Would you let your gf live with you during wfh/online classes?

Make her pay 50% rent

Just get a hooker man, cheaper and gets the job done.

You got yourself into quite a pickle and IMO none of your options end well.

1. You try saying "I just started a new job and need space and mental bandwidth to catch my groove" and see if she gets the hint. If/when she does get it she will call you an asshole bf who prioritizes career over relationships.

2. You let her stay until school starts but risk it being all online in which case she will certainly stay and you're stuck in a tiny apt with her and she's still not contributing.

3. (If you let her stay) Ask her to contribute to all living expenses going forward and lay it out clear as day as to what those financial contributions are. She'll say you don't love her at this point.

IMO the biggest problem isn't the financials it's about space/lack thereof. I can't imagine trying to be productive in a tiny studio with a gf over my shoulder all. day. long.

Best bet - tell her that it's best she find living accommodations for school and that you'll help her move. OR if you're fine living together that you want to find a better apartment before she moves in full-time.

Hard no.....

From a woman’s perspective: It’s a hard no. If she wants to live with you she needs to pay half of the rent/utilities. You two are not married, so it’s ridiculous to expect that you will be providing as if you were the head of household. If she can’t pay her way...she can’t live on your dime.

Yeah of course, just be clear on the terms of the stay and what she has to do. If you’re comfortable with it why not?

You'll go crazy within a month. Don't do it.

First off, how is your current living situation? Do you guys get along well or get in arguments often?

Obviously there needs to be terms put in place - make a compromise where she pays some of the rent and food. I wouldn't go as far as making it a 50/50 split as you are making income and she isn't, but make the ask reasonable.

In terms of work focus, I'd let her know that you want to be focused on your job till you get a firm footing of the work. If she cares about you she will understand and give you some space when working, Sometimes may not be able to dedicate the whole day to her, even if you live together and that's something that you have to make clear.

Living together is a big step in a relationship and really makes it clear if you too are compatible. I'd try to push the point across that even if you live together, you may not want to spend 100% of the day with her (tread carefully on this) - obviously you sometimes want to go see friends and stuff.

If she is rational and not psychotic, she will understand. Its a perfectly reasonable ask.

If she doesn't have the means to split 50 / 50, consider:

(1) a different split (65 / 35), (2) making her pay a mutually agreed upon percentage of her take home. (3) delegate all domestic chores / needs (buying groceries, washing dishes, etc.) to her as part of compensation.

Dude, save your future. Big pass. Let her down w. grace.

So not only are you living in a cramped space and sacrificing your privacy / me-time, you also are footing the bill?

Lol dude..absolutely not

FREEEEEEEEELOOOAAAADER

I think if you talk to her you will learn a lot from her reaction. If she is not willing to help with rent that's a huge red flag and I am saying this because I know that I would never feel comfortable living somewhere without at least helping financially with what I can. When in uni I was living in a studio with my boyfriend who was working full-time and we agreed on a percentage that I would pay based on my means. He worked a lot from home even before COVID and I always respected his space. Now that we're both working we're paying an equal percentage of our take home pay and I feel like that makes the most sense.

Working long hours at home with a gf in the studio, recipe for disaster m8 - you are going to go insane

Don't do this to yourself unless you have a 1BR that you can actually afford. You need to be able to work in your own room at some times.

Everyone on here is so fucking focused on the financial split and on your job have none of you ever had a fucking girlfriend?

Do you actually like this girl? If she might be the one and you plan on staying together for the long run, this could be a good trial period of living together and seeing how that goes. If you are serious about the relationship and really like her, then you should be excited about the idea of spending more time with her. Sure, ask her to chip in more for rent and expenses, but I’d be super excited if my girlfriend was able to live with me during a period I thought we’d be long distance.

On the other hand, if it’s just some summer fling that you don’t think is going on there, definitely kick her out. Just depends where you see the relationship is going

"Women: can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em."

Is she down to start an only-fans to help pay the bills?

I've split rent with me significant other for 8+ years, I pay for everything else. They need to pony up, no free loading.

Also, a GF in a studio all day? No thanks

i'll go against the grain here and say "it depends"

If you are seriously head over heels in love, and if think you will marry this girl, then living together in a studio apartment, while not ideal, is still doable.

Her presence does not increase your rent. Groceries are minimal cost which she can contribute towards (eggs, milk, cereal, fruit, chicken breast, vegetables for cooking, ect....)

Also, your girl can be a personal chef, maid, and sexy minx, in lieu for paying rent (i would hope that my girlfriend would gladly suggest these of her own volition anyway...and if not, then perhaps not the girl for you).

I would suggest making these suggestions in a very "positive" tone (both in the actual audio tone, as well as your word choice)...you want your girl to "want" to do these things....it should be a win/win scenario. If your girl does not desire to make you happy....then not the girl for you.

Plenty have commented on the relationship aspect so let me focus on the practical, there isn't a way in hell 2 people can share a small studio while WFH without killing each other. You need some personal space to hold calls and stuff and just frankly to separate. One of my colleague lives with his gf in a loft, pretty decent size (~1,500 sq ft) and sharing an open space has driven them mad, especially as we have been kinda busy and having evening / weekend calls. There's nothing more like being awaken at 2am by a SO screaming into the phone while negotiating the final point on an SPA!!

Financially: Consider having her pay whatever she’d pay at University for an appt. If she’s a student she clearly doesn’t have a steady income stream and once she graduates you all can do a true 50/50

Practically: You need a bigger place or separate work stations (literally a wall apart). Worried you will go crazy still though. Ever be trying to learn something difficult and it’s not quite clicking and you’re frustrated then your mom starts interrogating you asking you what you want for dinner and you go irate internally? It’ll be like that. Or can you go into the office still? I know some have restrictions and no one is there but it’s still open to use.

Personally: There’s never a good time to break it off, but this may be the best you’d get. Otherwise, double down and send her the signal that you’re in it for the long haul. I just would be careful giving her the wrong indicator.

No matter what get some beers for your “office” and over-the-ear headphones to focus. Cheers