nothing to do with timing although late 20's early 30's would be ideal.

 

Sigh. I met my soul mate while in college. We've been seeing each over for about a year and a half. It just sucks because for me at least, I'm not sure what to do. It's not even that I'm selfish but I know personally, going forward, I'll need some alone time, to focus on myself, my personal development, work (the hours...), and just to be free of commitments. But alas, I'm in love. We've actually discussed this and realize that we'll both need some single time in our 20's and talked about going on break for a few years but I just don't see it panning out that smoothly. I also don't know if its the right thing to do. It'd be so much less complicated if this had happened when I was 25-26...

I guess Mez can relate but for me, I don't know if I'm ready for that kind of commitment yet even though I know she's the one.

 

"This is why I mentioned it depends on the person...me personally, I've been through things 1000x more challenging/difficult/tough/stressful than merely living on my own, one example: war. I'll stop there. But my engagement was that final little kick that pushed me over the line from kid to adult.

I also know 14-15 year olds who are more mature then a lot of 25 year olds. My point: Maturity depends on the person and their individual circumstances."

Your "point" is right to only a small extent. I think we are looking a very different standard of "maturity".

You are a 20 year old college student. That's hardly a "man". Maturity, self-awareness, and introspective ability have different stages. No one is fully self-aware, fully mature, or possesses the intellect to do so at the age of 18/20. In fact, many people never even reach this point in their lifetimes.

If you think at age 18 that you have chosen your "life partner" for 60 years...you're in for a rude awakening.

BTW, when I was your age I was in a similar situation but with an older woman.

 

I'm not going to get involved in the debate at hand - partly because I'm too lazy to read all of the preceding posts. Rather, I'll just answer the question proposed by the OP.

I'd probably say 24-26. I've been serious with the same girl since 2nd semester freshman year (Christmas break to be fair). That puts us at slightly over 2 years together. Considering I'm midway through my junior year and by time we graduate we will have been together for 3.5 yrs, I feel it's going to have to be sooner than later. Ideally, I'd like to handle things like my dad did. He got married at 30, and had me (his first child) at 33. Not too young at all, but far from old either.

That said, kids are a whooooole different issue. I'd like to wait at least 2-4 years after I get married to really make an effort to have a baby. If I'm between the ages of 27-30 when I have my first, I'll be extremely happy with how things unfolded.

 

I think I'll stay single. I can't handle kids.

If I end up adopting kids or something, they're going to boarding school as soon as they're able. Around the age of 6, I hope. I heard schools in England take kids that young.

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-
 

IBDilo, I'm not married, but in my opinion, you may have issues with waiting four years to have kids.  If you're working a lot of hours and (assuming) you're wife isn't, then she will be lonely during the late nights you are at the office.  Chances are, she would like to fill that time with raising a kid.  Of course, I know nothing about you or your girlfriend, but I can imagine any non-IB woman would get bored without her hubby around to keep her busy. But that is a whole different topic: IB woman or non-IB woman, or taken to a different level: businesswoman vs. artsy chick.

holymonkey, I can't handle kids either.  Sometimes they're cute.  Is there a way to rent cute kids for a while, and then return them when they start to get fussy?  Treat it like an op. lease and keep it off the balance sheet.  haha!

 
F9 - Update:

IBDilo, I'm not married, but in my opinion, you may have issues with waiting four years to have kids. If you're working a lot of hours and (assuming) you're wife isn't, then she will be lonely during the late nights you are at the office. Chances are, she would like to fill that time with raising a kid. Of course, I know nothing about you or your girlfriend, but I can imagine any non-IB woman would get bored without her hubby around to keep her busy. But that is a whole different topic: IB woman or non-IB woman, or taken to a different level: businesswoman vs. artsy chick.

holymonkey, I can't handle kids either. Sometimes they're cute. Is there a way to rent cute kids for a while, and then return them when they start to get fussy? Treat it like an op. lease and keep it off the balance sheet. haha!

Very valid point. Though I don't know how things will unfold, it will probably be much closer to what you just said than what I ideally desire.


As a side note - why the hate for young kids on the messageboard? Everyone saying they want to ship their kids off to boardings school ASAP? Personally, I think kids are what keep adults young, and believe it or not, normal. My dad's good friend from college, and my brother's godfather has been dating the same woman for nearly 15 years now, never got married, obviously never had kids, and has seemingly become goofier with age. Then again, this may be an isolated incident.

 

I know. If I ever have kids, because shit happens, I'm shipping them off to boarding school someplace in England the minute they stop being adorable. Around age 8-9. I hope there's a boarding school that'll take an 8 year old.

Or, I'll just never get married and have "friends with benefits." Clean, legally nonbinding commitment (what an oxymoron). 

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-
 

england DOES have boarding schools that take 8 year olds. They stop being adorable around the age of 8, and it's off to Surrey for them.

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-
 

Wow. This thread took off. I stopped reading after my last post.

Im not gonna go through any post here, but I will conclude with this. It depends on the person (like ive said before). I may not have "fully developed" or "know my true inner self", but Im not the kind to let a GREAT thing pass me by...that great thing is my current fiancee. Our engagement is creeping up on 3 years now and still no regrets...she totally understands me/sacrifices for me (as i do for her). Its working out fine as i am sure it will for the next 50-60 years.

I still think im as mature as most 30-35 year olds :P

 

the problem with later marriages is that you'll be fairly old by the time you're kids start playing sports (assuming you have kids after marriage). by the time you're kids join highschool, you'll be in your 50s. it's true you could retire as soon as they finish college, but it all depends on priorities i guess.

 

I don't think I'll ever retire, for financial reasons, if not for the fact that retirement would probably bore me to death.

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-

"We are lawyers! We sue people! Occasionally, we get aggressive and garnish wages, but WE DO NOT ABDUCT!" -Boston Legal-
 

When I was 20-21, I definitely thought I would get married at around 35. 

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Quasi modi impedit delectus minus corrupti aliquid. Culpa qui voluptatem nam saepe aut quos. Non eveniet molestias ea sequi qui.

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Rerum tenetur dignissimos quo et. Dolore libero nesciunt sed. Itaque magnam saepe perspiciatis vitae ex. Commodi exercitationem quia ut. Laudantium tenetur et voluptatum ut neque et nisi. Minima vel quisquam enim molestiae quia.

"Son, life is hard. But it's harder if you're stupid." - my dad
 

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Ut veritatis qui ea quam nostrum et id. Eligendi at ipsam et eligendi voluptatem sed nulla est. Quis molestiae architecto aut tenetur. Doloribus vitae ea ipsam. Maiores in dolorum assumenda impedit est perspiciatis non.

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Go all the way
 

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Iusto et quisquam consectetur laborum laborum. Magnam est tenetur aliquam autem vitae. Ad sed deserunt voluptate esse. Sed nemo nisi rerum fugiat. Aspernatur voluptas dolor itaque voluptate quisquam non esse occaecati.

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"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
 

Unde et exercitationem autem error consequatur. Ipsam voluptas voluptate voluptas et adipisci. Placeat id ut quia corrupti quasi est.

Voluptas dolorem quae ad ut autem autem sed. Eligendi consequatur magni aspernatur. Molestias et veritatis sequi ut hic saepe ipsa similique.

Culpa et rerum nisi officia quis impedit. Commodi voluptatem ratione explicabo error tenetur. Officia magnam reprehenderit ad eius sapiente sed qui. Eligendi enim expedita quia inventore maxime commodi.

[Comment removed by mod team]
 

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