Would you sign a pre-nup?

porsche959's picture
Rank: Gorilla | 568

Its really a toss up for me. It sounds reasonable, but i'm fairly certain most women are offended by the idea. If she asked me to sign a pre-nup, it would trigger my wtf meter.

Ari Gold on pre-nups:

Ari: Have you ever heard of a fucking prenup?
Terrence: Oh, you have one?
Ari: I'd kill my wife before I got a divorce.

Comments (134)

Aug 9, 2011

Though I'm too young to be thinking about marriage, yes I would sign one. I don't need a bitch's money and I wouldn't want her taking mine if things didn't work out.

Aug 9, 2011

how did I know this was inspired by Entourage?

Aug 9, 2011

No. You only get married once, unless she/he dies or does something so terrible that they have no chance for reform.

"...all truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident."

  • Schopenhauer
Aug 9, 2011

sure i'll sign your pre nup op

Aug 9, 2011

Yeah I would, all the girls I know would too. They said when they were younger they would have been offended at the idea but now they realize why it's important.

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Aug 10, 2011

In the words of Kanye West, the genius voice of our generation:

"If you ain't no punk holla' we want pre-nup
WE WANT PRE-NUP!, yeah
It's something that you need to have
'Cause when she leave yo' ass she gon' leave with half"

You know you've been working too hard when you stop dreaming about bottles of champagne and hordes of naked women, and start dreaming about conditional formatting and circular references.

Aug 10, 2011

I won't get married without a prenup, regardless if I have the money or she does. Wouldn't want to take the chance that I had kids and subjected them to some drawn out legal battle.

Aug 10, 2011

I know a trader who is divorcing his wife after 4 years and is taking PS12million - I dont know if thats a moral about prenups or whether it just shows you how much money you can make trading.

either way, theyre good morals! haha

Aug 10, 2011

double post!

Aug 10, 2011

in before Eddy

    • 1
Aug 10, 2011

the problem is u wudnt b getting married in the first place if u didnt think it was gonna last. That being said, if you think its gonna last y wud u need a prenup? I think the better moral of the story is "dont get married" as opposed to "get a prenup". Never really understood what marriage offered over a good relationship besides a title, but to each his own i guess

GBS

Aug 10, 2011

Yup. It makes it a lot less awkward for the guys who have to ask for one, and a lot safer for those that don't.

Aug 10, 2011

Marry for love, not money.

Aug 10, 2011

Prenups don't mean shit a lot of times. Totally depends on the state/judge overseeing the divorce proceedings.

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

Aug 10, 2011

She was there when the money gone, she'll be there when the money come. -Suga Suga

Otherwise, lawyer up bitch cuz you ain't gettin' a dime out this fool.

Aug 10, 2011

I never understood why getting married means giving away half of all you future earnings. The laws of divorce need to be changed and then you won't need a prenup.

"Sincerity is an overrated virtue" - Milton Friedman

Aug 10, 2011
OhYeah:

I never understood why getting married means giving away half of all you future earnings. The laws of divorce need to be changed and then you won't need a prenup.

The idea is that marriage is a contract where you are promising to share your assets with a person "until death do you part" for lack of a better term. If you are the larger earner, you have essentially said - I promise to share my stuff with you forever because you are my husband/wife. If the larger earner wants to break that contract he/she is going to pay for it. Seems pretty fair to me, but people should know what they are getting into before they tie the knot.

Full Disclosure: I am married, no pre-nup. My wife will also be supporting me through business school - so if we ever get divorced I'll pay through the nose. So far, so good though.

Aug 10, 2011

If you're really bored at work...you can dig through this clusterfuck.

http://www.wallstreetoasis.com/forums/wow-being-ma...

Aug 10, 2011

Having been through my parents long and stretched out divorce during my childhood, I am going to be VERY fucking careful about marriage. I would want to be living together for at least a year and a half, if not longer, before I'd even think about proposing. I want to get married eventually, and I want just one woman for the rest of my life. That last part is critical to me.

Aug 10, 2011

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie did it right imo

ironic that a hollywood couple taught me a lesson on relationships.

Jun 5, 2018

aaaaaaaandddd divorced in 2017 gg

Aug 10, 2011
Aug 10, 2011

HPM you are right about different states and judges having very different ways of handling divorce but at least a contract on paper gives you a leg to stand on.

To everyone here who said they dont need one cuz they will marry for love...I hope you don't but read Ed's post from 2010 above.

Aug 10, 2011

this is gold...

Aug 10, 2011

subscribed.

Aug 10, 2011
oowij:

subscribed.

this

Aug 10, 2011

Why not just a get a pre-nup to protect both of you if things do go awry in the future, even though you currently stand to make more in future earnings things could change. I think for most cases a pre-nup just makes the most sense.

