Why am I horny as fuck? It's fucking annoying and distracting
Alright I'm sort of seeing this girl about 3 times a week - we go on a date, chill out, and fuck. On other days I either (1) Can't stop thinking about/wacking off to her or (2) Can't stop thinking about/wacking off to women in general.
Is this normal? I mean, on a typical work day I'd be on a deadline that'll come in 15 minutes and out of nowhere I start thinking about women. I swear I randomly have to visit the bathroom at work about twice a day just to get shit out of my mind so i can focus on WORK.
one time we were in the meeting room and i just COULD NOT FUCKING CONCENTRATE on the bald guy VP talking REALLY IMPORTANT SHIT so I excused myself to go to the bathroom! of course when i came back, i began to focus and the meeting went well.
BUT WHY IS IT ALWAYS LIKET HIS? ANYONE ELSE GOT THIS PROBLEM?
its seriously annoying. sometimes i just WANT TO FUCKING WORK.
Basically i just want to know if im a rare outlier or is this the fucking norm with guys? anything to help cope?
Stop having red bull and protein shakes for lunch.
Get that shit out of your system when you actually SEE her dude?!!!! You're also in the 17-27 age group, so it comes with the territory.
This really is some funny shit
lol, no dude, jacking off twice a day at work is definitely not normal.
this
^ Exactly.
If you have to excuse yourself from a meeting to jerk off in a bathroom than you have a problem. See a doctor.
BTW, I hope you're trolling.
If this isn't a troll, it sounds like you have an addiction problem.
Seconded. Also would recommend you check your diet that you're not getting too much of something.
I rubbed one out before work today so I'm not horny.
If you really rub 2 out a day at work, you have a problem.
I recall that there was this really fucked up kid in 8th grade who cut off his pockets just so he could jerk off during class. Perhaps you could do the same but you'll have to live with the stench of rotten cabbage.
funniest thing ive ever read
Maybe you should be more worried about taking your Paws off your monkey then others putting their paws on your money.
You're doing boring fucking work all day and the mind's natural defense mechanism against boredom is a lack of concentration. As a guy, your mind will naturally gravitate to our raison d'etre: panooch.
That said, if you're rubbing one out twice a day at work you need a new chick. The right broad will leave your junk so sore you won't even want to touch it to piss.
Quel raison d'etre? Le mec a besoin d'un psy or d'une petasse lol
Because it burns...right?
Regards
you need chill and think about some other things.
wait so the rest of you dont feel this way?
and no way, i am definitely not trolling. i never thought it wasnt "normal" cause i heard guys my age usually wacked off like at least once a day or something and the whole statistic about how guys think about sex every 7 seconds. i just thought some guys hid it or suppressed it better than others.
so.......shit. i got a real problem then?
And seriously, take it out on your woman the night before and you'll be fine. So will she. In fact, if you do it good enough, SHE will come to YOU for more......women are insatiable.
Is this just a lame attempt at a humblebrag?
no. on the contrary this is a lame attempt to find a solution to a real problem via online message board. i didnt think problems would be braggable.
call dr. phil. you really think a bunch of finance nerds can help you keep it in your pants?
yeah buddy, you've got a real problem. it's called sex addiction.
OP has been delivering so many quality threads in the past few threads.
you definitely have a problem. real deal 3-4 times a week, plus the occasional solo flight should be sufficient to keep you from flaking out at meetings and soiling a public restroom.
Just curious, why did you decide to post this on WallStreet Oasis? lol
Like, I'm doing some DCF and splat!
There are psychological, puberty, and sex related forums out there.
Anyway, you should stare at porn and not do anything (you know what I mean). That will prob help.
Funny shit though.
hmm...
you should sarge more OP, and wear tighter outfits.
Can we see a pic of this girl?
You stressed?
who gives a shit? this is both hilarious and awesome. more power to you. jerking off twice in a workday isnt THAT excessive...i mean i will assume you work 10 hrs a day here...once every 5 hours ? not that bad at all
It's normal. I eye-fucked some girl at Starbucks last night so hard it should be a crime.
