Why do I hate myself for spending money?
I'm not even talking about big purchases. Why does it feel wrong to buy new clothes or spend money on a decent night out? Does anyone else feel this way? Any tips for getting over this feeling? I'm not trying to rationalize unnecessary spending but rather I just want to feel ok about spending my hard earned money.
Have you ever had a girlfriend - they will find ways for you to spend even more money. Good luck.
Same.
I am also in your shoes. I am ready to pay money for books but when it comes to clothing or snacks my wallet is like a Trojan wall.
I am not a nerd.
a Trojan Wall? Did you just make that phrase up? 😂
I do not have this problem.
You shouldn’t. Don’t defer consumption to the point ur not enjoying life. U May not even be alive in the next 5 years. Maybe ur gonna die of cancer next year? Who knows.
Same issue. I always feel like I'm spending it on something I won't use or need
When I was an analyst and trying to pretend I was an adult, yeah kind of. All of my non work clothing was cheap and I didn't go out too much. I got over it once I got my first bonus and had more a few months of rent in my bank account. If you don't get over it, I don't see the point of working in finance for more than a couple years. Nobody should feel bad about working hard, being paid for it, and spending it.
Treat yo' self. Within reason.
I have struggled with similar concerns and sometimes still do. You said you're not trying to rationalize spending, but I think you are in a way. Becoming "okay" with spending is a form of rationalizing that spending. The way I rationalize it is a combination of the following things:
- I bust my ass to earn this crazy salary. It is a crazy salary relative to median income, and the things I buy do not materially impact my financial health in a negative manner.
- Again, I bust my ass. If I want to spend $2,000 on a computer to play 3 hours of video games a week, why the hell shouldn't I? I can and should spend money on things that bring me utility, whether that be the aforementioned computer or a great new summer outfit, a pair of sneakers, a house plant, whatever.
- If you're very young, you may be in "university" mode where a $500 spend is a huge deal for that month's budget. After a certain amount of time in the seat earning the big bucks, that will begin to fade away and you'll become more comfortable with spending, within reason.
- There is absolutely nothing wrong with being frugal. It can become a problem however if all you do is save for saving's sake and prevent yourself from having anything you enjoy. I gain a lot of utility from seeing numbers on a screen (my savings, my investments) going up, so I prioritize saving every month. But I also prioritize comfort in my daily life since my workload is so uncomfortable.
- In all things there must be balance - balance your savings / income against your work-driven stress. Make sure your non-work life - your apartment, your living environment (furniture, bed, clothing, etc), your hobbies, etc. - are as good as the work is bad. If buying some new clothes, or going out to the bars to blow off steam, or going to a nice restaurant to enjoy a great dinner, is going to make you more comfortable or happy (even temporarily) then it is not wasted money by any means.
- As long as you are still saving money and meeting your savings goals (for me that's 50-60% of my net pay), then you are totally fine to spend on 'discretionary' items.
I leave you with a statement I make to my friends and family and my (very frugal) girlfriend whenever they ask about some new thing I've bought or my spending habits:
What's the point of making all this goddamn money if you can't fucking spend it?
Love this. Thank you
Ad ex quo repellat omnis sit nemo. Velit ut nam praesentium ut quo culpa. Velit blanditiis ea quia quia placeat nisi. Rem omnis tempora sed cupiditate non ea.
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