Aug 10, 2011
seren_h:

Why not just a get a pre-nup to protect both of you if things do go awry in the future, even though you currently stand to make more in future earnings things could change. I think for most cases a pre-nup just makes the most sense.

i am curious to hear what women really think of this. seeing what i have seen, i am in favor of putting in safeguards. however, i am concerned that pre-nups are self-fulfilling prophecies and i don't want to kill the marriage with mistrust before it even begins. perhaps i am being naive. but it seems like a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation.

FWIW, she has said once that she'd consider one with me. perhaps i should take her up on it...but if so, what/how?

Aug 10, 2011

If you have already discussed this then hopefully it shouldn't be difficult for both of you to sit down and come to a decision.
Also, I don't think it's self fufilling prophecy - people buying life insurance are not hoping to die - imo pre-nups can be looked at the same way.

Relationships are so complicated and messy and, break ups are always much worse, so much added distress can be avoided if you take the necessary precautions now.

Aug 10, 2011
seren_h:

Also, I don't think it's self fufilling prophecy - people buying life insurance are not hoping to die - imo pre-nups can be looked at the same way.

You have a 50% chance of getting a divorce, but a 100% chance of dying... Apples and oranges. That being said, why do people who know they will divorce in the future even get married?

Aug 10, 2011

Would a prenup really protect you from having to share future earnings incase of a divorce? I do not think so. It will only protect against assets you bring INTO the marriage. Any income you make will be entitled to both of you. If you have a significant level of cash right now, make sure to set up bank accounts that hold the cash separate from any accounts you will (a) put future earnings into, and (b) share with your wife. Also, make sure to note these bank accounts by account number in the pre nup. Make sure not to commingle!

Aug 10, 2011

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Aug 10, 2011

If you're already thinking about divorce, you shouldn't get married. That's the best way to save money, if that's your primary concern.

Aug 10, 2011
SirTradesaLot:

If you're already thinking about divorce, you shouldn't get married. That's the best way to save money, if that's your primary concern.

you're quite right, but i'm sure the 50% of couples who end up splitting don't think it's going to be them.

the thing i wonder, if any of you have gone through a divorce, is whether you end up regretting NOT getting a prenup. i read through the thread posted by andy (thanks btw, that was some quality info), and it seems like even if you get a well-written prenup a lot of it ends up getting tossed anyways.

so it seems that even going through the trouble, you get all the downside of the prenup (inducing tension, implying mistrust, etc.) and very few of the real benefits.

perhaps this could be a good continuation discussion of people who have actually gone through the process, either with our without, and have gone through a divorce (or two).

the income heavy/assets light category probably applies to a lot of young monkeys here, so perhaps we can all learn something.

Aug 10, 2011
SirTradesaLot:

If you're already thinking about divorce, you shouldn't get married. That's the best way to save money, if that's your primary concern.

Bingo

Aug 10, 2011

What state are you in? This is arguably the most important factor.

If I had asked people what they wanted, they would have said faster horses - Henry Ford

Aug 10, 2011
happypantsmcgee:

What state are you in? This is arguably the most important factor.

living in one state, getting married in another. which one is the one that matters more?

Aug 10, 2011

what if I want to protect assets I might inherit?

That's my biggest concern

Aug 10, 2011

i understand the "don't marry" camp, but if you are cohabitating for 7 years with the same person, common law kicks in (thank you English legal heritage) and you're committed just the same.

of course i see the solution to that too.

Aug 10, 2011

if thats an issue, dont tell ppl what your job is

Aug 10, 2011

in england pre-nups are not legally binding - ex wives can get half of all bonuses years after the divorce!

Aug 10, 2011

If thats an issue, maybe it isn't meant to be...

Aug 10, 2011

they're a good idea...think practically, not 'romantically'

Aug 10, 2011

you can also shield some assets by setting up an offshore trust before you get married...dont know the exact specifics but i read it in the journal a few months back.

Aug 10, 2011

No matter how in love you are, it cannot be denied that a marriage is (among other things) a legally binding contract that gives the parties certain rights over each others' possessions and earnings. Romance aside, marriage is a business arrangement. Without a prenup, the terms of that arrangement are extremely loose and open to interpretation and abuse, particularly if laws change while you are married. Why enter into a business arrangement without legal protection?

Personally, no matter how romantic a man is, he's not going to get into a marriage with me unless he can take off the lovey-dovey husband hat and take a clear-eyed view of the business side of marriage.

It actually can be kind of funny if you play a game of what-if. What if I go crazy and run off with a showgirl? What if you go crazy and run off with a showgirl? What if I decide to go be a Tibetan monk? What would be a fair outcome if there are no children? If there are children? How do we ensure that a legal battle won't eat up all the marital resources if we both become total infants and decide to fight each other in court?

I think getting married without a prenup is just as irresponsible as having random sex without a condom... and foolish people do it for the same reason: they don't want to ruin the moment.