I fail to see how it is normal that a grown man absolutely needed to excuse himself from a meeting so he could jerk off real quick.
I'm just like every other guy and think about tits and ass about every 3.2 seconds, but I've never been so bad that I have to leave a meeting or jerk off in my office bathroom just to get some work done.
Here is a man with a voracious sexual appetite. The ferocious voracity of his sex drive is not his fault, but the fault of his genetics. In fact, I would liken his condition to that of the homosexual male. He was, to quote Lady Gaga, "born this way".
As Edmundo pointed out, this man's girlfriend does not posess the requisite skills to appease said appetite. This man, consequently, is forced to express his frustration in a noble, peaceful way: masturbation. As long as he is not accosting women during his lunch-break, the manner in which this man expresses his frustration is socially acceptable.
This made me laugh on my desk so hard people were wondering wtf I was reading
This is fucking hilarious! Thanks for this shit OP, you're the MAN!
But yeah, that shit isn't normal, you might need a doctor. I mean shit man, twice in a public bathroom?!? I feel your pain though. Maybe you should work in a pre-work wack-off session into your daily routine and then see if you can prevent yourself from going to the restroom during the day.
I fucking love WSO some days.
honestly if i was fucking a girl the night before, then jerking it twice at work the next day my dick would hurt.
OP here's a simple test. What's the most number of times you've ever whacked off in one day? If it's 5 or more, I recommend seeing a doctor immediately.
damn you serious? i guess im in trouble too then
Oh puhleeeeeeeeeeeeeeaze. As if EVERYONE here hadn't jerked the chicken 6+ times in a day just to see if they could.
This thread is depressing on like 3405 different levels.
yeah
You should apply to the IMF.
three words bro: work. in. asia.
done dizzle
Lol, I'd consider people who haven't done so to be the abnormality. Aren't bankers supposed to be hypersexualized? Keep in mind, this was probably when I was like, 13.
Yes, I'm abnormal because I spent my time getting real girls to touch my dick instead of choosing to stay in my room seeing how many times I could jerk off in a day before my dick would fall off. If that makes me abnormal than so be it.
Bankers are strereotyped as hypersexualized because they are seen as whoremongers, not socially awkward nerds that play with themselves in the bathroom at work.
I'd much rather my dick hurt from banging too many dirty girls than from jerking it too much.
Lol, what the fuck? Why the hate on socially awkward nerds? We've all got our pasts dawg. If you think it is an unabashedly good thing that you were out getting laid constantly when you were 13, then that speaks to other issues entirely. The first time I got laid was when I was 14, and I consider that one of the worst decisions I've ever made for a number of reasons that I won't list here, but damn dawg, don't go picking on people for what they were like as kids. You weren't a perfect little ray of sunshine, and neither was I.
OP congratulations on being a man! Ignore these sneaky, cowardice people and take your business to the bathrooms whenever you please.
Speaking of which, who's watching the Charlie Sheen roast?
OP, you simple are in the wrong field and should be working in the adult entertainment industry, follow your true calling
Yeah, at least in that industry you can just pop one off in the meeting. Wouldn't it be great not to have to sneak out?
Regards
I can't tell if OPis serious
This thread is fucking hilarious. Every single post.
^ agreed...too bad the OP isn't a chick with this problem haha
lol
this is the funniest post on WSO ever. thanks man
LOL
All you self righteous douches are butt-hurt that OP GETS PAID to bust nuts.
/Respekt
Wear tight underwear. It's harder to get a boner.
Thanks for posting, now get back to homeroom
Haha reading this thread brightens up my day :)
http://www.youtube.com/embed/J-6kThkmiQc
Hilarious :) dude... if u r serious about banking... u need to consult a doc.... twice a day over a long period of time wudnt allow u to spend those all nighters.
Never had the courage to jerk off at the workplace. And never had the will to do so.
Are you related to Charlie Sheen?
the IR girls at my firm always give me the meanest hard. Like, I am afraid to stand up sometimes...
