When would you be comfortable having kids?
At what point in your life do you think you'll be ready to have kids and start a family? What are the things you need to check off in your life list before?
For example, I know family members and friends who got married super early, had kids right away and are very happy and content despite not working especially meaningful well paying jobs. Then I've seen countless people who grinded for the career, partied into their 30s and thought they'd be able to find a girl and start a family but with no success.
At what point would you be willing to have kids and what would hold you back?
will do it when I have a high net worth maybe later in life
When can afford to send them to good schools if i’m being honest. Not a massive fan of the state school system but that’s just for personal reasons
This is my thinking as well. I told my wife I don't want kids unless we can afford to send them to a good school and pay for their tuition. I have seen too many people's lives get ruined by student loans that I don't want to bring a kid into this world where they system is broken unless I'm wealthy enough to help them out
Man doesn't want to send his kids to a non-target. Respect.
I had a seizure reading this. Is it supposed to mean something?
I want a surrogate. I love children but I don't want a pregnancy ruining my body and my health. when the time feels right. I don't think there are any rules to that. Though I'd be perfectly happy unmarried and without children. I love being alone. I like having my own bed and no one disturbing me. Though maybe I'm just jaded.
I think you’re forgetting the neural aspects of pregnancy and childbirth. The chemicals released in your mind during pregnancy and at childbirth strongly tie you mentally in a maternal way to the child. This also includes breastfeeding. I think you should strongly consider having children naturally as it will somewhat affect your future relationship and bond with the child.
If you don’t want to have children naturally, it sounds like you might as well hire help to raise them and then send them to boarding school in Switzerland, whereby your only relation to the child will be genetically and through nature, whereby your nurture to the child when raising it might be affected due to the lack of chemicals in your brain. You will have a maternal sense, but it will be a different bond neurochemically if you don’t carry the child physically from day 1 of pregnancy.
It’s utter nonsense to suggest that you need the biological chemical release to love the child. I know quite a few families who adopted and absolutely love and take care of the child like it’s a natural born. You’re also not at all bringing up the physical effects that child-bearing has on a woman that some reasonably don’t want to go through including stretch marks and weight gain that isn’t easy to reverse post-pregnancy. Those things at a minimum would cause many to feel self-conscious, not to mention that the guy may not want her to go through the natural pregnancy for the very reason that he wants his girl to remain at peak beauty.
So basically, you want to remove yourself entirely from the process of actually having a kid?
looking at it objectively - yes. if I'm like super in love with the guy I marry, then maybe ill have a natural pregnancy. If I'm not - then no.
Not until mid 30's.
This is what I thought when I was in my early 20s.
Now that I am in my late 30s, I’d say early 40s. My dad was 46 when I was born so I can somewhat empathize something before then.
I definitely want 5+ kids in the future. Might be a minority but I would prefer to have them earlier (age <= 30) rather than later. Don't want to put too much pressure on myself but I guess I should be locking down on finding the future missus soon. This is all predicated on me hitting the grindstone hard i.e. career to support this
Are you Amish?
nah
Do Amish people work in IB? I feel like the Wall Street lifestyle is probably the pinnacle of wickedness for an Amish person.
How long have you and your girl been together? Does she want 5+ kids too?
Only if I like my wife
Why get married to a wife you don’t like?
I'm saying if I end up not liking her down the road in like 5-10 years
Late 20s marriage early/mid 30s kids. Or until I find a nice female former D1 athlete who will give my kids superior athletic genes and I can just pay child support then
When you meet someone you’d want to procreate with? I don’t think money or logistics are the big barriers for most people here.
You kind of alluded to it in your post, whether intentionally or not - a lot of people who marry young and remain happy may simply be happy with less. People who work their asses off throughout early adulthood might expect more, especially of a partner. And then there are the people who would be single if they hadn’t settled but would never admit it.
There is nothing wrong with being #2 imo
I mean I think the biggest thing that probably bothers the people who grind hard is they typically can control outcomes, Want the promotion = Work harder and smarter, want a top MBA = have a good career and GMAT, want a rocking body = go to the gym,
Where as
Want a healthly relationship = ??? - there are just so many factors when you introduce more independent people into the equation. Thus a certain level of settling/compromise has to come into effect and people who are use to grinding may not be as accustom to this.
On the (barely) wrong side of 30, first one is due in a few months. Anecdotally, my friends with kids or kids on the way are 28-34.
Kid by 33-35, married by 31-32.
Seconding exactly this
Me: probably married by 29 and kids by 33
Ideally married around 32 and kid before 35. The thing is I just got into IB and I'm broke as fuck.
Are you one of those "geriatric" analyst?
To save my second marriage
Will have a kid when I will be 27. Not something that I expected but my current MD had several kids before 30 and is now leading a great team, so hopefully things will also turn well for me!
Early-mid 30s would be great for kids, married by early 30s ideally
Early-mid 30s is the sweet spot for me. Hopefully at a level in my career where I have more control over my own schedule by then.
Think I’m probably in the minority here, but currently 26 and not in any rush to get married / have kids. Would probably start thinking about a serious relationship around 33-34 and then kids by late 30’s to 40. Just feels like a very limiting factor and there is a lot I’d like to do before taking on that responsibility - not to mention there is no way to be appropriately present for your kids as a mid-level finance professional. Much easier when you’re more senior and even if you’re still working hard, you are likely to have more control of your schedule
Y'all thinking about getting pregnant. First, figure out where to find a partner!
25 is ideal for me, hopefully no later than 27. I want a large family, and I don't want to push my partner's body to the limit, so it makes sense to start early.
No number of it. I ideally want 2 kids 2-3 year apart, so when I'm financially stable enough to support 2 (or when and I can see myself support another 2-3 years down the line) is when I'll have them. If it happens at 30 great and if it happens at 35 then great. Time is a bit more of an issue for my SO, but you she's younger and you can always freeze eggs or go down the IVF route if you're approaching an age where natural insemination has a high risk of leading to issues down the line. I also want at least one of us to be at a point in their careers where we have enough time to spend with the kids or have the flexibility to choose to do so. No constant business trips, no late nights or working crazy hours all the time. I don't need it to be a 9-5 job, but I want to be able to have dinner with my kids or tuck them in at least 3 times during the work week.
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