Aug 10, 2011

Has anyone modeled out the costs of not being married (tax breaks and such) v. divorce court and alimony?

Aug 10, 2011

bnkrtrdr that is taking it a bit far, but yeah an exbanker friend of mine got something like that...cost of divorce alimony etc

Aug 10, 2011

Nothing wrong with a little marriage insurance...you already have it for your car, home, etc.

Aug 10, 2011

Even better, try modeling the cost of a pre-nup against the potential reward of a pre-nup. Pretty clear story there: get a frickin' pre-nup.

The things women say to avoid pre-nups are similar in content and intentions to the things men say to avoid wearing condoms. Both need to get real.

Aug 10, 2011

I'd have no problem with a pre-nup... I think they're generally a good idea.

Aug 10, 2011

Well, yes, Aadpepsi. But you have both a good deal of sense and at least a bit of money (or earning power). Not all women are fortunate enough to have both, and they must marry also.

Best Response
Aug 10, 2011

You guys are talking about pre-nups on a online banking message board....you should all worry about getting laid before you start worrying about this shit

    • 2
Aug 10, 2011
brackmdj:

Nothing wrong with a little marriage insurance...you already have it for your car, home, etc.

re: insurance, ever hear of moral hazard?

ginNtonic:

You guys are talking about pre-nups on a online banking message board....you should all worry about getting laid before you start worrying about this shit

what does getting laid have to do with marriage?

Aug 10, 2011

Well, who's saying we don't want to get laid? Hellooo???

In any case I've been over stressed by work and recently started talking to myself - I hardly think guys find a woman talking to herself attractive?

So given the chronic psychosis, I should not date someone right now lest a guy is attracted to women with tourette's... and if that were the case, I'd run from a guy like that FAST FAST FAST.

Aug 10, 2011
aadpepsi:

Well, who's saying we don't want to get laid? Hellooo???

In any case I've been over stressed by work and recently started talking to myself - I hardly think guys find a woman talking to herself attractive?

So given the chronic psychosis, I should not date someone right now lest a guy is attracted to women with tourette's... and if that were the case, I'd run from a guy like that FAST FAST FAST.

I was saying you all should worry about getting laid before you worry about prenups, being that a majority of people on the board are so wrapped up in what they would say in their Carlyle interview, that they wouldn't know what to say if a girl said hi to them.

I wouldn't worry too much about the talking to yourself thing, it's more interesting from the usual girl who just talks about herself.

Aug 10, 2011
aadpepsi:

Well, who's saying we don't want to get laid? Hellooo???

In any case I've been over stressed by work and recently started talking to myself - I hardly think guys find a woman talking to herself attractive?

So given the chronic psychosis, I should not date someone right now lest a guy is attracted to women with tourette's... and if that were the case, I'd run from a guy like that FAST FAST FAST.

As long as you shut up while giving a bj, no guy will mind.

Aug 10, 2011

If you sign a prenup, you're basically saying that you don't have the balls to control your woman. Only men that don't have any confidence in their ability to control their woman EVEN think about pre-nups.

Aug 10, 2011

Thx for the tip. I'll keep that in mind. Sigh.

Aug 10, 2011

Hmm... I wonder if my desire for a pre-nup (given that I'm the primary earner) means that I don't have the balls to control my husband? Is that something I should be able to do?

Huh. Well, pre-nups are expensive, and oppression is probably pretty cheap. Maybe I should slap him around a bit, teach him who's boss, make him give me head while I'm on the phone or modeling. Do you think that would do the trick, Seanc? The only trouble I can see is that his self-esteem is disturbingly high... do you have any tips on how to undermine that? Don't want him thinking he can just up and leave me, or that he deserves better.

Aug 10, 2011

Don't try to get cute with me Mis Ind, you know very well that what I said only applies to guys. Signing a pre-nup signifies that both partners share equal status in the relationship, whereas a Real Man should be the only one who calls the shots. That's the foundation of a patriarchal society, and the steady decline of the patriarchal nature of our society explains why our divorce rate is 50%.

Maybe you need to get with me to see how a real Man rolls.

Aug 10, 2011
Seanc:

Don't try to get cute with me Mis Ind, you know very well that what I said only applies to guys. Signing a pre-nup signifies that both partners share equal status in the relationship, whereas a Real Man should be the only one who calls the shots. That's the foundation of a patriarchal society, and the steady decline of the patriarchal nature of our society explains why our divorce rate is 50%.

Maybe you need to get with me to see how a real Man rolls.

I like the fact that you capitalized "Real Man."

    • 1
Aug 10, 2011

Sorry if I'm wrong here... but aren't you still in school?

Aug 10, 2011
Mis Ind:

Sorry if I'm wrong here... but aren't you still in school?

I'm a senior but what does that have to do with nething

Aug 10, 2011

Heh. Sure, maybe I'll get with you, then. Maybe you can take me to your Spring Formal.

