What I Learned From Both Getting Dream Job And Then Dumped In One Day
Alright Monkeys,
So I've been a long time user of this site and have wanted to give back for a while - so here goes.
Today during my painfully boring Econometrics class I received a call from a BB's HR telling me I had been officially extended an offer as an analyst on my top choice team in NYC. Needless to say, I was ecstatic. The offer was a culmination of relentless hard work, but was also an affirmation of my overall worldview: that life isn't a fair place and huge opportunities exist for anyone whom, regardless of their intellectual horsepower, devotes themselves to achieving everything and anything they set their mind too. I spent most of the past day on Cloud 9.
But life decided to throw me a curve ball. A girl I truly cared about got fed up with my post 11pm celebratory antics and dumped me on the spot. All my apologies fell on flat ears and I ended my night absolutely heartbroken. Now let me be clear, this girl and I have had issues in the past and tonights drama was not purely caused by my unfortunate tendency to celebrate my accomplishments a tad bit overzealously, yet I think that my experience holds a ubiquitous kernel of profound truth that every chip-on-thier-shoulder overachiever can learn from.
Life is truly short. Like it or not, the the vast majority of the goals we pursuer our superficial in nature and the glory of achieving them tends to fade rapidly as the next goal on the list quickly comes to mind. Yes, everyone on this site wants to achieve greatness, and achieve it in a way that garners public admiration. I know I do. However, it is crucial to remember that the best experiences in life are those that are shared. Individual greatness is admirable, but only from an outside perspective. Success is subjective, yet all too often we fool ourselves into thinking it can be encapsulated by some sort of checklist:
I got the job
Im making the money
I have the title
These accomplishments rare genuinely impactful only when they can be shared. The view from summit might be breathtaking, but it's one everyone should be able to take in with someone by their side. So, the main takeaway I want to impart is, please, if you have someone special in your life, make sure to acknowledge them even more than you already do. If your not with the person who first comes to your mind the moment you reach a new milestone, than your not with the right person.
Theres a cliche that it's lonely at the top. That's only true because those who make it to the top often sacrifice every truly meaningful personal connection they have during the climb. Please, as the future shapers of this next century, make sure to never lose sight of the people who matter in your life as they are what gives real value to what we as individuals accomplish.
Getting a job is a great feeling, but losing someone you care about hurts more. So don't delay, take the time to cherish the people in your life and remember that while financial success is a worthwhile goal, it is by no means the end all be all.
i feel you - go make it right.
First off, congrats on the offer. Second, congrats on losing the girl. She dumps you on one of the happier days of your still young life because you were partying too much? Unless by partying you mean you get drunk and beat her or tried to fuck her best friend, you're much better off without her. It's a cliche but there are lots of fish in this great wide ocean and you should just have fun your final year of college and not be tied down unless a relationship is truly going somewhere for the long term and it sounds like yours wasn't anyway.
Now, get out there and try to fuck her best friend.
Listen, if you made out with 6 girls at the bar at 1am right in front of her - I get why she could be a little upset. Nothing you can't recover from in a week or two. But if you went out, got blacked, didn't do anything relatively sexual with anyone, and she dumped you - that's fucked up. She's clearly a square and no fun. If you can't go out and get blasted with your girl, get out.
Congrats on both accounts.
Why did you apologize? You did nothing wrong.
Either ways, congrats on both fronts. Sounds like she wasn't worthy anyway.
"even if you're 1 in a million there are still 7,000 people just like you"
congrats on the job and I am sure you will find another lady that will make you just as happy
Tons of meat on the street bro. Losing get this chick was the second best thing that happened to you today. Congrats on both.
From someone in a similar situation and have since recovered,
congrats!
Thanks for the support guys! I did a lot of thinking about what I wanted for my senior year and came to the conclusion that it wasn't worth losing the relationship over my excessive partying. But I took in all your advice and we are now much more on the same page about what we want our last years of school to look like, both emotionally and socially. Thanks again for all the thoughtful responses!
Congrats on the offer...
I cannot comment one way or the other about the 'dump' because you are not being very clear about the 'celebratory antics'. That said, you guys had issues from before. From the little that you have shared I would say this would most definitely have happened at some point. Move on...
Sounds like you dodged a bullet OP.
As an aside, this post reads like it could have been written by good ole' Sage back in the day. Excessive partying didn't stop and now he's a wall-shitter.
This whole story reads like someone who writes a memoir too young.
