WSO--From hedgeFund Analyst to UPS Mail Carrier--My extreme descent in 4 years
I don't know where to post this. I picked a random sub and got typing. I will eventually copy-post this to another forum, as I feel I have something worth considering.
I went to a catholic Business college in the western states. Won't say much beyond that cause we all browse this forum, but I will say, their counselors basically lie through their teeth, it's as "Catholic" as any public school, and the bulk of my academic career entailed studying vocabulary terms for college professors. That's it. Vocabulary and some basic, archaic journal entries.
Long story short, I did have enough skills to work at an exclusive, tiny, secretive hedge fund in my homestate in my junior and senior year.
That's it I thought. First hedge fund internship. Foot's in the door. From there, anyone will give me a true finance/business job. That's the narrative college students are told; mix between boomer dad's "give 'em a firm handshake" and the recognition that you have to have formal experience to start getting formal finance experience. I was thrilled. I busted my ass working for that dude. In the end, we didn't find anything worth creating software on, but we felt I had a superb experience, one that would get me into any regular finance job anywhere in the metro
Then I got a second gig; basically IB but for an extremely specialized group.
Both were secretive but I also don't want my name associated with a sobstory
Now, with not 1 but 2 rock*star finance gigs, i was CERTAIN I'd be at an ER shop, trading firm or consulting firm after college. WHO ELSE but a few students had that sort of experience under their belts?
I was wrong. I got 0 offers after I graduated, Lord knows however many I applied to. I got 1 offer for a 20$/hour gig answering phones for a certain notorious company, and that was it. Literally no offers after a prestigious Hedge Fund gig. No one GAF. I networked, networked, networked, bragged (that's what we all do right?) to the right folks--analysts, MD's, hiring managers, talent recruiters, etc. I only got that 1 offer my whole final year at college and 4 months after graduation.
Finally I gave in. I begged a bar bro to get me in at an Operations Department. I thought, "yeah, it's ops, but that'll be a great foot in the door...omg my fooooot's in teh dooooooooor"
So followed a career launchpad in hell. The second I found out I was hired, I realized I was going to be caught there forever. My bosses were all stuck there for decades. My coworkers had MBA's but were building useless files no one read. Some didn't even graduate college. I applied to every job available. This was all I got, and other similar-back-office corporate deadzones.
All this, and I'd basically done equity research. I'd been an intern at an IB. I'd built every financial model available. I did work on indices, banks,etc. All I got was a dead end Back Office job. If you want to say "ohhhh BO isn't bad!" fucking work there and tell me whether you make it beyond 80k$ and whether YOU get into the front office I got to work every day and got ready to go before I got in my car. It was BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD. and I was told "jUst GeT a FoOt In the DooR".
So, I applied to everything else. bookkeeping, investments, brokerage, sales, trading, private assets, real estate, consulting (we did a lot of things at my company, it's one of the top 3 banks in the US)
A variant of "hey folks, basically we both went to the same college, can I get some time to chat about how to get into your dept? I have modelling experience, hedge fund experience, and math experience. pelase help?"
Nothing. Not from my "CoLlEge SoCiaL NetWorK", not from people in the same company, not from friends of friends. I was basically trapped. And that is one of the worst places to be in a company.
My cube mates were growing envious of my evident (i didn't bother hiding my distress) aspirations. They were furious; they were envious; they were rage, brutal,, and w/out mercy.. Their Evil Eye was bright and whenver I tried to find another position at that company, they fouled shit up. It was depressing.
Finally I left. I decided I'd go to college for anything other than finance. I wasn'tfinding ANYTHING that'd accept me and I figured i just didn't have what they wanted. Bear in mind I applied to over 400 jobs, internships, coffee meetings, etcetera. Kids, just so you know; that's all bullshit. Ain't no one going to take you because you were " a self-motivated analyst" who "bought coffee" and "hit the grind". It's decided at birth, even before we are born.
Fine. Ok. So I have to carry mail or work in as a bank teller. I'm not arrogant. I don't mind being a CCA. At least I have my family, right?
No. Walk in one day and my baby sibling is getting fucked by some wanker and snorting crack.. Fuck. Asian, Hispanic and south asian readers will understand why this is fucking bad .
Basically aggressive and beats my parents when they don't get their way. We've tried being considerate, tried calling friends, doctors (all who say "your child is normal" because they are fucking dumb and my sibling is extremely smart ) and even gotten courts involved. They have all said "your child is fine". It's a dead end. For any readers with schizophrenic or disturbed siblings, will you for upvote? Want to see who else if fucking screwed .
I was a rising star 4 years ago. Now I'm carrying my bullies' amazon things for 15$/hour. I will work beyond 55 hours a week.
Frenemies, college bullies, ex gfs are all making $300,000+ as doctors, lawyers, FAANG or IBD/ER/VenCapital. And I carry mail.
The only alternatives are going back to operations where I'll make about 35K a year and become a drone like the failures who despised me at the Operations department. Self-mutilation, diabetes, stress eating and excessive alcohal consumption are RAMPANT at Back OFfices.
I'm not even sure why I'm writing this, you won't and you cannot help me. I'm stuck and I get it, I'm doomed because I bought the college bullshit, and the Boomer Mantra. And I'm not even mad. I'm depressed. I'm depressed because one of you will also fail as I have. We don't know who, but some winsome freshman's about to fuck their entire lives by going school and getting nothing out of it. Don't do what I did.
Inb4 "stOp feLing SoRY foR YouSrlef!" and "jSuT mOvE ouT"
I hope we all succeed