Aug 10, 2011

Yeah, Yeeah... clearly Seanc's manliness is too manly to be anything but Manly. Or is that Real Manly?

I'm still waiting to hear back about the Spring Formal, Seanc. Should I start picking out my dress? Maybe your dad will lend you his Beemer to pick me up in.

Aug 10, 2011
Mis Ind:

Yeah, Yeeah... clearly Seanc's manliness is too manly to be anything but Manly. Or is that Real Manly?

I'm still waiting to hear back about the Spring Formal, Seanc. Should I start picking out my dress? Maybe your dad will lend you his Beemer to pick me up in.

I know it's rude to ask a woman her age but aren't you a first or second year analyst yourself ? Which makes you what, 22 or 23 right ? I'm 21 which makes us practically the same age so come up with another excuse Ind.

Aug 10, 2011

agreed.

peers. go forth and multiply.

Aug 10, 2011

Seanc, if you'd done a post search, you'd know that I'm twenty-five. We are not practically the same age. You were still in high school when I first started working in finance. I graduated late because I was on the international martial arts circuit. (In other words, in case you need it made painfully obvious, I was a NASKA world champion when you were in middle school.)

So, no thank you... I don't want to come to your Spring Formal. Nor do I really care to be shown what a Real Man is.

Unless you decide you want to step into the ring one day.

Aug 10, 2011

I know this is going to sound cliched but I personally prefer women in the 25-35 age range, I'm mature enough to handle a older woman. Anyways, as for getting in the ring with you, I dunno babe, you and me ....our hands all over each other...who knows what might happen...I do not want to break up an engagement...

Aug 10, 2011

While I'm sure you're exactly as mature as you say you are, I also prefer dating up, as it were. Until I met my fiance, who breaks all the rules, I only dated men over forty. I cannot handle the idiocy quotient of a young man. I also don't like men who are so insecure in their masculinity that they feel they need to tout their manliness (or is that Real Manliness?) constantly.

For that matter, I'm sure you would be as bored with me as I would be with you. I like three-hour meals, dressing for dinner, and in-depth conversations about literature and history. I have no knowledge of or ability to converse about the following: movies, television, popular music, sports, cars, college life, or any of the other things that I imagine interest gits like you.

So, please stop asking me out. Thank you.

Aug 10, 2011
Mis Ind:

For that matter, I'm sure you would be as bored with me as I would be with you. I like three-hour meals, dressing for dinner, and in-depth conversations about literature and history.

How about I throw on my dinner jacket and trousers, and you join me for dinner at Per Se? I'd enjoy company who could appreciate the meal as an experience.

Aug 10, 2011

"I have no knowledge of or ability to converse about the following: movies, television, popular music, sports, cars, college life"

What? You're saying that you can't hold a conversation about anything? Reassuring, I'm sure the guys are climbing all over themselves for a chance to pork you

Aug 10, 2011

seanc, enjoy the younger woman while you have the opportunity.

Aug 10, 2011

Damn Mis Ind, you're on fire today, I'm really starting to like you babe....by the way, there won't be much talking if you and I get together so you don't need to worry about "in-depth conversation".

Aug 10, 2011

Riiight. Nevermind that I require good conversation to get me interested in anything else. With all your maturity, you've never figured out that you need to take care of each woman's specific tastes in order to earn the right to bed her? Particularly the "older" women you say you admire.

By the way, very smooth move in calling a 25-year-old an older woman. That is an excellent way to make a girl like you, hon. Next, try snapping her bra. Girls love that too.

Aug 10, 2011

Fire and forget. It's how our forefathers used to do.

From the village

Aug 10, 2011

Woman, you have some nerve. You call me a git, immature and a little boy, you question my manhood and now you're offended because I referred to you as a sexy older woman ?? Which I didn't mean in the sense of you being old but rather you being "older" than me and implying that you're more mature than girls in my age bracket (18-22).

So I guess being a nice guy really doesn't pay off huh, maybe I should just go back to being an asshole.

Aug 10, 2011

Feel free to be an asshole, but no method of approach is going to pay off for you. You're not my type.

Aug 10, 2011

Whatever, I'm tired of your stuck-up, snooty attitude anyways.

Aug 10, 2011

And this illustrates an interesting point about the less mature men:

If a girl won't sleep with you, she's stuck-up. If she will, she's a slut. If she sleeps with your buddies but not you, she's a stuck-up slut.

Aug 10, 2011

Well said :-)

Aug 10, 2011

"For that matter, I'm sure you would be as bored with me as I would be with you. I like three-hour meals, dressing for dinner, and in-depth conversations about literature and history. I have no knowledge of or ability to converse about the following: movies, television, popular music, sports, cars, college life, or any of the other things that I imagine interest gits like you."

That's why I called you stuck-up, now just shut up and leave, you lost the argument.

