Juwanna Mann:
...when you yell at your girlfriend for being shitty at excel

yes this happened

ROFL, at least I assume she still can write a formal letter, not like mine XD (in all fairness she is studying dentistry, great hedge though).

.... when after a second interview for an internship, all expenses paid to London, you are rejected for not being serious enough.

Valor is of no service, chance rules all, and the bravest often fall by the hands of cowards. - Tacitus Dr. Nick Riviera: Hey, don't worry. You don't have to make up stories here. Save that for court!
 
Juwanna Mann:
...when you yell at your girlfriend for being shitty at excel

yes this happened

SB for you. I did the exact same thing a couple days ago.

Gf: "How did you select the cells like that?"

Luckily, she's in health care so she can be forgiven for not knowing that.

...when you have nightmares about excel shortcuts not working properly.

 
nb84:
acs_london:
When its 9pm on an amazing summer day in July and your VP asks you not to work too hard and go enjoy the summer sun..

The OP was referring to INVESTMENT banking, not the local Wells Fargo branch hahaha. Seriously though, if this really happened to you as a SA or something I hope you got a FT offer.

Hahah yeah I was an SA in capital markets

 

...if you feel more compelled to murder a client with an axe than usual. ...if you fantasize about having a threesome while listening to Phil Collins. ....if you're listening to a presentation and find yourself whispering Excel shortcuts to yourself under your breath.

Metal. Music. Life. www.headofmetal.com
 
Best Response

This is crazy! I almost posted this same exact thread the 2 days ago but got caught up at work and didn't have the time, lol (no, that wasn't the punch line).

You know you're in banking when, after a night of heavy drinking and sub par sex, you wake up next to an ugly ass girl and try to hit "Ctrl + Z".

Regards

"The trouble with our liberal friends is not that they're ignorant, it's just that they know so much that isn't so." - Ronald Reagan
 
cphbravo96:
This is crazy! I almost posted this same exact thread the 2 days ago but got caught up at work and didn't have the time, lol (no, that wasn't the punch line).

You know you're in banking when, after a night of heavy drinking and sub par sex, you wake up next to an ugly ass girl and try to hit "Ctrl + Z".

Regards

lol I like that

 

when you start having higher expectations about everyone around you...in terms of punctuality, responsiveness and attn to detail.

not really a good thing because more often than not, you'll be let down.

 
[Comment removed by mod team]
 

when you feel like punching some a$$hole who doesn't kno shxt about finance talk about "wall street stole my money", or the financial crisis was all bankers faults.....douche why the fxck did you have a half a million dollar house and you work at KFC....

You give me a gift? *BAM* Thank you note! You invite me somewhere? *POW* RSVP! You do me a favor? *WHAM* Favor returned! Do not test my politeness.
 
1man2nv:
when you feel like punching some a$$hole who doesn't kno shxt about finance talk about "wall street stole my money", or the financial crisis was all bankers faults.....douche why the fxck did you have a half a million dollar house and you work at KFC....

The bank told him he could afford it...how is he supposed to manage pulling the chicken out of the fryer, the rolls out of the oven, taking customer orders, AND figuring out that $2,000 monthly income isn't enough to cover a $5,000 mortgage payment???

 
barboon:
When you can't watch the superbowl because you are going to meet a client for dinner.

Here in Wisconsin even the churches are cancelling their sunday night masses...one church is instead playing the game on all its TVs and then turning them off at halftime, doing a 10 minute sermon, then turning the game back on...gotta love home

 

when you sigh every time you that that NOTORIOUS Blackberry "Bleep", even when its not coming from yours lol

You give me a gift? *BAM* Thank you note! You invite me somewhere? *POW* RSVP! You do me a favor? *WHAM* Favor returned! Do not test my politeness.
 
1man2nv:
when you sigh every time you that that NOTORIOUS Blackberry "Bleep", even when its not coming from yours lol

This. I was at home early one night watching a commercial and heard the buzz from the tv, but still felt my heart jump a few notches, because i thought it was mine.

 

When you actually know the difference between sales, trading, asset management, and investment banking.

When you know that retail and corporate bankers are all morons.