First, you got a job offer and while that's great, it's not exactly the pinnacle of success that you think it is at this point. You're at the beginning of the road, not at the summit. Second, you got dumped by your college girlfriend? Not exactly Earth shattering news either. Not to minimize your feelings, but this isn't like you were married with kids and are getting a divorce and will lose half your shit on top of it. You will likely face much bigger highs and lows than this in the future. I would suggest acting like you've been in the end zone before with your successes and learning how to take setbacks a little more stoically.
Plus, @"Dingdong08" is completely correct when he says you had two victories that day, not one win and one loss.
Yes sorry I clearly need to reign in the drunken late night drama/pretension. Always good to get cut down to size, thank you!
Yes sorry I clearly need to reign in the drunken late night drama/pretension. Always good to get cut down to size, thank you!
I think the BB offer was the second best thing that happened to you. While emotions are still high and it will run this way for days or weeks (hours to days for me, I am a heartless bastard) it is clouding your judgement on this chick dumping you.
Girls like her will only do more harm in the long run when shit gets deeper, such as sharing an apartment, dog, god forbids a child, or worst child and marriage. You're a Type A person and this shit ain't gonna change anytime soon for anybody and you need a girl that will understand and be able to complement your life.
I am going to make a very broad statement that having a girl like that in your life will ensure you will never achieve the pinnacle of success or getting close to taking a whiff of that success you are salivating after.
Congrats on losing the parasite and congrats on the offer. I guess there might be a god somewhere.
Good for you man! I would shake your hand and then pat you on the back, I know it can be rough losing your girl. But on the other hand if she can't handle you at this stage of life, I seriously doubt she would have stuck around while you were working your tail off for her and yourself. Best advice I have for you, get back on the horse and find another girl that will quickly remove and low feelings you may have in the back of your mind.
Let's be honest - you got the offer, you drank a little, you thought "I'm on FIRE, I can get anything I want today!" and you blew it all by asking for anal.
Am I right?
Or he didn't even ask and went right for it. Chicks do not dig that...
Pun intended?
LOL. As many people have previously commented, the girl is the least of your worries. I know it sucks and you're not going to get over it in the next week or two, but you have so many things to look forward to in the future. I don't know what school you go to or what your personality is like, but seriously have fun this winter/spring and don't worry about "changing" for someone else. Have fun dude... the real world isn't all it's cracked up to be. You'll be having a ton of fun once you get to the City so I wouldn't worry about it.
I think she probably dumped you because you're an arrogant dickbag.
Man - you got your first banking job - great. You're talking like you just got hired as the CEO of JPM...
I'm really happy to get valuable wisdom about "life" from college students. Thanks so much for giving back.
Maybe speak for yourself brother, just a thought
Plenty of talent in NYC to choose from on any given night
Same thing happened to me and 2 of my other buddies but this was after getting PE offers. It's been 7 months and I still miss her. Not as easy to move on as you think.
Sounds like you weren't dumped, but set free!
You'll be fine. Congrats on the offer.
The fact that most posters don't consider this a hugely dramatic and douchey post makes me wonder about the age of kids on here. Congrats on the offer but take a deep breath, you're a first year analyst (almost), you'll be fine.
Where is your ex-gf shaping up to go in life OP? $10 she actually dumped you out of jealously or something stupid.
Jesus man you got an entry level job offer, a little bit early to be writing life-reflective posts
Also, if this job is your dream job, may god have mercy on your soul. You are on your 'dream' path, you most certainly don't have what anyone would consider a 'dream job'
So let me get this straight: you land a kick ass, high paying job, and you're upset because your selfish, drama queen ex who can't stand to see you happy does you the favor of immediately taking herself out of the equation?
I fail to see any problem here.
You definately will have worse issues than dealing with an immature prima donna. You are trying to give life advice to people that are older and have far more experience than you. This is like a high school freshman telling the Senior Quarterback how to slay the prom queen.
Nothing women say or do is final. You can be sure she is still in love with you. Example: one girl, whom I would call once a week to setup plans for the weekend, would break up over the phone each time. This happened week after week. And every time I told her I don't care, we're hanging out this weekend, be ready at _pm when I pick you up. She is still in love with me.
Next time you have an over-the-top party, please invite me.
Congrats, I'm not sure if you should be hung up. My gf put me through a similar experience- hers is all based on fear, she needs someone around more. Some women can handle a busy guy, others cant. That matters for this type of career too.
There were girls in college I would've given by left arm to be with.
Now they're all 10+ years above target age. Ew.
Confused as to whether reading this post was a waste of time or an incredible waste of time
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