Aug 10, 2011

"Why don't you just shut up and go away?" don't sound like argument-winning words. They sound an awful lot like argument-losing words, don't they? What's wrong, Seanc? Why do you feel the need to assert your winning so strongly? Are you a Real Winner as well as a Real Man?

Aug 10, 2011
Mis Ind:

"Why don't you just shut up and go away?" don't sound like argument-winning words. They sound an awful lot like argument-losing words, don't they? What's wrong, Seanc? Why do you feel the need to assert your winning so strongly? Are you a Real Winner as well as a Real Man?

fuck you bitch. youre not even in banking. dont lie now. dont fucking lie. what banker sits on a board? sorry sweetie, but youve been called out.

Aug 10, 2011

Nah, Mis Ind I was just pointing out exactly why I called you stuck-up, I'm done trading barbs with you. You ain't on my level anyways.

Aug 10, 2011

There are tons of bankers here, Dan... perhaps as much as a third of the regular posters, if you include traders/funds/PE people in that classification. Many of us love to procrastinate, particularly because the pace of work can be so slow on some days. The guys are constantly surfing sports sites. The girls are shopping. Everybody's camped out on CNN.com. And a few of us come here.

You seem to think that, because you faked being a banker, we are all doing so. This is not the case.

Aug 10, 2011

This is hilarious. Agree on the procrastination - spent half the time last summer reading up on world cup and reading blogs.

Aug 10, 2011

Now there's an offer. Do you know, I've been planning my night at Per Se for over a year now? Ever since I came here, I've known I was going there on bonus night. Some girls are going to buy Chanel bags, some are going to go tan themselves in Fiji, and I'm going to Per Se. I've heard it can change your life.

Aug 10, 2011
Mis Ind:

Now there's an offer. Do you know, I've been planning my night at Per Se for over a year now? Ever since I came here, I've known I was going there on bonus night. Some girls are going to buy Chanel bags, some are going to go tan themselves in Fiji, and I'm going to Per Se. I've heard it can change your life.

Chanel Bags? I've come to a conclusion that many women, no matter how much they believe in their, "passion for fashion," have a single clue what they are actually buying.

I respect your choice to go on bonus night, as it makes the truffle risotto taste even sweeter. I'd also like to visit The French Laundry though for the Napa Valley experience, but going through bottles of wine makes it impossible to make it just a meal.

Aug 10, 2011

I agree. Chanel bags are very nice -- I'd probably pay $500 to own one (which is utterly exorbitant in my book), but not the prices that they actually command. Actually, I would buy a lot more clothing and accessories if the items were to my taste. I like formidable structure for daytime -- military cuts, Audrey Hepburn, Dior's New Look, steampunk -- in blacks, browns, and greys. Restraint, hard edges, brushed steel fittings, black leather, no patterns or embellishments. In contrast, everything that's been out there for the past few years has been "deconstructed" into slouchy messes of flowery taffeta with bizarre splashes of leaf-green leather and bundles of multicolored jangly charms. Ugh. Women are walking around looking like little girls who are allowed to pick out their own outfits and who want to put on at least one of everything they have.

And women buy these trends... and actually wear them, poor darlings! Five years later they'll laugh at the pictures, saying, "Oh well, that was in at the time." But there's always a hint of regret, like: "Ewwww. I guess the alpaca poncho with the lime green satin ballerina slippers was a bad call."

Aug 10, 2011
Mis Ind:

I agree. Chanel bags are very nice -- I'd probably pay $500 to own one (which is utterly exorbitant in my book), but not the prices that they actually command. Actually, I would buy a lot more clothing and accessories if the items were to my taste. I like formidable structure for daytime -- military cuts, Audrey Hepburn, Dior's New Look, steampunk -- in blacks, browns, and greys. Restraint, hard edges, brushed steel fittings, black leather, no patterns or embellishments. In contrast, everything that's been out there for the past few years has been "deconstructed" into slouchy messes of flowery taffeta with bizarre splashes of leaf-green leather and bundles of multicolored jangly charms. Ugh. Women are walking around looking like little girls who are allowed to pick out their own outfits and who want to put on at least one of everything they have.

And women buy these trends... and actually wear them, poor darlings! Five years later they'll laugh at the pictures, saying, "Oh well, that was in at the time." But there's always a hint of regret, like: "Ewwww. I guess the alpaca poncho with the lime green satin ballerina slippers was a bad call."

Anything, clothing related, you feel that you don't deserve yet? For me, its a Lange 1 watch (for financial and prestige reasons), and anything bespoke (physical reasons).

I believe many women will buy any trend, for the sole purpose of flaunting to their own friends, no matter how ridiculous.

Aug 10, 2011

Best believe I'm hitting up Vegas when I get my bonus. Suite at the Bellagio, bring back a few strippers, I'll be a Young Hefner...at least for the weekend.