When you know that middle and back office jobs are for people with extra chromosomes.

When you think you're a significantly better catch than anyone else does.

When you think that New York is the end of the earth--just one more step and you'll fall off the planet.

When the only five skills you have are DCF, WACC, trading comps, transaction comps and bribing the document processing team.

When you think that analysts and associates do 'all of the work.'

When you not-so-secretly don't know shit about finance (pretty much applies to all bankers since they have no concept of how markets work).

When you think you deserve to be in all of the top clubs because you do a job that normal people don't care or know about.

When you think that Greenwich, CT is in any way normal.

When you know that Jim Cramer is a farse.

When you know that poor people don't matter.

When you judge people on their pedigree.

When you know that fine watches extend beyond Rolex alone.

When you know how to pronounce 'Hermes.'

When you like eating steak tartar.

When you know precisely how heavy a dry, triple, grande, skinny cappuccino is meant to be, and get angry when the troglodytes at Starbucks screw it up.

When you know what a 'league table' is.

When your ultimate goal in life is the buy-side.

When you know you're smart enough to actually contribute to society, but get no 'warm glow' from doing so, and are perfectly happy to sell your soul for a few hundred grand a year.

When you laugh at all of the 20-year-olds willing to kill themselves to do your job because you know most of them wouldn't cut it anyway.

When you know how to use both a knife and a fork simultaneously (I'm looking at you, America--learn some table manners).

 

When you can check all of the boxes next to these statements:

brotherbear:
When you actually know the difference between sales, trading, asset management, and investment banking.

When you know that retail and corporate bankers are all morons.

When you know that middle and back office jobs are for people with extra chromosomes.

When you think you're a significantly better catch than anyone else does.

When you think that New York is the end of the earth--just one more step and you'll fall off the planet.

When the only five skills you have are DCF, WACC, trading comps, transaction comps and bribing the document processing team.

When you think that analysts and associates do 'all of the work.'

When you not-so-secretly don't know shit about finance (pretty much applies to all bankers since they have no concept of how markets work).

When you think you deserve to be in all of the top clubs because you do a job that normal people don't care or know about.

When you think that Greenwich, CT is in any way normal.

When you know that Jim Cramer is a farse.

When you know that poor people don't matter.

When you judge people on their pedigree.

When you know that fine watches extend beyond Rolex alone.

When you know how to pronounce 'Hermes.'

When you like eating steak tartar.

When you know precisely how heavy a dry, triple, grande, skinny cappuccino is meant to be, and get angry when the troglodytes at Starbucks screw it up.

When you know what a 'league table' is.

When your ultimate goal in life is the buy-side.

When you know you're smart enough to actually contribute to society, but get no 'warm glow' from doing so, and are perfectly happy to sell your soul for a few hundred grand a year.

When you laugh at all of the 20-year-olds willing to kill themselves to do your job because you know most of them wouldn't cut it anyway.

When you know how to use both a knife and a fork simultaneously (I'm looking at you, America--learn some table manners).

and still have a few more blackberry quips to add on your own.

 

...When you refer to your school as a target

...When the only model you slept with was during that all nighter on excel

...If your annoyed that your friends from back home still think you work at the local citibank as a teller

...When you have Seamless Web on your bookmark bar

...When you analyze and judge bloggers' grammar on WSO

 

U recognize your seamless delivery guy in the lobby even when he's not wearing his cap with the restaurant name.

When u know everything there is about printing & binding books, and can fix color printers on your own

When family/friends call u when they need help sorting columns in excel and u respond with keyboard shortcuts while struggling to remember how to do it with the mouse

 

... Overhear the following conversation taking place between a third year Analyst and their Father, who haven't spoken to each other in about two weeks:

"Dad, I don't give a fucking shit about your promotion at that shittly little place. Don't you know I have more important stuff to do than fucking listen to this bullshit"

The moment I heard this I made my mind up that I wasn't going back for FT at a BB.

 

Aut illo alias sint adipisci aut quia vero. Tempora est nihil minima amet voluptas beatae.

Et iusto aut quis blanditiis eum deleniti. Omnis voluptas quidem voluptate.

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