I want to know which dead beat bank you work at bc I haven't got to see the girl im dating in a week and a half. three times a week with dates and chilling out? I think you are lying about the girl and you have to go see a doctor for your problem.
Your probably just gay, bummer bro.
Most of us grow out of these kinds of habits eventually. Not a big problem.
Agreed. I went through a stage like this in middle school. Now I don't whack it at all, just bang 4-5 times a week.
Not normal to spank it at work numerous times a day either IMO. I never spanked it at work before and the idea of it seems weird. Just spank every morning in the shower before work and that's one out of the way right there.
Four more to go, right?
Just spank in your cubicle. Be discreet.
you're seeing this girl 3 times a week? then get 2 more that you see 2 times a week each and i bet your problem will be solved! make sure they arent the same types too... problem solved
Speaking of sex addiction, anyone watch the Charlie Scheen roast last night? Hilarious
Bump - also interested. Please help
Check with your dealer.
Like the Wolf of Wall Street manager who mentored Di Caprio. Restaurant conversation lol.
I think in that he jerked off twice a day, that’s a classic scene with Matthew McConaughey
Just do the standard bathroom stall ninja wank off. If nature calls you have to answer.
http://i.imgur.com/syIGoHl.gif
i remember consistently feeding the geese 4 times a day when i was in undergrad in Asia ...
It means you have high prolactin levels.
LOL I have this thread bookmarked. I come back to it and read it whenever I need a good laugh. So funny.
HAHAHAHAHAHAH
WWPBD (What would Patrick Bateman do)?
this would be a great opportunity for WSO to do something like "where are they now?"
like find out if OP splooged his way to the blacklist or if he got over it.
I just lol'd on a call with a client, WSO is killing productivity.
Never met one with this kind of case. Also, I personally don't think it's normal.
Maybe go to a psychiatry clinic?
Hope things get better, man.
Im a female and i have this problem to....
get tinder and lower your standards sonny
Wackin it -- no filter, yes seriously (Originally Posted: 02/07/2015)
Hey everyone - just made an account, and excuse the explicit q - but does anyone else get fucking horny at work?
Seriously, there were so many hot women at at work (corp finance intern last year)... I swear to god, there were days I had to go to washroom and splash cold water all over my face to stop thinkin about fuckin their brains out.
Started rubbin one off before work - it helped WONDERS. But let's be honest, not everyone has the time every morning, and it's torture waiting until you're done work. Don't get me wrong, there's a decent dose of gettin action outside of work, but idk if it's just me or if the work was just borin as hell (think management accounting 80% of the time) - there were just days I couldn't get out of my seat cause khakis just don't do you justice when you see that 20 something year old pass you by with the red lipstick and tight butt.
How often does everyone get turned on during work and HOW THE HELL do you all get your asses back to work lol
I honestly wanted to go home, rub one off, and then get back to work at one point.
Might get a lot of hate on this one, but legitimately curious about all you monkeys puttin in those hours
Have you ever got laid?
Yes its is nice https://bit.ly/2HqwD7S https://bit.ly/2HRFalb https://bit.ly/2rnUUCi
Mark Hanna: Gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers in this racket. I myself, I jerk off at least twice a day.
I want to, that's not why I do it. I do it cause I fucking need to.
Try to not to think about such things or hire a call girls to fulfilling your desires that will help you
Start taking 1mg of finasteride every other day - you will keep your hair and your libido will drop to normal levels (if extremely high otherwise you will just get ED).
Talk to your boss to see what kind of accommodations can be made for you
To see what thots he has?
You've invited unclean spirits into you because of your sinful behavior. Your mind is constantly bombarded by sexual images and impulses, even when you desperately try to think of something else.
I'll give you the truth, but it will seem foreign to you. Repent and turn to Jesus. Rebuke those thoughts and do not entertain them. Don't even look at women with lust.
This is the only answer. There is no other way. Everything else you try will fail. It will actually make it worse.
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