Aug 10, 2011

You really want to spend a quarter of your entire after-tax bonus on strippers and a Bellagio suite? (They're not that good -- the suites. Never had a Vegas stripper so I don't know how they are. I don't imagine they'd give you much for your money, and nightly costs of $3k apiece are not unheard of for nice ones. Step outside Vegas and the girls are much cheaper and more... happy to see you.)

Good luck getting a weekend off, also.

But seriously, you want to party, party in Atlanta where the underground adult scene is quite intense. The cops are crooked, the industry is very hot, and stuff goes on that you probably wouldn't believe. Additionally, as you would expect from the nation's biggest convention town and the world's busiest airport, the selection is wide and the quality is high... especially when you consider what you can get for two grand.

I've got old friends, procurers, dispatchers, and a few girls who remember me very fondly from my nights of blowing Goldman Sachs paychecks on them in a certain very nice VIP room. It's a nice little town for any kind of good time one's in the market to have, and you don't have to deal with Vegas bullshit (where the cops are not at all crooked and the industry is furtive and absurdly expensive for what you get). You should let me know if you ever want to get your Real Man on in Atlanta; I'll give you a couple of phone numbers.

Aug 10, 2011

Ummm...Ok Thanks, but Atl isn't my kinda spot

Aug 10, 2011

Enjoy those Vegas strippers, then.

Aug 10, 2011

Brazil, not the Vegas casino.

Hotter than the Vegas strippers and it's all legal.

Rent an apartment, hang out on the beach, sip caipirinhas, bring your buddies and rock out.

The flight will be the only potentially expensive part, everything else is dirt cheap.

Aug 10, 2011

Yeah. Now there's an idea. Brazilian women....

Aug 10, 2011

Having had two highly successful careers and started a third, I don't see why I should worry about what I deserve. I actually don't see why I don't deserve anything I want. Whether I can pay for it is another matter... I actually don't want to buy myself such things. I much prefer a home, safety, rest, peace of mind. If I ever have so much that I won't feel a pinch if I run out and buy something that pleases me, then I'll do it.

I can't imagine spending good money just to impress friends, though. That would be rock-bottom for me... as if I had so little to recommend myself to a friend that I had to rely on having expensive shoes or something. Those aren't the kind of friends I keep, anyway. My friends tend to be the sorts that buy from army supply stores, or run around in workboots and thrift-store tank tops, or who just dress generally like freaks (and I mean that in the best way possible).

I suppose, when I get my bonus, I'll buy myself a pair of pirate socks for every day of the week. That would be reasonably groovy.

So, you want to make physical changes before you go bespoke? Lose a bit of weight, gain a bit of muscle? You know a good tailor can allow for that.

Aug 10, 2011
Mis Ind:

Having had two highly successful careers and started a third, I don't see why I should worry about what I deserve. I actually don't see why I don't deserve anything I want. Whether I can pay for it is another matter... I actually don't want to buy myself such things. I much prefer a home, safety, rest, peace of mind. If I ever have so much that I won't feel a pinch if I run out and buy something that pleases me, then I'll do it.

I can't imagine spending good money just to impress friends, though. That would be rock-bottom for me... as if I had so little to recommend myself to a friend that I had to rely on having expensive shoes or something. Those aren't the kind of friends I keep, anyway. My friends tend to be the sorts that buy from army supply stores, or run around in workboots and thrift-store tank tops, or who just dress generally like freaks (and I mean that in the best way possible).

I suppose, when I get my bonus, I'll buy myself a pair of pirate socks for every day of the week. That would be reasonably groovy.

So, you want to make physical changes before you go bespoke? Lose a bit of weight, gain a bit of muscle? You know a good tailor can allow for that.

I'm sure most analysts (male & female) in your class are succumbed by keeping up with the joneses. Then again, you aren't with the norm. Comes with the pitfalls of life.

I won't go bespoke since I've made major physical changes in my life, with natural triple digit weight loss. I look great now, am professionally repped by supplement companies, however I constantly feel I can always improve. I'm very interested in classic tailored clothing, and have a great closet, as I always like to look my best. But bespoke is reserved for the creme de la creme, and I feel I will do greater things in life to warrant such an extravagant purchase (for my proposed specs, around $7k+/suit). I actually created a scholarship in my name at my old high school instead.

I remember going to stores, oogling at nice clothes, but I would never be able to fit into them (I was 365lbs). After 2 years of hard work, and 150 lbs+ lost, I've come to the realization people want what they can't have. And now that I can just fit into everything, life is that much sweeter.

Tell me about your other career, you were a martial arts champion, and now an analyst, the other?

Aug 10, 2011

I was successful as a poet for some years. Grant from the AAP, awards, big name publications, assistant editorship of major academic journal, reviewed by the big names as a fresh young American voice, asked to read in a bunch of academic settings, yadda yadda. Not the most well-paying career, but by far my most satisfying yet. It ended when I hit b-school and my brain switched over to numbers. I got a severe case of writer's block that lasted for four years and is just now going away. Now I just write for pleasure in my spare time -- I can't handle writing, being my own agent, and being an IB analyst at the same time.

Actually it sounds laughable now that I've written it here -- a bunch of scribblings read primarily by academic scribblers; very little celebrity and even less pay. However, it is quite competitive, very underfunded, and to actually become well-published and make any money at all was a tremendous accomplishment for me. Most poets, even career poets, don't achieve this. Apparently I had things to say that people wanted to listen to.

You know, I think big men look very good in bespoke suits. My group head is very broad and tall, but he lacks visual definition until he puts his jacket on and then -- bam. Shouldn't you buy just one, just to have it? I think it might make a big difference.

Aug 10, 2011
Mis Ind:

I was successful as a poet for some years. Grant from the AAP, awards, big name publications, assistant editorship of major academic journal, reviewed by the big names as a fresh young American voice, asked to read in a bunch of academic settings, yadda yadda. Not the most well-paying career, but by far my most satisfying yet. It ended when I hit b-school and my brain switched over to numbers. I got a severe case of writer's block that lasted for four years and is just now going away. Now I just write for pleasure in my spare time -- I can't handle writing, being my own agent, and being an IB analyst at the same time.

Actually it sounds laughable now that I've written it here -- a bunch of scribblings read primarily by academic scribblers; very little celebrity and even less pay. However, it is quite competitive, very underfunded, and to actually become well-published and make any money at all was a tremendous accomplishment for me. Most poets, even career poets, don't achieve this. Apparently I had things to say that people wanted to listen to.

You know, I think big men look very good in bespoke suits. My group head is very broad and tall, but he lacks visual definition until he puts his jacket on and then -- bam. Shouldn't you buy just one, just to have it? I think it might make a big difference.

I have to say, I'm not sure whether I like or dislike Mis Ind. She's definitely entertaining and interesting, regardless of how much you believe of what she says. I've been tempted to comment many times in the lats few months, but I'm bored now, so I finally will.

1) Her points on banking, the job itself, interviewing, CVs, etc. are pretty accurate as they compare to my experiences. So listen to her on that.

2) I certainly don't want to start one of these back and forth about her past, a la the many Dan Bush vs. Mis Ind battles. But I will go this far and say, that if Mis Ind's history is accurate, she should write a book. Hell, it could even be a movie. She'd make more money than being a banker, cuz YOU KNOW Oprah would be all over it.

3) As a male, I really don't like talking about Oprah.

Aug 10, 2011

Alexey, aside from a few identifying characteristics (my precise style of martial arts, which was uncommon on the NASKA circuit at the time and would identify me immediately to anybody who cared to dig a bit on Google), everything that I've said is true. The reason why it seems so outlandish is probably because most readers are coming from environments where they were steered from childhood by family, schools, and mass culture. It's amazing what you can do with your life (both good and bad) when you're one of the few that falls through the cracks of the culture at an early age. What were you doing when you were fourteen? Middle school, watching TV? I was on and off the streets, in and out of trouble, studying martial arts night and day like a crazy person. Sixteen? You were in high school; I was on the NASKA circuit thirty-five weekends a year because I had to keep my sponsorship and my titles in order to keep my living allowance, my private students (who paid the bills and whom, occasionally, I stayed with when times were lean), and my teaching gigs at various karate schools. Nineteen? You were in college; I was scribbling poetry, recovering from a major catastrophe, working at a tea store, and trying to figure out what to do post-NASKA-retirement with no education and no marketable job skills.

The point is that when nobody knows or cares about you, when DFACS knows you're on the streets and doesn't care, when your mom's crazy and your dad's dead and the social worker assigned to your case stopped showing up six months ago, when the cops stop treating you like a kid and start threatening to make arrests, you either fuck up horribly or you rise.

Well, I rose.

But think about it, Alexey. Think back to every moment you ever spent with your family, or watching TV, or in school, or playing with friends, or partying. If you're a normal guy, you collectively spent many years doing these very normal activities. What if you'd never been able to do those things? What if, instead, you took every single moment of that, night and day, year after year, and poured it into strengthening yourself and sharpening your abilities. What would you be? Who would you be then?

I do journal this, as I'm sure you'd expect. I have journals going back fifteen years; plenty of material for a book when the time comes. The reason why I haven't published a book is that I'm only twenty-five. That's a little early to give up and say that the interesting part of my life is over and that it's time to write my memoirs, isn't it?

Aug 10, 2011

I said a book. I think it's pretty awesome what you've done. Certainly out of the norm, and thus too most people incredulous, but not impossible.

I believe you. But it doesn't matter.

Your story would be inspirational to many people I would imagine.

If banking is what you want to do, then do it. Just because you aren't a banker, doesn't mean you are giving up.

In any case, just this type of exchange was what I wanted to avoid.

So I will stop there.

Aug 10, 2011

I don't get it, Al. Not only am I not giving up, I am a banker. Explain?

Aug 10, 2011
Mis Ind:

I don't get it, Al. Not only am I not giving up, I am a banker. Explain?

You just like arguments is all I can figure.

For christ's sake, in my first post, I came out and backed you on everything you have posted that pertains to IB.

What I meant was that if you quit being a banker to write a book, that would not mean that your life is over.

If you're so self-confident, then stop trying to anonymously impress people on this stupid message board. But if you are insecure, then go to a shrink and get it sorted out. I can assure you IbankingOasis (in all its wonder) is not a recognized therapeutic practice.

It's like every time anybody says anything about you, you see it as another chance for you "to rise above the oppression" and "beat the odds."

Fine. We get it. You have overcome a lot. But I don't see how it's relevant on this board, or at the very least needs to be so frequently mentioned.

Seriously, I would think by now that you wouldn't give a shit what people said, but apparently you do.

Let it go. And if you don't want to continue validating yourself, stop bringing up poetry and "the mean streets" on a board about investment banking.

BUT, I'm convinced you like the attention, the argument for argument's sake, and that you are most comfortable in the "you against the world" and "being held down" martyr role, so you continue to play it here.

Hey, whatever works for you.

Aug 10, 2011

THIS IS PAINFUL READING. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.

Aug 10, 2011

Dude, all caps are a no-no on any well-mannered forum out there. If you don't like a particular topic, however, you probably shouldn't continue to read it. You really shouldn't cause yourself undue pain like that.

Aug 10, 2011

Big whoop, I can bench 400 lbs, what you gotta say bout that patna' ?

Aug 10, 2011

True, Seanc. Bicep strength is indeed humanity's greatest accomplishment as well as its most useful tool. I am sure you will put it to very good use.

Aug 10, 2011
Mis Ind:

True, Seanc. Bicep strength is indeed humanity's greatest accomplishment as well as its most useful tool. I am sure you will put it to very good use.

he benches a lot ==> bicep strength. i dont get it.

Aug 10, 2011

I'm sure the biceps will come in handy for punching minorities in the face and keeping them in line.

Aug 10, 2011

Wow, where does this shit come from ?
All I'm against is people that hate America and have a sense of entitlement. If I'm eventually asked to review candidates for employment, I'll select the best regardless of race/religion etc.
And I'll pull for a black/asian/indian guy from my university over a white guy from anywhere else, regardless of who's more qualified.

Aug 10, 2011

lol ive been on this forum for 2 weeks, reading stuff, granted im in school etc...but everything Alexey said is the impression I get....I mean why would ppl not believe her? you ever seen the guys in banking who were varsity superstars (which trumps NAKSA in my mind), led their high school team to state titles....like come on...excellence in sports, has maybe the exact paraell to the commitment you need in banking.....

its an interesting story...but i respect alot more the kid who beats the odds and ends up in the special forces

Aug 10, 2011

well, i'm not sure you're beating the odds of you end up in the special forces, but to each their own.

Aug 10, 2011

Al, I'm not trying to anonymously impress anybody. I'm just naturally a very social person and my entire life has suddenly been narrowed to a 6x7 box where I sit twenty hours a day on a floor full of people who never reveal their real selves or their actual views. All the friends I used to spend so much time with? Back home. All my social time? Gone. This board is actually a highly valuable resource for me. I don't need therapy (and, for that matter, where would I get the time?). I need human interaction, just like anybody else. If I'm going to be stuck in this box for the next year and a half, my dose of human interaction is (depressingly) going to come from folks online. There's no way around it.

I talk a lot on this board, and the majority of it is about banking. The fact that my non-banking posts attract more attention is, perhaps, natural. That's all that's going on here.

Also, I don't really see how anything or anyone on this message board could oppress me. Also, I never mentioned quitting banking to write a book; that was your suggestion and not mine. Particularly because I could easily write a book while working in banking. Already am. Moreover, what's with this martyr stuff? How could I be a martyr when I've sacrificed nothing for any causes or people?

Perhaps I'm missing something? I'm just not following your points nor your logic here. It's becoming very clear that some of the things I talk about make you uncomfortable, but I just don't understand why you're trying to make me stop talking about them instead of simply choosing not to read my posts. Isn't it easier to change your own behavior rather than someone else's?

Aug 10, 2011
Mis Ind:

Isn't it easier to change your own behavior rather than someone else's?

disagree.

Aug 10, 2011

Back that statement up, then. Anyone can type the word "disagree".

Aug 10, 2011

disagreeing is an opinion. i don't need to back it up. should you wish that i like elaborate as to the rationale, then i am willing to do so. if you ask nicely.

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I'm not a real banker though...